I nod absently. I am too lost in my daughter’s beauty, admiring the tiny fingernails at the tip of each small finger. Hemalo should be here, I think. He will want to hold her and welcome her into this world. He needs to hold her to his breast and feel his heart mend, like mine is. “I will never forget your sister,” I whisper to my new daughter. “But it does not mean I will love you less. I will give you everything I could not give her…and more.”
The privacy screen is flung aside, and Hemalo storms in. His eyes are wild, and he is covered in snow. His normally smooth mane is disheveled. “Asha?”
I put a finger to my lips and then beckon him forward, feeling peaceful and so full of love. “Come greet your daughter.”
He falls to his knees where he stands, as if all the strength has left his body. “A girl?”
I nod slowly. We have dreamed of this day for three seasons, but in all of our dreams, we imagined a boy. “I am going to call her Shema,” I tell him. “Do you like it?”
He staggers forward, half-crawling to my side, and then sits on his haunches. He stares at her in my arms, wide-eyed. “She is so big.”
I chuckle, because she is. She is healthy and stout, my Shema. “Do you want to hold her?”
“More than anything.” His voice is hoarse, and his hands tremble as he extends them. I hand her gently over to him, feeling a pang of loss as he takes her from my arms. It dies away the moment I see the sheer joy on his face, the tears shining in his eyes as he gazes down at her. “Hello, Shema,” he whispers. “I am your father.”
My heart is full.
Author’s Note
The feels. Oh, the feels! I had so many of them when writing this book! I wanted to be respectful to the topic of losing a child, but at the same time, I also didn’t want to put readers into a book-long grieving session. It’s a fine line to make the story intriguing, romantic, and still hopeful, and I hope I kept you entertained.
One housekeeping note - in a prior story I mentioned that Asha and Hemalo’s baby was named Shemalo. In every story after that, the baby was called Hashala. I try to keep vigorous notes on the tribe, but some stuff slips through my fingers. I’m sorry! I’m fixing the earlier book and for clarity’s sake, we’re going with Hashala. I hope it’s not too confusing.
Some of you might ALSO be gnashing your teeth at the fact that I leapt ahead 3 years in the storyline! How can we possibly skip ahead when there’s so much going on???? I know, right? I feel like I lost those three years myself! But at the same time…it needed to be done for a few reasons. For one, I couldn’t leave Asha wondering and worrying, book after book. Even I’m not THAT cruel. I wanted to show her and Hemalo happy and their arms filled with joy. Second, Farli’s story is next, and she has to be adult-aged before we see her with her hero. And her story DOES come next in the timeline, and some important stuff goes down. :)
So, yes, we skipped ahead. By the time Farli’s book starts, we’re probably going to be 5-6 years post-original crash. You might notice that my people list has now been updated with ‘unnamed kit’ in several spots, and other couples might have also had more children, but I haven’t named it because we haven’t ran across it yet in story. I like to hold my cards close to my chest like that! Will we go back and fill in some of the stories in between that we missed out on, like Josie’s baby or Liz and Georgie’s second births? I do want to, but I’m also trying not to shower you with super-short stories, because let’s face it - who wants to read a short story when you can read a full book? But there’s still more stuff to cover, so we’ll see. I like leaving myself options, even if I don’t like leaving the characters.
As for why Claire was given a POV (point of view) in this book — I felt like part of Asha’s story was that she’d walled herself off from the tribe and the new human population for so long that she was more alone than ever, and I wanted to give her a friend. I originally thought to include Claire because I wanted to add the holiday fun in, and in my mind, barbarian holidays are narrated by Claire. But! Once I added Claire in, I realized that they would be perfect friends because of Claire’s past with Bek and how she hid away from the tribe when she was unhappy. She, of all people, would understand Asha’s actions, and I love that she turned into a BFF and defender of our prickliest sa-khui lady.
I’m sure someone out there is wondering why Ereven had no POV then, and well…sometimes people just don’t talk to me. That sounds weird and precious even to my own ears, but it’s true. When I write, it’s like a character is yammering in my ear, and Ereven is just so…chill. He doesn’t have much to say because he’s a happy, easy guy. Claire was the one with the story, so she was included. I hope that makes sense. Will we ever see a story from Ereven’s POV? Just like Ariana and Marlene, once they start speaking to me, I’ll write it down. Right now Farli’s been shouting pretty loudly (actually for a few books now) so she’s next in the lineup.
On one final note, this book is dedicated to all my mamas out there who have gone through the loss of a rainbow baby. So many of you have written to me about this and I hope the story was not too painful to read. I’m thinking of you, ladies. <3
Ruby
The People of Ice Planet Barbarians
As of the end of Barbarian’s Hope
Mated Couples and their kits
________
Vektal (Vehk-tall) - The chief of the sa-khui. Mated to Georgie.
Georgie – Human woman (and unofficial leader of the human females). Has taken on a dual-leadership role with her mate.
Talie (Tah-lee) – Their baby daughter.
Unnamed Kit - Their 2nd child.
_______
Maylak (May-lack) – Tribe Healer. Mated to Kashrem. Mother of Esha and Makash.
Kashrem (Cash-rehm) - Her mate, also a leather-worker.
Esha (Esh-uh) – Their young daughter.
Makash (Muh-cash) — Their newborn son.
_______
Sevvah (Sev-uh) – Tribe elder, mother to Aehako, Rokan, and Sessah
Oshen (Aw-shen) – Tribe elder, her mate
Sessah (Ses-uh) - Their youngest son
_______
Ereven (Air-uh-ven) Hunter, mated to Claire
Claire – Mated to Ereven, pregnant with a second kit
Erevair - Their first son
_______
Liz – Raahosh’s mate and huntress.
Raahosh (Rah-hosh) – Her mate. A hunter and brother to Rukh.
Raashel (Rah-shel) – Their daughter.
Unnamed kit - Their 2nd child.
_______
Stacy – Mated to Pashov. Mother to Pacy, a baby boy.
Pashov (Pah-showv) – son of Kemli and Borran, brother to Farli and Salukh. Mate of Stacy, father to Pacy.
Pacy – Their infant son.
_______