"Don't be silly," I said, leaning over and giving his handsome face a Cherry Garcia-flavored kiss. "I need the extra jack, you know? I've got some ice cream to replace."
I turned from him and gave Eli a kiss on his cheek. "Night guys," I said, heading towards the kitchen. "See y'all in the morning."
Later in the privacy of my room, I quickly changed into my nightgown and brushed my teeth, not wanting to look at my reflection in the mirror.
The truth was that I was ashamed of myself for daring to let my guard down with a man. I very seldom had done that, maybe just once or twice before, and it had never worked out.
Why in the hell had I thought that Darin was going to be any different?
As I snuggled down under my sheets, I remembered what my last semi-boyfriend had told me when we parted. "You're just too hard to keep up with Paige. You want it all and I'm not willing to give it all just yet. You're not my idea of soul mate material. I'm sorry."
That had been Ryan; a guy that I'd known all through school, but hadn't dated until I got out of college. We had been seeing each other steadily for three months when he broke it off. He said I was getting too intense, whatever that meant. He had been the deciding factor in my coming to D.C. to find a career and, hopefully, a new beginning somewhere else.
It seemed as if my luck with men was destined to follow me wherever I went.
I didn't really understand it, though, because I sure wasn't big on the whole 'Let's get married' or 'Let's live together' thing. I was simply looking for some intimacy—a connection that was more than just good sex, something that complimented the sex, that made it more than just a physical thing, but not an ownership thing, either. Somewhere in the middle, I guess.
The best relationship I had going was the one I had with these men. How screwed up was that?
Eli and Cain were the closest thing to soul mates that I'd ever had, even though we hadn’t really been a threesome for all that long.
And the fucked-up thing about that was that they were gay and in love and devoted to one another. How could I possibly fit into that equation?
But somehow, they did make me feel as if I belonged with them; like they cared about me as a woman, not as baby sister like it was with Trace and Easton.
And that part of it was what helped me get through stuff like this. Darin the asshat…Eli was so on the mark with that one. I sighed, somehow feeling comforted by these men that I lived with.
chapter 7
Cain and I were unpacking all of the linens, china, crystal and silverware for the wedding reception that he was catering. This one happened to be in the basement underneath the church where the wedding was taking place.
"Paige, if you set up the tables, I'm going to get the coffee service going, okay?"
"Sure," I replied, straightening out the white tablecloth at the wedding party table. "Who's setting the bar up?"
"Dry reception," he remarked, as he backed through the swinging door to the kitchen, waggling his eyebrows. "Sorry babe, I know you love the tips."
That sucks.
I enjoyed working with Cain and the others at these receptions, but the most enjoyable ones were those that had a bar set up. Cain usually allowed me to work the bar and the tips were pretty substantial.
A couple of the other girls had pissed and moaned a bit because they were full-time employees, not a fill-in like I was when one of the other workers wanted a Saturday off. Cain had explained his rationale to them: He was the boss, and if they didn't like it, then fucking go somewhere else.
Bahahaha!!
Jake and Connie came in; rolling a cart that had the wedding cake and punch bowl on it.
"Damn," I said, wrinkling my nose, "How big is this reception? That cake looks like it could feed a hundred people."
I looked around and saw that the tables were set up for about forty people max, not counting the wedding party which was set for six.
"Hah," Jake snorted with a smile, "Just wait until you see the newlyweds." I shrugged and continued with arranging the place settings.
Cain returned with the silver coffee service, Styrofoam cups along with the cream and sugar packets. "This is going to be a hot and cold appetizer buffet, Paige. So when you're finished up with the tables, can you give Julie some help getting the food table set up?"
"Sure thing, sweetie," I replied, tossing him a smile.
I had worked enough of these things to know the signs by now. This was a 'no-frills' reception. First clue: Booze-less. Second clue: an appetizer buffet that consisted of miniature pigs-in-a-blanket, chicken wings, deviled eggs (sans Cayenne pepper) potato salad, baked beans and potato chips.
We had barely gotten everything into place and the punch bowl filled, when the door to the church basement opened, and guests started piling in. The wedding party was close behind and then I got it.
Oh dear Lord.
The bride and groom had to have a combined weight of over six hundred pounds. The rest of the wedding party wasn't far behind. Thus the reason for the 7-tiered wedding cake, I presumed.
Music streamed through speakers placed around the room from a Spotify playlist of traditional love songs for weddings. I watched as the bride and groom interacted with one another and their guests. I hadn't realized that Cain had come up behind me as I released a wistful sigh.
"Something wrong?" he asked, placing his hands on my shoulders, startling me a bit, and then massaging them back into relaxation.
I shrugged, and then nodded slightly. "Look at them, Cain," I said softly, "Their love for one another is so beautiful and, I don't know, it kind of makes them look beautiful to me, you know?"
"Well who would've thought that our Paige was such a closet romantic?" he teased. "Wait until I share this with Eli."
"Oh stop," I said, smacking him playfully. "I've got no ax to grind with romance; romance just seems to have an ax to grind with me, I guess."
"Why would you say that?" he questioned, pulling me around to face him. "Is this about that fucking idiot, Darin?"
His eyes were once again piercing through me. Cain was so freaking intense sometimes that it gave me chills. I shivered, and his hands were quick to rub my back and shoulders gently, but he was still waiting for an answer.
"No—it's not about him," I replied. "It's more about me. I mean, is there something about me—some sort of repulse pheromone I'm giving off? Never mind—you aren't exactly the demographic I'm looking for anyway."
Shit.
I saw the fire flash in his eyes at the comment. I hadn't meant it like that…exactly. I mean, what the hell? Posing a question like that to a gay dude wasn't exactly fair, was it?
"Outside, now," he ordered, taking me by the arm and pulling me alongside of him. "You and I need to take a break."
Once outside, Cain found a concrete bench off to the side of the church, in a grassy area that had a statue of the Blessed Mother behind it.
"Sit," he ordered.
I sat down, waiting for him to take a seat, but he remained standing.
"First of all, sweetheart, you need to shed some of your pre-conceived notions about alternative lifestyles. Contrary to what you seem to think, homosexuals and bisexuals all don't fall into one neat little category that is black and white, okay?"
I nodded, and started to speak, but he raised his hand, his index finger pointing at me to remain quiet.
"Secondly, you've been with Eli and me long enough that we've both seen what you're doing. We've discussed it amongst ourselves, to be honest."
I quirked an eyebrow, hoping like hell that he intended to clue me in on their assessment.