"Are you lost, cailín?"
I'll admit I was shocked shitless by both the kindness in the voice and the innocuous title--simply "girl" in Irish. I turned and found a man smiling down at me, dressed in court finery, his tunic buttoned with shell-shaped buttons all the way up his neck.
A human. He glowed vaguely golden, enough to make me hungry but not enough to really tempt me. Besides, though he was handsome enough, with his laugh-lined eyes and crooked nose, he was neither beautiful enough nor fair enough to be a changeling, stolen away by the faeries as a child. Between that and his court clothing, I would have bet my curls he was the queen's new human consort. Even I, on the fringe as I was, had heard whispers of him.
I eyed him, wary, and said loftily, "Do I look lost, human?"
His eyes took in my jean skirt with the ripped bottom, my lowcut peasant top, and my impossibly tall cork heels. His mouth made a shape as if he had tried a lemon and found it sort of appealing. "It's hard to imagine you anywhere you didn't intend to be," he admitted.
I curled my mouth into a smile.
"You have an extremely wicked smile," he said.
"That's because I am extremely wicked. Haven't you heard?"
The consort's eyes returned to my face and his already smilethin eyes narrowed more. His voice was light, playful. "Should I have, human?"
I laughed out loud at his mistake. At least I knew now why he'd approached me--he thought I was one of his kind. Did I look that bad? "Far be it from me to disillusion you," I replied. "You'll find out soon enough. For now I'm enjoying your ignorance, to tell you the truth."
"The truth is all anyone can speak around here," the consort countered.
My mouth curled into a smile.
"I see conversing with you takes me only in circles," he said, and he held out a hand. "Would you dance, instead? Just one dance?"
I didn't like to dance with faeries, but he wasn't one. My teeth were a thin white line. "There is no such thing as one dance inside this circle."
"Indeed. So we dance until you say stop, and then--we stop?
I paused. Dancing with Eleanor's consort without begging for the privilege first seemed like a bad idea. Which added slightly to the appeal. "Where is my dear queen?"
"She is attending to other matters." For half a second, I thought
I saw something--relief, maybe--flicker across his face, and then it was gone. His hand was still outstretched toward me, and I put my hand in it.
And the music took us. My feet fell into the beat, and his feet were already in it, and we spun into the crowd. There was night somewhere out there, but it seemed far away from this hill, brilliantly lit by orbs and by the dust hanging in the air.
We were watched as we danced, his hands holding mine tightly, as if he held me up, and I heard voices as we danced past, snatches of conversation.
"--the leanan sidhe--"
"--if the queen knew--"
"--why does she dance with--"
"--he will be a king before--"
My fingers tightened on the consort's. "So you will be a king; that's why you are here."
His eyes were bright. Like all humans, he was half-drunk with the music once he started to dance. "It is not a secret."
I thought about saying it was from me, but I didn't want to look like an idiot. "You're only a human."
"But I can dance," he protested. And he could. Quite well for a human, the drum beat pushing his body this way and that, his feet making intricate patterns on the stamped-down grass.
"And I will have magic, later, when I am king." He spun me.
"How do you figure that, human?"
"The queen has promised me and I believe her; she can't lie."
He laughed, wildly, and I saw that he was ravished by the music, thrilled with the dance, so very vulnerable to us. "She is very beautiful. It hurts me, cailín, how beautiful she is."
That the queen's beauty hurt him was no surprise to me.
The queen's beauty pained everyone who saw her. "Magic doesn't just float around, human."
He laughed again, as if what I had said was funny. "Of course not! It moves from body to body, right? So I suppose it shall come from another somebody."
I considered myself a sinister creature but his statement sounded sinister, even to me. "Another magical somebody, hmm? One wonders how they would find another somebody like this. And what that would do to that somebody."
"The queen is very cunning."
I thought of the way she'd silently worked behind the old queen's back, carefully making sure that when the old queen's crown fell from her head, she--Eleanor--would rise up wearing it. "Oh, yes, she is very cunning. But it sounds to me like it's going to be extremely painful to somebody else."
The consort made a face of disbelief. "My queen is not cruel."
I just looked at him. Surely he didn't believe that. Not unless he'd been dropped on his head as a kid or something. But he didn't take it back. So I said, "Not everyone can hold magic even when they can manage to find it."
"Halloween, cailín. Day of the dead. Magic is more volatile then. And--she would not grant me something I could not carry.
She knows my weaknesses. I am not afraid; I believe I will be one of you soon enough."
"Stop," I snarled, and I stopped so suddenly that he jerked my arm, twisting my shoulder uncomfortably. "I don't think you know what you say."
He dropped my hand and stood, arms slack by his sides.
The dancers around us spun to stare at both of us. Their voices rose in murmurs and whispers.
"I wouldn't hurry to throw away my humanness so quickly," I told him, widening the space between us. "Until you see what being faerie really means."
My words were wasted. He just stared at me.
I left the consort standing there in the circle of faeries. Before
I'd even gone halfway invisible, a tall, red-haired faerie had taken his hand, and by the time I had abandoned physical form entirely, riding up and up on human thoughts and dreams, the consort had been pulled into the dance once again. From overhead, I couldn't tell him from the faeries, and I also couldn't tell what emotion was burning in my chest. But I left them all behind, glad to be rid of them; I had a dream to bestow.
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To:
James
I saw more faeries. The ensembles music called them.
They danced on the spare chairs. No one else could see them so i pretended i couldn't either. They were beautiful i saw music under their skin.
From:
Dee
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I dreamt of music. A song, intoxicating and viral, from someplace far away, beautiful and unattainable.
I wanted it, this gray song of desire. It was real in a way no dream had ever been.
I knew this was Nuala's doing, this song so beautiful that it hurt.
I woke up.
When I woke up, my mouth was stuffed with golden music. It was like having a song stuck in my head, but with taste and color and sensation attached to it. It was all wood smoke and beads of rain on oak leaves and shining gold strands choking me. It reminded me of wanting Dee, wanting to be a better piper, wanting to... just wanting.