“Thank God,” I sighed pitifully now that my ego was in check, and I realized it was a good thing that nothing had happened. “I don’t think I could deal with it right now if I had.”
“Please, even if I wanted to get with you last night, I couldn’t. All you did was talk about your fiancée and how you wanted to go home but she was cheating on you. I don’t know what she’s got between her legs, but I sure as hell wish she’d share her secret, ’cause your ass is whipped.”
“Yeah, I know,” I agreed. “That’s part of my problem. I’m totally whipped.”
“Hey, that’s not necessarily a bad thing,” she smiled. “Stephanie’s a lucky girl. She just has to wake up and figure it out.”
“I don’t know, Brittany. I’m starting to think she’s never gonna figure it out.”
“Yeah, you told me that last night.”
“What didn’t I tell you?”
“I got the Reader’s Digest version of your whole four-year relationship. From your first date to her ex showing up Christmas Day to-”
I cut her off. “Damn, I really gotta stop drinking. Shit makes me talk too much.”
“It sure does.” She smiled. “Look, I’m about to make breakfast. You not no Muslim or anything, are you? ’Cause I don’t cook breakfast unless it’s got pork.”
“No, I eat pork. But I’m gonna pass. I need to get home and straighten a few things out before I head to the base.”
“Well, if you need somewhere to stay, you can stay here for a few days. But from now on, you get the couch.”
“You know, Brittany, you’re all right. Thanks.” I gave her a sad smile. “Who knows? The way things are going, I might need to take you up on that offer.”
“My door’s always open.”
“Travis,” a weak voice called from the living room when I got home a little after nine. I wasn’t looking forward to the confrontation I was sure was about to go down. Still, I went into the living room to deal with our problem like a man. Stephanie was sitting on the love seat, looking nothing like what I expected. I had expected her to be ready for a war of words. Instead, she looked like she’d already been defeated. Her hair was wrapped in an old scarf and she was wearing baggy sweats. But her face was the most surprising. Trails of black mascara started at her puffy eyes and streaked all the way down her cheeks. She looked like she’d been crying all night.
“Travis, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I know I shouldn’t have lied to you. Please don’t leave me.”
“Don’t worry.” I stepped closer to her. “I ain’t going nowhere. This is my house. But shit’s about to change around here. Do you understand me, Stephanie? Shit’s about to change or you can get the fuck out.” She jumped up and wrapped her arms around me as soon as I was within reach.
“I know. I understand. You didn’t mess with no woman last night, did you?” During the ride home I’d convinced myself that I should tell Stephanie the truth about getting drunk and winding up at Brittany’s. Hell, it was completely innocent. But now that I was looking at her tear-stained face, I didn’t think it was such a good idea.
“I had a few offers, but no, I didn’t mess with any-”
Before I could finish my sentence, her lips came down on mine and we were kissing like it was our first date.
“I want you, baby. I want you right now,” she purred like a sex kitten.
She let go of me and pulled her sweatshirt right off. Two seconds later she was standing in front of me naked as the day she was born. She grabbed my hand slowly and backed up until she was sitting in the love seat with her legs open.
“It’s all yours, baby. Any way you want it.”
But I wasn’t as enthusiastic as she was. I took a step back.
“What is it? What’s the matter?”
“I can’t live this way, Steph. I can’t be paranoid all the time. Worried about where you are or who you’re with. As much as I love you, it’s not worth it to me. So you do whatever you have to do to get your boy Malek straight. ’Cause you got one more chance and only one chance. You screw it up and we’re through. And you can try me if you want to.”
“I’m not gonna screw up, baby. Now, come here so I can show you how much I love you.”
“Where are the kids?” I whispered as I unbuttoned my shirt.
“I already took them to day care. We’ve got till five o’clock this afternoon.” I smiled at her answer as I unbuckled my pants.
“Well then, back that ass on up.”
19
It was a little after noon and Dylan and I were sitting in the Red Lobster on the West End having lunch. We’d been spending most of our free time together and I must say I was really enjoying it. I was getting more and more attached to him with each day. Sure, I still loved Derrick, but after the incident with Wendy at the prison, things just hadn’t been the same. Especially after I refused to bring him the drugs and Wendy started visiting him every week.
In some ways Dylan had taken over in Derrick’s absence. I actually relied on him so much more than I’d ever relied on Derrick. As much as I loved Derrick, and as well as he treated me when he was free, he never listened to me the way Dylan did. Whenever I’d had a bad day at work, or another fight with my sister, Derrick always acted like he didn’t have time to hear it. His so-called business was much more important to him. He always made me feel like my concerns were so trivial. Not so with Dylan. He had a business of his own, too, but it seemed like he could listen to my problems and my stories for hours. And the most beautiful thing was, he never judged me. There was this unconditional acceptance from him that I barely even got from my own family. Besides, it was nice having someone around to spoil me for a change.
In the few months I’d spent with Dylan, he’d learned more about me than Derrick had in all the years we’d been together. Dylan was so understanding, I couldn’t help but want to tell him everything. And because of that, we had no secrets. Well, almost none. I wasn’t about to tell him I was sexually attracted to him and that the two of us were just one kiss away from getting in between the sheets.
Every once in a while, I’d think about just forgetting Derrick and admitting my feelings to Dylan. But he kept telling me about this woman named Tonya he was messing with, so I kept myself in check. Of course, I wasn’t sure I believed Tonya was more than a figment of his imagination. Sometimes I suspected he was making her up to keep some distance between us. When we were together, he’d hug me a little tighter or stare at me a little longer than he would if everything were truly platonic. Besides, as much time as we spent together, there was no way in the world he could have another woman in his life. She’d have to be stupid. Whatever the case, we were both making an effort to keep things friendly and avoid another night like we had at Joe’s. My greatest fear was that we’d end up having some frivolous spur-of-the-moment affair that would ruin our friendship, and I didn’t think I could bear that. So with Derrick’s release date getting closer and closer, I was torn.
But no matter how much we tried to be just friends, most people who’d seen us together took it for granted that we were an item. To be honest, I didn’t discourage it. Other than the fact that we weren’t having sex, we might as well be a couple. Even the grocery store clerk got so used to seeing me there with Dylan that she commented one night when I was shopping alone. She told me she hoped we hadn’t broken up, ’cause he sure was a nice young man.
Yep, Dylan had that kind of effect on people. Unlike Derrick, everyone seemed to like him, especially Big Momma. I swear, if she were a few years younger she’d have pushed me to the side and gone after him herself. I couldn’t believe the way she acted when I brought him over to her house for Sunday dinner a few weeks ago. The minute we walked in the door, she started acting the fool. I never dreamed she would embarrass me like that.