“Trust me, Ads.” he murmurs into my ear.
I think I nod but I’m not sure. His hand grips mine. He lifts our intertwined fingers to his lips and kisses the back of my palm. I take another deep, calming breath, welcoming the clean air. As I breathe in, I breathe out the smell of burnt rubber that exist only in my memory. Jax leads the way to an unknown destination. I have a sinking feeling that he’s taking me to my favorite place in Central Park, but I have no way of knowing.
When I start to panic again, he squeezes my hand, letting me know that I’m safe. I focus on my breathing and the panic eases up. I know that we look ridiculous because we’re barely moving and we keep stopping every few feet so that I can catch my breath, but I don’t care. I’m conquering a fear of lack of control because of Jax. He’s extremely patient with me, always whispering sweet nothings into my ear to remind me where I am. If I was with anyone else, I seriously doubt that I would be able to do this without being trapped into the past.
As he continues to lead me around Central Park, I finally relax. The tension in my shoulders subsides and with each squeeze of Jax’s strong hand holding mine, my pulse slowly returns to a much more normal pace. Being blindfolded is still one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in awhile, but with each step, I feel stronger for being able to relinquish control to someone else.
Jax suddenly stops, spins me around and whispers, “Keep your eyes closed.” He kisses my neck and removes the blindfold.
I tell myself to count to ten. The entire time I remind myself to be patient, to do as directed. When I get to five, the urge to take a quick peek overwhelms me. When I make it to seven, I shake my head, realizing that I’m not patient, far from it. Very slowly I open my eyes and see a very amused Jax sitting on an ocean blue blanket.
“I have to admit, I didn’t think you had it in you to keep your eyes closed for that long. The world must be ending.”
I ignore his comment and focus on the scenery. He took me to my favorite spot. He knows me too well. He has a blanket spread out with a picnic basket. His socks and shoes rest on the grass near the blanket. He’s grinning from ear-to-ear. There’s something about seeing him so relaxed, looking at me as if he couldn’t tear his eyes away from me even if he wanted to, that makes my stomach flutter. Awesome, Jax has turned me into that girl. The girl that gets butterflies in her stomach just from a look. As hard as I try, I can’t find a reason to not like the girl I’m becoming when I’m with him.
I take the three small steps to the blanket and stand over him so each leg is on the outside of his thighs. I make a point to cross my arms over my chest. “Well, were you just going to let me stand there all day with my eyes closed while you sunbathed?”
Jax raises his left eyebrow in that sexy way of his. Too quickly for me to gauge his intentions, he sweeps his arms out and hits me behind my knees so I fall forward on top of him. There’s something about Jax that makes me want to hit him all the time. I sit on top of his thighs and boldly kiss him. Jax waves his index finger back and forth in front of my face. I pout for a whole nanosecond before he grabs my face with both of his hands and deepens the kiss that I meant only as a peck.
When we both pull away, we’re breathless. My smile matches his. He draws circles on my bare thighs while I take the time to notice everything else he brought. Next to the picnic basket is my new camera bag and a book that’s so damaged I can’t even read what it is, but I know it’s his favorite, The Giver. It was the last thing his mom gave him before walking out the door, never to be heard or seen from again. He took so much effort to make this happen and I slapped him. Why is he still here? I’m crazy with a capital C.
“I’m sorry.” I kiss the cheek that I slapped.
Placing his hands on my shoulders, he drags me back so he has a clear view of my eyes. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“But—”
“It’s FINE, Ads. Besides, I’ve had it coming.”
“Who am I to argue with that.” I barely have the words out of my mouth before he’s tickling me. “Stop! Stop!” I try to squirm off him but it’s useless. He’s too strong. “I’m gonna pee my pants!” I shout through my laughter. He finally takes pity on me and kisses my nose.
“We couldn’t have you peeing on me again now, can we?”
Again? He’s crazy. I’ve never peed on anyone in my life. I ignore him and give him a quick kiss before leaning over to peer in the picnic basket. However, Jax quickly interrupts my attempts to eat by kissing me again. It isn’t until my stomach growls that he stops. Jax reaches over and unpacks our lunch with me still sitting on his lap.
After we take turns feeding each other, Jax decides to bask in the sun. Our fingers brush against each other as he hands me my camera bag and I feel it everywhere. He smiles at me as if feeling the same thing. I have no idea how a simple touch, even accidental, can set my skin on fire. It’s always been like this for me. I’ve tried to ignore it, but it’s always there. Even if I wanted to, I could never escape him. He’s a part of me.
I walk a distance away to take pictures of anything that catches my eye. I’m surprised that I’m able to get back into it as if no time has passed. Looking through the lens, I feel in control. I control what image I capture. When I take a picture of a little girl running after a little boy, I’m assaulted by memories of how I chased Jax when we younger. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Jax peacefully sleeping on the blanket, appearing much like The God that he is. So unfair.
I sneak up to him so that I can snap a picture of him completely relaxed. It’s amazing to see him lying here without his usual frown. I’m lost studying the man that I’ve always loved through the lens, when suddenly I see nothing but darkness. Startled, I move the camera out of my face to see Jax’s hand blocking the lens. He has an eyebrow raised in question.
Laughing I ask, “Were you awake the whole time?” He offers his hand to me. I take it and sit next to him.
“Of course. I love watching you, it’s like you’re in your own little world with this in front of your face.” He holds up my camera, I assume to make his point, but he starts clicking away instead.
I shield my face because I hate getting photographed, but Jax rolls on top of me to pin me down. Relief washes over me when he relinquishes the camera. It’s gone just as quickly after he captures both of my hands in one of his strong ones. He hovers over me with my hands stretched out over me head, away from my face.
“Okay, you made your point, Jax. You can stop now.” I speak sternly, but I’m fighting back a smile.
Releasing my hands, he snaps picture after picture, and continues to tickle me with his free hand. I scream and try to wiggle out from underneath him, but it’s useless. I’m his prisoner, powerless against him. Smiling wickedly, he leans down to trail his nose down my throat and back up. My breath catches. Dear God, that feels amazing.
“Jax,” I moan quietly.
He’s gone in the next breath, clicking pictures of me. My face burns up as I cover it with my arm. Jax leans in, lightly bites my arm in an attempt to stop me from shielding myself. He helps me sit up and continues taking pictures. This time he shoots both of us. We make funny faces, me kissing his cheek, him making me laugh, him looking at me fondly, and one of us kissing passionately. I love that he’s captured all of this. It somehow makes it real, I will always have the reminder of today. The re-beginning of us . . .
His phone rings, breaking the spell. I groan inwardly. When he sees who it is, his entire body goes rigid, his expression darkening. I know immediately that it’s Wyatt on the other line. That’s the only person who can make Jax change from the happy-go-lucky person he was a second ago to an avenging angel. As he gets to his feet, his face fills with regret. He swipes his finger across the screen to answer and strides over to a tree.