“Bullshit!” he yells. “You goddamn know me and you know I didn’t take that fucking money!”
“No, I don’t! I don’t know anything anymore! You left and you never came back!” My pain becomes evident and I can’t hold back my tears any longer. “I told you I loved you. How could you just leave me like that?”
I watch his jaw flex as he tries to reign in whatever he’s feeling. “You forget that I asked you to come with me, Emily, and you said no.”
Anger begins to override my hurt. “That is not fair and you know it! I was seventeen, with no money and blind. I had nothing…”
“I would have fucking taken care of you! I would have never let anything happen to you.”
“I didn’t want you to take care of me!” I scream back. “I didn’t want to be a burden. You had your entire future laid out for you and my needs would have only held you back, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. I also didn’t think I would never see you again!” My breath hitches as I think back to the most heart wrenching time in my life. “I waited for hours at the well the next day, only to be met by my father. I was left alone in trying to defend our relationship, only to have him tell me he paid you off and you accepted the money graciously.”
“He fucking lied to you. He threatened Hector and his family; he said he would shut down his business or worse. I was told if I stayed you were in danger too. I was only seventeen, I couldn’t fucking protect you all! I did what I had to do to keep you safe. But if you think I left easily, Emily, you’re wrong!”
“You didn’t even say goodbye,” I whisper brokenly. He takes a step toward me but I hold my hand up to keep him back. I can’t let him touch me or I will cave, and I can’t. Not again.
He expels a frustrated breath. “I couldn’t fucking say goodbye. It was too hard. If I saw you again or heard your voice I wouldn’t have left.”
That has my temper flaring all over again. “Well I’m glad you made it easier for you! Meanwhile I was left to ponder, what happened to the boy I fell in love with. Did he take the money? Did he use me? Was my father right and I was just a piece of ass to him? But as long as it was easier on you, then by all means, I’m glad you left without so much as an explanation!”
“What do you want me to fucking say? That I made a mistake by not telling you? Fine, let’s play it where I did come and say goodbye, but then I couldn’t fucking leave you. Where would Hector be now? Where would we be? Look at what he’s capable of, Emily. It’s worse than I thought, but I’m not some fucking helpless kid anymore and I am going to fucking bring him down for all of it!”
I stare back at the hatred in his eyes and realize this is revenge for him. I have no doubt he cares about what’s happening to these girls, and wants to bring them justice, but this is about him and my father. I’m just his foot in the door. I shake my head not having anything left, my heart at its breaking point. “I will help you and Nick,” I whisper, needing to wrap this up before I completely lose it in front of him.
He releases a breath. “Thank you.”
“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for the girls. I’m done with your games, Ryder. I’m just… done with all of it.” With that parting comment I quickly walk away and ignore him when he tries calling me back. Once I’m in the privacy of my room, I let the dam break free. I turn my face into my pillow to keep my sobs silent. Summer jumps up next to me and curls into my body, her nose rubbing against my wet cheek. I wrap my arm around her and hold her close, soaking in her comfort. It isn’t long until exhaustion grips ahold of me and I succumb to it, not wanting to feel the pain anymore.
Chapter 14
Ryder
The next morning I lie awake on the most uncomfortable couch I’ve ever slept on, my mind running with doubt and my chest painfully tight since my fight with Emily last night.
I told you I loved you. How could you just leave me like that?
I didn’t sleep worth a shit, unable to get her heartbroken expression out of my head. I thought once she knew the truth about what happened all those years ago she would understand, but I hurt her more than I realized, especially by not saying goodbye. I’m not surprised her old man said I took the money, I figured he would and, to be honest, a part of me hoped she would have believed it. Because it would have been easier to have her hate me than love me, but she knew I didn’t take it. She always saw more in me than anyone else. Which only makes me feel more like shit.
I doubted my decision all night, but every time I thought about what would have happened if I’d stayed, I know it was the right thing to do. But I should have said goodbye to her. No matter how hard it would have been she deserved an explanation, and it’s a decision I will regret for the rest of my life.
I hear movement down the hall again, like I have for the last hour. She woke up to have a shower first thing, and I couldn’t help but picture her under the hot spray. It took every ounce of control I possessed not to go in there, bend her over and do what I have been aching to do since seeing her again. Hell, what I have wanted to do with her for the last six years. I haven’t dated anyone else in the time I have been gone. Fucked – yes, dated – no, and even fucking was never satisfying, because they didn’t smell like Emily, or taste like her, and they didn’t feel like her.
This case might have been what brought me back, but it doesn’t change the fact that from the moment I saw her again I knew I still loved her. She’s the only person I’ve ever loved. I understand she’s pissed right now, but I am not going to give up on her. I will make her forgive me and prove to her that she’s mine, that she has always been mine.
Not wanting to think about it anymore, I decide to get up and make a pot of coffee. Grabbing my jeans from the floor, I put them on then look at my bloody shirt and decide to forgo it. I shoot Stone a quick text, asking him to stop by my room and grab some clothes for me. I plan to stick to Emily like fucking glue until this shit is solved. There is too much of it surrounding her, and too many unanswered questions. My gut is telling me that this case entwines with her somehow.
Heading into the kitchen, I start going through her cupboards, looking for the coffee maker. I notice everything looks strategically placed, and I quickly realize that it would be from when she was blind. I make sure not to mess with her set-up, and finally find what I’m looking for in the last cupboard. When I close the door I see Emily standing in the entryway, freshly showered, looking incredibly fuckable in a pair of white designer jean shorts that showcase her sexy, toned legs and a pale blue tank that enhances her exotic ice blue eyes. The tightness in my chest increases when I catch sight of her swollen, puffy eyes. I get the urge to wrap her in my arms but I know she won’t welcome it. “Hey, Em.”
“Hey,” she responds softly. Her eyes roam over my shirtless body then focus on my bandage. “Are you sure you shouldn’t get that looked at?”
“No, it’s fine.”
She mumbles something intangible, clearly not believing me, then walks up and rips the coffee pot from my hand. “Just go sit down and I’ll make it.”
“I can do it.”
“Just go sit down.” She pushes against my chest with more force than I thought her capable of, but before she can remove her hand I encircle her wrist and pull her to me.
She gasps in surprise and stares up at me hesitantly. Moving her hand so it lays over my beating heart, I cup her face with my other, and trace my thumb under her puffy eye. “I’m sorry.” Her eyes turn glassy and she tries turning her face away, but I don’t let her. “I mean it, Em, I’m sorry.”
“For what part?” she asks, her tone barely above a whisper.
“For every part that hurt you, but most of all for not saying goodbye. I’m going to make it up to you though, I promise.”
She watches me, a long moment of silence stretching between us. “Some things can’t be taken back.” Her voice cracks and a single tear slips past the corner of her eye.