“What do you want, Malek?” I sighed and rolled my eyes. No way was I gonna give him the satisfaction of knowing he still looked good to me.
“Yo! Why you always gotta have an attitude?” He tossed what was left of the blunt to the ground, shaking his head.
“I don’t know, Malek. Why you always gotta show up where you’re not welcome?”
“Oh, so now I’m not welcome? Used to be a time you couldn’t get enough of me.” He was so damn sure of himself. I refused to even begin to discuss what used to be with him.
“That was a long time ago. A very long time ago”
“Wasn’t that long ago.” He took a step closer and tried to touch my face.
“Will you stop it?” I slapped his hand away and stepped back. “How the hell did you find out where I work, anyway? I don’t like nobody following me.”
He sucked his teeth and made a face. “Please, ain’t nobody following you. My man Kenny told me you was workin’ up here, so I thought I’d stop by and hit you off with some loot for Maleka. I was trying to do you a favor by coming here instead of your house.”
“You were trying to do me a favor? ” I couldn’t help it. I had to laugh. “Boy, if you show up anywhere near my house Travis is gonna shoot your ass.”
“Yeah, right. That nigga ain’t gonna do shit” He looked like he was about to say something smart but changed his mind. “Look, you want this money or what?”
“Oh, so you gonna give me some money, huh? You ain’t gave me shit in damn near four years. What makes you think I need your little chump change now?” I folded my arms over my chest and glared at him. His expression said he wan’t happy with my attitude, but he just shook his head as he pulled out a big wad of money and started counting it. I guess he was trying to impress me. If he really wanted to impress me, he would be handing me the whole thing instead of a couple o’ tens and twenties like I was expecting. He must have read my mind, because as soon as he stopped counting he folded up the money and handed it to me. I was so shocked I almost dropped it on the ground.
“Here. This is three-fifty. I’ll try to hit you off with a little more next week” He sounded confident. I didn’t answer him right away because I couldn’t take my eyes off of the money. I’d heard through the grapevine that he’d given up on his rap career and was hustling for a living. As far as I was concerned, this proved it. Malek had never had more than a few dollars in his pocket in all the time I had been with him. He was always buying DJ equipment or records, and what was left always went to weed.
“Who’d you rob, Malek?” I was tempted to give it back to him.
“I ain’t rob nobody,” he snapped.
“Yeah, right. Whatever.” Even if he hadn’t robbed anybody, Malek sure as hell got this money some kinda shady way. Of that I was sure. However, I wasn’t gonna argue. If I gave it back to him he’d probably end up spending it on weed anyway. All I had to do was forget about where the money came from and put it to good use for my daughter. That girl deserved something nice from him after all the years he’d neglected her. I just had to make sure Travis never knew about it, ’cause he sure as hell wouldn’t let me keep it.
“Thanks for the money, Malek. I’ll buy Maleka something nice with it” I wanted to make a quick exit. “I gotta go back to work.”
“Wait! Hold up a minute, Shorty. Why don’t you buy yourself something, too? You always looked good in red. Matter of fact, take this for you.” He reached into his other pocket and pulled out a hundred-dollar bill.
He just had to go there. I was gonna take the money and run, no strings attached, no guilt. But he just had to make this about more than our daughter. He had to make this about us. I was not about to let him use our child and this too-little, too-late child support to work his way back into my life. Not when I was trying to build a new life with Travis.
“Hold up! Let’s get something straight, Malek. Money for Maleka is one thing, but I don’t want shit from you. I got a man, and he takes real good care of me.”
“I know you got a man, but that don’t mean I can’t look out for you.” He held the hundred out to me. “We got a daughter together. We should be friends.”
“Malek, what are you up to?” No matter how sincere his voice sounded, I couldn’t help but be suspicious.
“Look, Shorty, shit is really fucked up in my life right about now and I could use a friend. You used to be my best friend and-”
I stopped him before he could continue with this sentimental bullshit. “The key words are ‘used to be,’ Malek. I’m sorry to hear that you’re having problems, but any problems you got I’m sure you brought upon yourself.” And gone are the days when I make those problems mine. I thought. “Now, I appreciate the money for Maleka, but that’s it. I’m not your friend. I’m not your lover. I’m just your baby’s mother and I really don’t wanna be that. So don’t play yourself, ’cause I will hurt your feelings.” I headed for the door to Wat-Mart, promising myself that I wouldn’t turn around till I was at my register.
“Yo, Shorty. Don’t do this. Come on, now. I got something important to tell you…! Shorty!”
I just kept walking, praying that he wasn’t gonna follow me.
“Stephanie, don’t do this! Please!”
I stopped dead in my tracks. He was actually pleading. And he called me by my real name, something I don’t think he’d done since our first date. I turned around and sighed in frustration. He was wearing me down.
“What, Malek?”
“Nana’s dying.”
“What’d you say?”
“I said Nana’s dying”
“Don’t play with me, Malek. That ain’t nothin’ to play about”
“I’m not playin’. The doctors don’t think she’s gonna make it more than a month or two. That’s the real reason I came by here. To tell you she’s been askin’ about you.”
Malek’s grandmother was a wonderful woman. Me and her were close once. Real close. I’d lived in her house for almost two years when Malek and I were together. For a time she was more of a mom to me than my own mother. But that all came to an end when I had Maleka. That’s when Malek moved to D.C. and I moved into the projects.
Nana had tried to get me to stay so she could help me with the baby, but I couldn’t do it. I was devastated after Malek left me. Being around his family would have just made it hurt worse, so I left Nana’s house, and pretty much her life. She’d only seen Maleka a few times over the last few years, and only I was to blame. I knew Nana wasn’t well enough to leave her house to visit the baby. After the first few months, I just stopped going to see her. I guess I called myself going on with my life, but deep down I knew it wasn’t fair to Nana. Just ’cause Malek turned out to be a sorry excuse for a father didn’t mean his family couldn’t know Maleka. I’d always felt guilty, and promised myself that someday I’d get over there with my daughter and let Nana get to know her. Now it might be too late.
“What happened? What’s wrong with her?” I could barely speak.
“Lung cancer, among other things. But you know how sick she was. You used to take care of her.” Another stab of guilt hit me.
“What hospital’s she at?”
“She was on the hospice floor at MCV Medical Center, but the doctors let her go home so she could die at home. Want me to take you over to the house?”
“No,” I told him, “I’ll meet you over there. I got a few things I gotta do first.” Like call Travis and make an excuse why I can’t pick up the kids.
Twenty minutes later I was standing in front of the gate at Nana’s small white house, trying to gather the strength to go in. Just the sight of the front door gave me a rush of fond memories. As sad as the circumstances were, this felt like a homecoming for me. I’d cooked my first Sunday dinner in that house and had Maleka’s baby shower there. Hell, I’d even lost my virginity in Malek’s bedroom the night of our junior prom. This place was special to me.