Not surprisingly in the city that never sleeps, the lobby is alive. People come and go, some still sporting the dressed-up attire of the night before, others looking ready to start a new day. “Coffee?” I ask the woman at the front desk. She directs me to a nearby Starbucks inside the hotel.
I stop at the glass front door, peering in for a long moment before Lucky even sees me. Her eyes jump at the sound of the bells rattling to announce a new customer. Her beautiful face looks conflicted, a mix of relief and uneasiness. Exactly the way my insides feel. She offers a hesitant smile and drops her eyes to the table in front of her. Two coffee cups.
“Good morning,” she offers uncertainly when I make my way over.
“That for me or your boyfriend?” My voice is flat, battling against the unevenness I feel inside of me.
She flinches. “It’s for you.”
I nod and take the seat across from her. We stare at each other, me trying desperately to hold on to my dignity and her reflecting back the pain I’d been clinging to as an excuse to wallow away my own sins since last night. The weight of the silence becomes too heavy. “Sleep good?”
“Not really. You?”
“Barely at all. I might have went at it a little too hard last night.”
The facade she was putting up crumbles as she stares at me, speechless. Her lips screw in disgust. She abruptly stands. “I realize I’m not one to talk, but I don’t need to hear the sordid details.” She’s striding away before I can replay exactly what I said that she misinterpreted.
Fuck.
I grab her arm. “I meant I went at drinking a little too hard last night.”
Her face changes, but the anger only softens to hurt. The pain in her voice causes my chest to ache. “I’m sorry. I don’t have any right…I…I should go,” she whispers.
“I slept in the bar last night. By myself.”
Her eyes are weary. “You don’t have to explain…”
“I know I don’t. But I want to.” I lean in and lower my voice. “I watched him kiss you and I wanted to hurt you back.” I search her eyes. “Did it hurt to think of me being with another woman?”
Her eyes are so expressive, she doesn’t even need to respond verbally. “Yes.”
“Then stay. Have coffee with me. Let me show you that starting our day off together is the way it’s supposed to be for us.”
She holds my gaze. I watch as a million thoughts fly through her mind until she lands on the one that matters. A small, but genuine smile tempts her lips and she sits back down. I breathe again.
We spend the next few hours sipping coffee and falling back into our daily routine. The hurt and fear behind us, I hate to leave our little bubble. I chance getting caught and weave her fingers with mine on top of the table before I speak softly. “I need you to choose. No more hiding. I want to kiss the hell out of you in public, whenever I want.”
Her eyes jump to me. I’m determined to stand strong, keeping my gaze fixed and resolute. “We’re leaving Vegas tomorrow night and then there’s a break for a few days once we hit California. I want you all to myself. Go away with me. Tell him it’s over before then. We’ll figure it out after that. But I need you to choose, Lucky.”
She considers my words, or more likely, the words I’m not saying. Choose me, or choose him. One or the other, because there’s no going back anymore. We’ve crossed the blur line.
Uncertainly, she nods. I walk away with a knot in my stomach, knowing what she’s likely walking into in L.A., if she doesn’t choose me. Ryder is planning on making things permanent.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Lucky
Dylan has never been a neglectful boyfriend, but the flip side is, he’s also not a very doting boyfriend either. Until today. It’s almost as if he senses I’m on the threshold of making a decision about us and has decided to pull out all the stops. Or maybe he just feels guilty about having to leave tonight after the show for a business meeting up north with sponsors.
“I made us reservations for noon today. We have to be downstairs a half hour before that.”
“Okay. I’ll jump in the shower. What are we doing?”
“Helicopter ride over Grand Canyon.”
“Really?” I’ve never been in a helicopter and it’s been years since I visited the Grand Canyon.
“Yep.” He smiles. “Figured between the bus and the hotels, you could use a little outdoors today.”
“I love the Grand Canyon. My dad and I went camping there when I was fifteen. We’d always talked about going back someday, but never got around to it.”
“I know.” Dylan walks to me and wraps his arms around my waist. “I remember you telling me about it. Your whole face lit up, so I figured it would be a good choice for today. I haven’t been making you smile enough lately. I’m going to work on that over the next week.” He leans down and kisses me softly. “Go get ready, I know how long you can take.”
I let the shower rain down on me, the heavy massaging pulses of water working to loosen my tense shoulder muscles. Hanging my head, I stare blankly at the water swirling around the drain. Dylan’s right, he hasn’t made me smile lately, but the truth is, I haven’t given him the chance since the day Flynn Beckham walked into my life. Maybe today is just what we need. Just what I need to finally know I’m making the right decision as the bus rolls on to California tomorrow.
“We camped right down there!” I point to a clearing along the river’s edge, yelling over the whirl of the chopper. There’s a microphone built into the headset I’m wearing so that the pilot, Dylan and I can all hear each other.
Dylan reaches for my hand. “Maybe we’ll go back one day.”
The pilot dips to the left, taking my stomach with him and making me smile. Dylan catches my eye. “There it is. It’s been hiding on me lately.” He cups my face with his hand and runs his thumb back and forth on my cheek. The contact feels…nice.
The pilot’s voice comes over our headset as he points out spectacular views—the Hoover Dam, Bypass Bride, Black Canyon. He brings us over an extinct volcano and then flies deep within the canyon for otherworldly views of the Colorado River running between multihued rock formations that are millions of years old.
I look down in awe of the natural beauty, a gift thoughtfully given by the man I’ve called my boyfriend for almost a year, and think to myself, the shade of blue in the shallow part of the river is almost the exact same as Flynn’s eyes. It’s at this moment I realize that although my brain may not have caught up yet, my heart has already made its decision.
The ride back to the hotel in the town car is quiet. Dylan’s gaze is troubled when he calls my attention back from where I’m lost staring out the window. “Is everything okay, Lucky?” His forehead puckers to a frown that matches his lips.
“Yes,” I lie. “I’m just tired. I’ve been having trouble sleeping. Guess I’m not used to being on the road anymore.”
“It takes a while. But you’ll get the hang of it. You need to stop getting up so early. You get out of bed like you’re anxious to start the day.”
I force a smile. “I’m just a morning person.”
“Guess it’s a good thing one of us is. Will come in handy when we have kids someday.”
The frightened look on my face makes him frown. “What’s wrong? You do want kids, don’t you?”
“Sure. Someday. But that day is a long time away.”
“I don’t want to be forty-five when I start to have kids.”
The ten-year age difference between us has never mattered. “I’m nowhere near ready to have a baby, Dylan.”