Yeah, I'd have to tell her the way I'd decided to work it and I couldn't let myself weaken. I took one last slug from the bourbon bottle and capped it tight. Jessica was to the porch now, her hands out in front of her, searching for the doorframe.
CHAPTER SEVEN
As I drove down out of the foothills, my bottle of bourbon clamped tight between my thighs, I could see the lights of Westmount twinkling in the valley below. Jessica sat quietly by the window, her long black hair flowing back. She'd put on a white miniskirt and a tight orange pullover that made me wish it didn't have to be this way. All things considered, though, my lovely cousin had taken the whole thing pretty well. It'd been Janey who'd thrown the tantrum. Ed had to pack her bag myself and practically drag her to the station wagon. But now that we were on our way, Janey only pouted sullenly beside me, her camera clutched in her lap.
The bus-depot sign was hung just outside the only cafe in Westmount, and I pulled up against the curb and shut off the engine. Janey began to whimper and Jessica stiffened, knowing instinctively where we were.
"Ross," she said, reaching out with her long, cool fingers, finding my arm. "You don't know how good I can be for you. Take me with you to California. If you don't, you're blinder than I'll ever be."
I pulled my arm away and spun the cap off the bottle between my legs. Then I put it up and slugged hard. "I'm gonna go get same tickets an' find out whennuh bus comes. You both wal' here." Inside, I got a cup of coffee to sober a little on and waited till the waitress came by again before I asked about the bus schedule. Paying for the tickets, I dropped my wallet twice but finally collected my change, drained my cup and staggered back out to the sidewalk. Janey was sitting in the front seat where I'd left her, but Jessica was gone.
I jerked the door open and lunged across the seat. "Where in hell is Jess!"
"She said she had to take a walk," Janey said, shrugging and looking straight ahead. I slapped her hard with the back of my hand and watched the tears stream down her face.
"You stupi' little cunt!" I started up the street one way, then turned frantically in the other direction. There wasn't a sign of my dark-haired cousin anywhere. I fell back into the front seat. "Which way di' she go!" I slurred, my head swimming with alcohol.
"I… I didn't see." Her voice had lost its sassiness and she put a hand up over her face as she sensed my rage. This time I shook her until her head snapped back and forth.
"Jessica wouldn't just walk off in a strange town without one of us along. What in hell did you say?"
"I wanted her to know you didn't care anything about her!" Janey blurted suddenly, a sob catching in her throat.
My booze-hazed mind rolled in mad confusion. "Couldn't keep from twistin' the knife one lea' time, could you?" I tightened my fingers on my sister's arm until she winced. "Tell me everything, damn it!"
Janey's lips trembled. "I… I just said you'd been fucking me ever since we came up to the cabin." She put her arm up to protect her face from another one of my blows.
"I oughta beat your ass! What else did you say!"
My little sister looked too scared to go on but even more scared not to. "I told her you liked my body better 'cause I didn't have such big tits." She swallowed nervously. "I told her I sucked your cock, too."
I shoved her hard against the opposite door. "You stupid, dumb…"
"Ross," Janey cried, "don't go to California! We can screw any time we want now and I won't get knocked…" She stopped suddenly and clamped a hand over her mouth.
"What were you gonna say?" I grabbed her wrist and twisted it sharply.
"You're hurting me!"
"Why won't you get knocked up?" I twisted harder.
"Ouch! Ohhhh, here!" She plunged her free hand into her jeans pocket and yanked it out again. Something round and rubber-looking bounced across the seat. I knew at once it was the missing diaphragm Jessica had told me about. Quickly I shoved it into my own pocket.
"I wish there was time to pay you back for all this, but first we've got to find Jessica!"
I pulled Janey out of the car with me and sent her off down the street in one direction while I started in the other. In less than half an hour I'd searched every street and side street in town and had been in all the stores three times at least. When I got back to the station wagon, Janey was leaning tiredly against a fender. Her self-sure manner had faded and I could see she was only a confused and scared little girl again.
"What'll we do, Ross?" she asked, voice quavering. The twinkling neon beer sign of a bar halfway down the block caught my eye.
"The bars! I haven't looked in them yet!"
"Jessica wouldn't go in a bar, would she?" Janey frowned at me. I pulled one of the bus tickets to Crossbury from my shirt pocket and thrust it at her.
"You wait in the cafe for that damned bus. Even if I don't come back with Jessica, I want you on it." I yanked my sister's bag from the back of the Ford and spun her around to face me once more. "Those pictures you took. I want them now!"
A couple of old people passing on the sidewalk slowed and stared as Janey opened her bag and searched around inside, but I didn't give a shit any more about anything. Finally my sister fastened her suitcase again and handed me a small packet wrapped with rubber bands.
I flipped quickly through them, not taking time to really look close. "Is this all of them?"
Janey nodded slowly and looked down at her tennies. Without another word I started away down the block towards the first bar. Since Jessica wouldn't have to cross the street to get to it, I figured it was the most logical place to begin.
A couple of cowboys pushed the door back as I started in and I had to let them by before I plunged into the smoky dimness. My heart was pounding hard and as I found an empty stool at the bar, a couple of guys nearby laughed and jostled each other.
"Looks like that one mined the shearing this year!"
I stared ahead, uncomfortably aware of the way my hair curled long over my ears. A country song was blaring out over the jukebox and there was the smell of spilled beer and hand-rolled cigarettes and food frying somewhere in the back. The bartender came sidling down in front of me.
"You got an I.D., fella?"
"I don't want a drink. I'm looking for my cousin."
The bald-headed barkeep scratched his black mustache and looked at me suspiciously. "Your cousin! Now what's he supposed to look like?"
"My cousin's a girl. She's got black hair and a short white dress and…"
The bartender pursed his lips and grinned suggestively. "Oh, yeah… that one." He laughed softly. "First time I ever did see a blind girl on the make."
"Huh?"
"Sho' nuf." He changed the towel to his other shoulder and examined his nails. "I thought she was feeling up all my customers when she first come m. Then I figured she just couldn't see nothin'. Finally got pretty tight with Willy and Dan." He shook his head. "No telling where she'll end up with those two…"
I swallowed and tried to steady my voice. "You mean she's gone?"
The bartender started back down the bar, sopping up spills with a dirty sponge. "Yep. Wasn't here fifteen minutes and the three of 'em took off."
MY heart sank. "You don't know where they went, do you?"
"Nope, but you might ask Sheila. She was talking to Willy not long before that blind girl came in."
Sheila! I whirled around and squinted back beyond the dance floor, where a row of dark booths lined the wall. Finally I spotted her blonde hair. There was someone sitting with her in a corner, and both of them looked drunk. I started over.
"Well, look who's here!" she giggled, almost spilling her drink. The cowboy narrowed his eyes at me. He had a rough-looking face with a scar across one cheek.