“I know, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.” Dad doesn’t know I love Sylas. I told him I was playing the game and I guess he didn’t know the difference.
Dad sighs and I picture him raking his hand through his hair. Sylas does the same thing sometimes. I wasn’t lying when I said they were alike. They are. In so many ways.
“Well, now I’m going to have to regroup. Figure out how to approach him again.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know you are.” Dad never stays mad at me for long. “How did your visit go?” I was going to call him anyway and tell him about my day with Lizzy. That’s a much better subject to talk about.
“It was so good. She’s wonderful. I know she’s different, but she’s so smart. She sees the world in such an amazing way. And she didn’t let go of my hand the whole time.” I smile when I remember how hard she held me. Like she was afraid I was going to run away.
Dad coughs and I wonder if he’s crying.
“That’s great, Saige. It really is. I used to think about the two of you together and what it would look like.” We should have taken a picture. I didn’t even think of it at the time.
“She drew a picture of me,” I say as I take out the frame that I carefully wrapped up before putting it in my purse. “It’s really good. She got my hair and everything.” I pop the stand out from the back of the frame and set it on top of one of the tables in my living room. It somehow fits right in with my other décor and that makes me smile.
Sylas might not believe in fate, but I do.
Dad and I talk about other things and he says that he’s going to contact Sylas and set up a meeting. As much as Dad wants Sylas, he also wants the rest of his team. The ragtag group of Robin Hoods that have somehow managed to elude capture by their adversaries or police for several years.
I haven’t met them, but I’ve seen them all when I’ve been on surveillance.
One other thing I haven’t told Sylas is that I was the one who sent him the messages. One of Dad’s minions did the hacking, but I did the message sending because Dad didn’t trust someone else to. Dad was the one who took the pictures he also sent to Sylas.
It was fun. At first. Sylas was always on edge and stressed when he’d get one. I could read it all over him. And then I started hating it because it was just one more way I was lying to him.
There were other things I did and I’m not proud of it. Not at all. I’ve never thought about the people I’ve lied to in the past. Things were black and white. They were bad people and they were getting what they deserved. Sometimes that still didn’t feel like enough.
But with Sylas… I regret it. I actually regret it. And I don’t want to do it anymore. I’ve spent my whole life learning to be my father’s protégé and now I want to throw it away. I want to live a real life. A life not filled with lies and deception and pretending to be someone I’m not.
Not that I was pretending with Sylas. Deception has always been easy for me, but with him, it was difficult for the first time. Sylas challenged me. He made me feel things I hadn’t felt before. I had it all planned out, but then he started talking to me and I just found myself saying what I would normally say.
Like being with him broke down all my walls and stripped me bare.
I throw myself back into homework and finally get caught up on all the things I’d been putting off.
It’s Saturday night and I’m home in my pajamas. Wild times.
I could call Lo and go out with the gang. She’d asked me to go earlier in the week, but I wasn’t feeling it. Besides, I didn’t know how long we’d be gone to visit Lizzy and there was no way I was going to cut the visit short.
I want to go and see Sylas, but that’s probably a terrible idea. I do send him a text, letting him know, again, that I’m sorry. I don’t know what else I can say to him now. Maybe things with us are beyond repair. I have a wild idea of showing up at his place wearing just a trench coat or something, but that only works in movies.
And then I have a somewhat crazy idea, and run to find some of the information Dad gave me on Sylas and his crew.
The phone rings twice before Cash picks up.
“Hello?” he says, and I know he doesn’t know who’s calling.
“Hi. This is Saige.” He inhales sharply and I wait for him to respond.
“Well hello, Saige. It’s nice to finally speak to you.” His voice is deep and rich, which matches his stature. Cash is one of those fellows who looks like he flips tractor tires with one hand for fun and can rip phonebooks in half. He almost has to walk sideways to get through a standard doorway.
“Same here. You’re probably wondering a) how I got this number and b) what I’m calling about.” He chuckles and the sound rumbles through the phone.
“You’re right. I am wondering both of those things. Although I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t impressed that you got this number.” This is his personal cell phone that even Sylas doesn’t know about.
“You have people and so do we,” I say mildly.
“It would seem so. Are you going to answer the second question, or am I going to have to guess?”
“Yes, I am.” Although it would be kind of fun and string him along to pass the time. I take a breath to prepare. “I need your help with Sylas.”
My declaration is met with silence.
“Well. I can honestly say I was not expecting that at all. Well-done, you.” I almost think he’s going to give me a round of applause.
“What I can’t understand is why you would come to me to help you with Sylas. What exactly would you need my help with?” Now comes the tricky part. I have to throw the dice and hope they turn up in my favor.
“I love him,” I say, not beating around the bush. “I did the whole time. It wasn’t a lie and now he’s angry with me and can’t seem to get past what we did to one another.”
He just starts laughing. And laughing. It seems like it goes on forever.
“Well, that’s two surprises in tonight. I feel like I should give you an award.” I don’t want an award. I just want him to help me, or at least give me some advice.
“Do you believe me?” I ask.
“Well, I don’t know you very well, Saige Beaumont, but I believe you. I’m pretty good at spotting a liar, even when I can’t see them.” I bet he is. He’d have to be, to work with Sylas.
“Good. That’s good. So, will you help me?” I wait for him to laugh again and tell me to go fuck myself.
“Well, I know you must be desperate if you’re coming to me. Maybe we should meet and hash this out in person. How about the coffee shop near campus.” It’s the coffee shop I first met Sylas in. The coffee shop that will never be the same to me now because I’ll never go in there without thinking of Sylas.
“Half an hour?” I say.
“You’re on.”
He ends the call and I wonder what the hell I just did.
Nine
I’m a few minutes early, so I get a seat near the back so we can have some privacy. Cash walks in just as I’m wiping the table with a napkin. He’s pretty hard to miss. Actually, he’s impossible to miss.
Several people stop talking and watch him walk toward me. Well. I guess the table in the back isn’t going to stop people from noticing him. He’s too conspicuous.
His face lights up into a smile as he walks toward me and I can’t really tell what it’s supposed to mean. Is he happy to see me? Or does he smile when he’s nervous?
My hands are shaking a little as I toss the napkin I was using to clear the table.
“Well. Here you are,” he says, gesturing to me.
“Here I am,” I say, not sure what to do next. He settles it for both of us as he gathers me in his enormous arms and gives me the hug to end all hugs. I have to turn my head to the side so I can actually breathe. He lifts me up until I have to balance on my toes¸ but he sets me down gently.