“Let me ask you something. Do you doubt he loves you?”
“No,” I answer automatically, before my brain can engage. I have no doubt he loves me—not now. When I think about it, I never really have. I worried he wouldn’t feel the same after all these years when I came back, but the feeling quickly extinguished when I went to the workshop and saw his beautiful face.
“Then whatever it is, it will work out, hun. Stop putting obstacles in the way. You guys have had a hard enough time getting to where you are now. My advice? Let it go,” she offers.
I smile at my friend. She’s always got the simplest advice. If only it were that easy.
“Seriously? This is all the stuff you have?” Noah’s baritone voice carries from the hallway through to his kitchen.
“Yes, that’s everything we have with us at the minute,” I call over my shoulder, busy filling the kettle for a much-needed cup of tea. Turning it on, I grab two mugs from the cupboard.
Noah’s already brought in Kai’s travel cot and booster seat. I’ve strapped the little terror in the booster, and he’s devouring some carrot sticks I brought with us. They help with the last few teeth he’s cutting.
There’s a loud thud as Noah drops the suitcase, and his footfalls get closer. My skin prickles with excitement at his proximity, and I know he’s close. I would be able to tell even if I hadn’t heard him. His heat warms my back as his strong hands grasp my hips, pulling me against him. My hands freeze on the mugs, as he grazes his lips along my neck. Shivers hit all the right places when he nips on my earlobe then runs his tongue around the shell.
“I thought women weren’t meant to travel light.” His gravelly whisper sends a wave of goose bumps down my spine.
I let go of the mugs, turn, and wrap my arms around his neck and gaze up into his heated eyes. “I’m not most women,” I point out.
His hands leave my body as he grips the counter, pinning me between his arms. A cocky half smile tugs at his lips. “Not a fucking truer word spoken.”
“You’re going to have to watch your language a little bit better, Mr. Hamilton.” I divert my gaze to Kai, grateful he’s too interested in cooling his gums to pick up the new word.
“What are you going to do to make me?” he teases. I love the playful tone in his voice. His length swells against me, and I can feel every inch. The man’s insatiable.
“Well, I could restrict access to something you want, until you learn how to control your mouth.” A sly grin passes my lips as I push against him and run my fingers over the fuzz on his head.
A frustrated groan emanates from deep in his chest. “I’ve got unrestricted access to you for the first time in years and you’d deprive me?” He drops his voice and his lips graze my ear once again. “Besides, you love my dirty mouth.”
His mouth moves to my neck, caressing the soft skin beneath my ear. He pulls away, leaving me speechless, and there’s a simmering heat in his eyes. This part has always been so easy. Attraction, desire, but we are so much more. He pushes away from the counter and the lazy smile I love so much graces his lips.
“All in good time, angel.” I have no doubt what he sees reflected in my eyes. “You have unpacking to do. And unless you want me to help, I was going to take Kai to the DIY shop.”
My heart falters a little. I know Kai is safe with Noah, but the only man I have ever left him with is Alex. This is a whole new learning curve for me.
His inquisitive eyes narrow. “Is that okay?”
“Yes, of course it’s okay,” I sigh and drop my gaze. “This is all new for me too.”
He wraps an arm around my waist and reaches his fingers to my chin, making me lift my eyes to his. “We’ll work it out.”
The warmth and understanding in his expression makes me love him more. He’s not pushing me to let go of the role I’ve held single-handedly, he just works with me.
“I wanted to go and get some paint and stuff so I could paint the spare room for him. You know? Make it his. But I bet you want to choose the colour, anyway. It can wait.”
The image of Noah decorating and covered in paint splodges sets my heart racing faster. That he has thought about decorating Kai’s new bedroom without any coercion from me overwhelms me, but in a good way. My emotions are all over the place since returning.
“I love the idea. Just let me unpack and we’ll all go together. As a family,” I add.
His face lights up and he places a soft kiss on my forehead. “Okay, angel.” And he moves away from me and unstraps Kai from his booster seat. Kai wraps himself around his dad, but then struggles a few seconds later to get down. Noah places him on his feet and holds out his large hand to him.
“Hey, buster. Do you want to come explore your new home while Mummy unpacks?”
Kai’s face beams with excitement as his little hand clasps Noah’s and tugs hard. “‘Ome on, Da-dad.”
Noah lets him lead the way, but turns and smiles at me before leaving the room.
“You can’t possibly buy all this stuff,” I argue. I’m standing in the middle of an aisle in the local DIY shop feeling like I’m in the middle of a stand-off. After filling one trolley, Noah added another. Two full trolleys and we’ve only been here thirty minutes.
“Why can’t I?”
“Because it’ll cost a fortune.” Guilt eats at me. This is Noah’s way of making up for lost time. That’s my fault, not his.
“Yeah? So? Don’t worry about it. It’s okay.” He stops his trolley and glares at me, daring me to contradict him.
“That’s not the point.”
Grinning from ear to ear, he leans down and rests his forearms on the trolley’s handle. Every muscle in his arms flexes with the movement, and I struggle to tear my gaze away.
He smiles at a distracted Kai before speaking. “Well, what is the point? Because I’m sure that’s the point you used.” His cocky smile irritates me, and I want to wipe the flipping thing off.
“Stop being exasperating. You know what I meant. Kai really doesn’t need all this stuff.”
Becoming frustrated, I push my trolley past him and he reaches out and grasps my arm, making me look back at him.
“No. You clearly said I can’t buy all this stuff because of the cost. It’s not an issue. So what’s the problem?”
“Noah, please.”
“Lizzie, I want to buy it. Please, just let me do this. I want him to have the best. In fact, when we leave here we’re going to that baby shop up on the main road. I think it’s called Mamas, and something? Cait got all her baby shit from there. We’re buying a new bed and wardrobe and anything else Kai needs. Because I want to. I’ve done fuck all for him in his life, please let me have this.”
“You swore again.” I know it’s awful I’m only pointing out the negative in all he’s said, but it’s an instinctive reaction.
“Well stop making me fucking beg then.”
“Noah!”
He raises his hands in surrender. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll try harder. But I’m going to buy my son whatever the fu—hell I want.”
Kai sits in the trolley I’m pushing, oblivious to the argument his parents are having, sucking on his dummy. He’s surrounded by cans of blue and cream paint, floor wax, paintbrushes, and new light fittings. But those aren’t the only things Noah plans to buy. He’s filled a flatbed trolley with oak skirting boards, architrave mouldings, and planks of oak flooring.
“But we don’t need all this stuff. The room’s lovely as it is, it doesn’t even really need painting.” I’m being totally unreasonable, but I’m overwhelmed by the lengths Noah’s willing to go to for Kai.
“I. Don’t. Care.”
His words come out through gritted teeth and I know he’s trying to control his temper. I don’t know why I’m arguing the point so much, other than it’s hard to let go of the fact these things have always been up to me and I don’t want to feel like I owe him. It’s terrible to think that. And really, it is a lovely idea. But still, I argue.