“No, that’s it. You don’t need Casts that work for a Mortal. You’re not a Mortal anymore. You need Casts that work for a Sheer.” He flipped page after page. “An Umbra Cast. Sending a shadow from one world to the next. That’s you, the shadow. It should work.”
I thought about it. Could it be that simple?
I stared at my hand, at the flesh and bones of it.
It only looks like flesh and bones. You’re not really here, not like that. You don’t have a body.
What was the big difference between a Sheer and a shadow?
“I need to be able to touch something, though. It won’t work unless I can get the message to Lena, and I’ll need to be able to move some papers around.”
He cocked his head, twisting his face into a grimace. I hoped it was his thinking face.
“Do you need to touch something?”
“That’s what I just said.”
He shook his head. “No, it’s not. You said you need to move something. That’s different.”
“Does it matter?”
“Entirely.” He flipped a few more pages. “A Veritas Cast should allow the truth to appear. As long as you’re looking for the truth.”
“That’ll work?”
I hoped he was right.
Minutes later, any doubts I had about Xavier were gone.
I was here. I hadn’t flown across the Great River, or the Great Barrier, or any other supernatural seam. I hadn’t turned on the crow-vision. I was here, on Main, staring into the office of The Stars and Stripes .
At least, my shadow was.
I felt like Peter Pan in reverse. Like Wendy had unstitched my shadow from me instead of sewing it back to my feet.
I moved through the wall and into the darkness of the room, only I was even darker. I had no body, but it didn’t matter. I lifted my hand—the shadow of my hand—and thought the words Xavier had taught me.
I watched as the words on the page rearranged themselves. I had no time for riddles. No time for games, hidden messages.
My words were simple.
Five across.
Read, in Spanish.
ll. I. B. R. O.
Two down.
Belonging to.
O. F.
Five across.
Lunae.
M. O. O. N. S.
I lowered my hand and disappeared.
My last message, all I had left to say. Lena had figured out how to send me the river rock charm, and she would know how to send the Book to me. I hoped. If not, maybe Macon would.
If Abraham still had it, and Lena could get it away from him.
There were only about a thousand other ifs in between. I tried not to think about them, and all the people they involved. Or the danger that always surrounded The Book of Moons .
I couldn’t afford to think like that. I’d come this far, right?
She would find it, and I would find her.
It was the only Order of Things I cared about now.
BOOK TWO
CHAPTER 19
Mortal Problems
Sometimes Link could be a real idiot.
“Libro what? Book of Moons ? What does that mean?” Link looked from me to The Stars and Stripes , scratching his head. You would have thought I was bringing up the subject for the first time.
“Three words. It’s a book, Link. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.” It was only the book that had destroyed our lives, and the lives of all the Casters in my family before me on our sixteenth birthdays.
“That’s not what I meant.” He looked hurt.
I knew what Link meant.
But I didn’t know why Ethan was asking for The Book of Moons any more than Link did. So I just kept staring at the newspaper in the middle of the kitchen.
Amma was behind me, and she didn’t say a word. She’d been that way for a while now—since Ethan. The silence was as wrong as everything else. It was strange to not hear her banging around in her kitchen. Even stranger that we were sitting around Ethan’s kitchen table trying to figure out the message he’d left in today’s crossword puzzle. I wondered if he could see us or knew we were here.
surrounded by strangers who love me
(un)strangers made strange
by pain
I felt my fingers twitch, looking for the pen that wasn’t there. I fought the poetry off. It was a new habit. It hurt too much to write now. Three days after Ethan left, the word NO appeared, inked in black Sharpie on my left hand. WORDS
appeared on my right.
I hadn’t written a word since, not on paper. Not in my notebook. Not even on my walls. It seemed like forever since I had.
How long had Ethan been gone? Weeks? Months? It was all one long blur, as if time had stopped when he left.
Everything had stopped.
Link stared up at me from where he was sitting on the kitchen floor. When he unfolded his new quarter-Incubus body like that, he took up most of the kitchen. There were arms and legs everywhere, like a praying mantis, only with muscles.
Liv studied her own copy of the puzzle from the table—clipped and taped into her trusty red notebook, covered in her neatly penciled analysis—while John leaned over her shoulder. The way they moved together, you would think it hurt them not to touch.
Unlike Casters and Mortals.
A human and a hybrid Incubus. They don’t know how good they have it. Nothing catches fire when they kiss.
I sighed, resisting the urge to Cast a Discordia on them. We were all here. You would have thought nothing had changed. Only one person was missing.
Which made everything different.
I folded up the morning paper, sinking into the chair next to Liv. “ Book of Moons. That’s all it says. I don’t know why I keep reading it. If I read this thing any more times, I’m going to burn a hole in it with my eyes.”
“You can do that?” Link looked interested.
I wriggled my fingers in front of him. “Maybe I can burn more than just paper. So don’t tempt me.” Liv smiled at me sympathetically. As if the situation called for anything like a smile. “Well then, I suppose we have to think. Those are three rather specific words. So it seems the messages are changing.” She sounded precise and logical, like a British version of Marian, as she always did.
“And?” Link sounded irritated, like he always did lately.
“So what’s going on… over there?” Where Ethan is. Liv didn’t say it. Nobody wanted to. Liv pulled the three crossword puzzles out of her notebook. “At first, it seems like he just wants you to know he is…”
“Alive? Hate to break it to you—” Link said, but John kicked him under the table. Amma dropped a pan behind me, sending it clattering toward where Link sat on the floor. “Oww. You know what I meant.”
“Around,” John corrected him, looking from Amma to me. I nodded, feeling Amma’s hands slip down to rest on my shoulders.
I touched her hand with mine; her fingers curled tightly around it. Neither one of us wanted to let go. Especially now that it was possible Ethan wasn’t gone forever. It had been weeks since Ethan had started sending me messages through The Stars and Stripes . It didn’t matter what they said. They all said the same thing to me.
I’m here.
I’m still here.
You’re not alone.
I wished there was a way I could say it to him.
I squeezed Amma’s fingers harder. I tried to talk to her about it right after I found the first message, but she just muttered something about a fair trade and how it was her mess to sort out. How it was what she aimed to do, sooner or later.