“I didn’t tell you it would be a good idea. You surprised me. But I can’t say it was a bad surprise.” A complete lie.
“I thought you’d like it. And there isn’t anyone else I’d rather have with me.” Even though we’ve been holding hands for hours, she reaches out for me again. We stay linked all the way to her place.
I get her some painkillers and situate her on her stomach on the couch.
“Did all your tattoos hurt?” she asks. “That’s a stupid question, of course they did. You seem young to have so many. Did you get them done all at once, or gradually?” She seems obsessed with tattoos and there’s really no way I can avoid her questions. So I’m going to give her a little bit of truth and hope she’s happy with it.
“Yes, they all hurt, but to different extents. I started getting them when I was seventeen, so I’ve had a few years of accumulating them.” That’s all she’s getting.
“Do you want some water or something?” I ask. I’d been so eager to hang out with her, but now I just want to leave.
“That would be great,” she says and I go to her kitchen to get it for her.
When I come back she’s got the remote in her hand and is flipping through the channels. I put the glass of water on the coffee table and wonder what I should do. She’s draped across the whole couch, so I’ll have to move her if I want to sit.
“Sorry I’m being a couch hog. You can move me, if you want.”
“No, it’s fine. I, ah, I think I’m going to go catch a cab and bring your car back.” She props herself up and I know I can’t escape the scrutiny of those green eyes.
“I’m sorry I asked so many questions. I know you don’t like it and I didn’t respect that. I should have told you that’s where we were going. I just… I wasn’t thinking. I was excited about the tattoo and I wanted you to be there. I should have asked you.” She reaches out for me again.
I sigh. I can’t fuck this up. I smile at her.
“It’s okay. I’m just stuck in my head. Don’t even worry about it. I’ll be back in a few.” I grab her keys from where she left them on the table by the door and head out to the street. My chest is tight and I don’t know where my head is at. I haven’t felt like this for a long time and I don’t like it.
I call a cab with my phone and see Baz down the street, watching me.
I’d get him to give me a ride if I didn’t think that someone was watching every single move I’m making. They probably followed me to the tattoo shop and took pictures while I was there. Doesn’t matter. I’m not going to hide and I’m not going to be threatened by anyone.
For a moment, I think about Saige, alone in her apartment, but whoever is following me is going after me, not her.
I get to the tattoo shop and Crash is outside smoking. He gives me a wave as I hop in Saige’s little red sports car. I don’t want to, but I give him a nod back and drive away as quick as I can.
Twenty-Four
I take the next day off work and go to see Lizzy. It’s a very, very stupid idea, but I do it anyway. Cash is following me today and it takes a while to shake him off. Of course, I end up getting a pissy text and send one back that I just need a few hours. He’s easier to convince than Row and he tells me that as long as I get my ass back by five, he’ll cover for me. Of course, he adds that if I get killed, it’s my own damn fault.
Lizzy in the activity room when I get there, making a picture collage. Her hands are carefully cutting pictures out of magazines.
“It’s nice to see you, Quinn,” Margo, one of the nurses, says to me when I check in. “You’re good to come and see her as much as you do. I know it can’t be easy to get away from your job.”
I smile at her and make my way over to Lizzy. I tap her on the shoulder and she jumps up to hug me. I sit down with her and she shows me what she’s been working on.
She’s cutting out flowers from a Better Homes and Gardens magazine. It reminds me of being with Saige yesterday and her tattoo.
“That’s very pretty. What are you going to do with it?” She shrugs.
“Don’t know.”
She goes back to work and hums to herself.
“Have you been reading without me?” I ask and she looks up at me, her baby blue eyes wide.
“No way,” she says, shaking her head, but biting back a smile.
“Have you been reading without me?” I say, narrowing my eyes and she giggles and tries to get away from me, but I grab her and tickle her ribs until she laughs so hard she can’t breathe.
The room we’re in is bright and all the residents seem happy and busy. I made sure when I put her here that it was a good facility. There are a lot of bad ones out there and there’s no way I could leave her in a place that I didn’t trust.
When she’s cutting I see a bracelet on her wrist. I don’t recognize it and ask her where she got it.
She presses her lips together and shakes her head back and forth.
“It’s a secret.”
“Oh, is it?” I just assume one of the nurses gave it to her. They do things like that. “Can I see it?” She holds her wrist in front of my face and I see the simple silver band with a charm on it. A scrolling silver E, for Elizabeth.
“Very nice,” I say and she cradles her wrist to her chest.
“It’s very special. I’m taking good care of it,” she says, her voice very serious.
“I see that you are. That’s a very nice present.” She nods and goes back to cutting. I stay the whole day, having lunch with her and playing tag outside in the yard with a few of her friends. After that, we go back to her room and I read some more Harry Potter. It is a really good book. It’s funny and engaging and Lizzy is loving it. I stay as long as I dare and then say goodbye to her. I text Cash as soon as I’m on the road what my arrival time is.
He messages back that I owe him. Oh, I know. I’m owing a lot of people a lot of things. Doesn’t matter, though. I’ll sacrifice for Lizzy.
I message Saige asking her how the tattoo is doing and she sends back a picture of it. Her back is red and angry, but that’s normal. She sends me another picture of her wincing.
OUCH.
I laugh and answer her that pain is a necessary evil.
She texts me back asking if I want to come over and make it all better. I don’t think sex is really the ideal solution and for some reason, I want to say no. This is the first time I’ve ever been conflicted about fucking Saige. Ever. I’m not sure why I’m conflicted now.
She’s twisting and turning my head around and getting inside my skin and bleeding through my veins and I just… I need a break.
Wish I could. Ton of work I need to catch up on.
I consider sending a frowning face, but that seems much too juvenile.
Too bad. I could really use someone to help me rub lotion on my back.
I smile and feel a pang of guilt at saying no to her, but I just can’t.
Now that is a line, Saige. You’re always accusing me of using them.
Her answer is a winky face.
I set my phone down and lean back on the couch. Leo has been watching me, his tail switching back and forth.
“Stop staring at me,” I say, but he just blinks his yellow eyes at me.
The burner phone goes off and I get another picture of me from today, walking into my apartment. Is this going to be a thing now? Daily picture messages letting me know that he’s watching me?
I want to smash the phone against the wall, but I don’t because there’s a knock at my door. Puzzled, I get up and reach for the gun I keep out when I’m home alone.
Softly as I can, I walk to the door and look out the peephole. Nothing. I wait and keep looking, but the hallway is empty. Slowly, I open the door and make sure to keep the gun out of sight. There’s a package in front of my door. It’s a simple brown box, closed with clear tape. Shit.