I don’t think she has much time.
Why?
She said she came to say good-bye.
I never made it home that night. Instead, I found myself sitting alone on Marian’s doorstep. Even though she was in there, and I was out, I still felt better at her place than mine.
For now. I didn’t know how much longer she’d be there, and I didn’t want to think about where I would be without her.
I fell asleep on her carefully swept front porch. And if I dreamed that night, I don’t remember.
Crucibles
You know, babies are born without kneecaps.” Aunt Grace wedged herself between the sofa cushions before her sister could get there.
“Grace Ann, how could you say such a thing? It’s downright disturbin’.”
“Mercy, it’s the God’s honest truth. I read it in Reader’s Digestive. Those readers are fulla information.”
“Why on God’s green earth are you talkin’ ’bout babies’ knees, anyhow?”
“Can’t say as I know. Just got me ta thinkin’ ’bout the way things change. If babies can just grow them some kneecaps, why can’t I learn ta fly? Why don’t they build stairs ta the moon? Why can’t Thelma get married ta that handsome Jim Clooney boy?”
“You can’t learn ta fly ’cause you got no wings. It wouldn’t make a lick a sense ta build stairs ta the moon ’cause they don’t have any breathin’ air up there. And that boy’s name is George Clooney, and Thelma can’t marry him ’cause he lives all the way over there in Hollywood and he’s not even a Methodist.”
I listened to them talk in the next room while I ate my cereal. Sometimes I understood what the Sisters were saying, even when it sounded like crazy talk. They were worried about Aunt Prue. They were preparing for the possibility she was going to die. Babies grew kneecaps, I guess. Things changed. It wasn’t a good thing or a bad thing, any more than kneecaps were good or bad. At least, that’s what I told myself.
Something else had changed.
Amma wasn’t in the kitchen this morning. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d left for school without seeing her. Even when she was mad and refused to cook breakfast, she would still be banging around in the kitchen, muttering to herself and giving me stinkeye.
The One-Eyed Menace was lying on the spoon rest, bone dry.
It didn’t feel right to leave without saying good-bye. I opened the drawer where Amma kept her extra-sharp #2 pencils. I grabbed one and tore a sheet of paper off the message pad. I was going to tell her I left for school. No big deal.
I leaned over the counter and started writing.
“Ethan Lawson Wate!” I hadn’t heard Amma come in, and I nearly jumped out of my skin.
“Jeez, Amma. You almost gave me a heart attack.” When I turned around, she was the one who looked like she was going to have one. Her face was ashen, and she was shaking her head like a mad woman.
“Amma, what’s wrong?” I started to cross the room, but she put her hand out.
“Stop!” Her hand was shaking. “What were you doin’?”
“I was writing you a note.” I held up the sheet of paper.
She pointed her bony finger at my other hand, the one still holding her pencil. “You were writin’ with the wrong hand.”
I looked down at the pencil in my left hand and let it drop, watching it roll across the floor.
I had been writing with my left hand.
But I was right-handed.
Amma backed out of the kitchen, her eyes shining, and tore down the hall.
“Amma!” I called after her, but she slammed her door behind her. I banged on it. “Amma! You have to tell me what’s wrong.”
What’s wrong with me.
“What’s all that ruckus out there?” Aunt Grace called from the living room. “I’m tryin’ ta watch my stories.”
I slid down to the floor, my back against Amma’s door, and waited. But she didn’t come out. She wasn’t going to tell me what was happening. I was going to have to figure it out on my own.
Time to grow a pair of kneecaps.
I didn’t feel the same way later that day, when I ran into my dad again with Mrs. English. This time they weren’t at the library. They were having lunch at my school. In my classroom. Where anyone could see them, including me. I wasn’t that ready for change.
I made the mistake of dropping off the draft of my Crucible essay during lunch, because I forgot to give it to her in English class. I pushed through the door without bothering to look through the little glass square, and there they were. Sharing a basket of Amma’s leftover fried chicken. At least I knew it would be rubbery.
“Dad?”
My dad smiled before he turned, which is how I knew he’d been waiting for this to happen. He had the smile ready. “Ethan? Sorry to surprise you on your home turf like this. I wanted to go over a few things with Lilian. She has some great ideas about the Eighteenth Moon project.”
“I bet she does.” I smiled at Mrs. English, holding up the paper. “My draft. I was going to put it in your in-box. Just ignore me.” Like I’m going to ignore you.
But I didn’t get off that easy.
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Mrs. English looked at me expectantly. I braced myself. The automatic answer to that question was always no, but I had no idea exactly what I wasn’t ready for.
“Ma’am?”
“For the reenactment of the Salem witch trials? We’re going to try the same cases The Crucible is based on. Have you been preparing your case study?”
“Yes, ma’am.” That explained the manila envelope marked ENGLISH in my backpack. I hadn’t been paying much attention in class lately.
“What an amazing idea, Lilian. I’d love to come watch, if you don’t mind,” my dad said.
“Not at all. You can videotape the trials for us. We can all watch it as a class afterward.”
“Great.” My dad beamed.
I felt the cold glass eye rolling over me as I walked out of the classroom.
L, did you know we’re reenacting the Salem witch trials in English tomorrow?
Haven’t been memorizing your case file? Do you even look in your backpack anymore?
Did you know my dad is videotaping it? I do. Because I walked in on his lunch date with Mrs. English.
Ewww.
What should we do?
There was a long pause.
I guess we should start calling her Ms. English?
Not funny, L.
Maybe you should finish reading The Crucible before class tomorrow.
The problem with having actual evil in your life is that regular, everyday evil—administrators giving you detention, the textbook evil that makes up most of high school existence—starts to feel less terrifying. Unless it’s your father dating your glass-eyed English teacher.
No matter how you looked at it, Lilian English was evil—the real kind or your everyday variety. Either way, she was eating rubbery chicken with my dad, and I was screwed.
Turns out The Crucible is more about bitches than witches, as Lena would be the first to say. I was glad I waited until the end of the unit to finish reading the play. It made me hate half of Jackson High, and the whole cheer squad, even more than usual.
By the time class started, I was proud that I actually did the reading and knew a few things about John Proctor, the guy who gets completely shafted. What I hadn’t anticipated was costumes—girls in gray dresses and white aprons, and guys in Sunday school shirts with their pants tucked into their socks. I didn’t get the memo, or it was still in my backpack. Lena wasn’t wearing a costume either.