“I know it must have been very painful, but I was so angry that I do not really remember feeling it. I feigned repentance for long enough that I was eventually unbound. I escaped after that, wandered alone for days, until I came to Callabarra and vowed to follow the way of cotton.”
Her hand fell away from her chest.
“I thought about taking it out. But ultimately, I’ve decided to keep it. It is a reminder, just as my brother intended it to be, I suppose. But instead of reminding me whom I serve, it reminds me of who I want to be, who I choose to be, every day that I am here instead of there.”
I had absolutely no idea what to say to that. I silently bumped my elbow against hers on the table, knowing it wasn’t enough.
“It is done,” Jolakaia said simply. “It is done, and now we shall work.”
But the look on her face told me it wasn’t done for her. Not really.
Not while her brother was still out there. I remembered the abandoned house Skalla and I had stayed at for one night, and wondered if Joleb had been the one to drive the occupants out.
Or kill them.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Suvi
The rest of the day passed pleasantly. Jolakaia and I fell into a comfortable rhythm, working well together, while Skalla acted as our surly supervisor. He glowered from the corner of the lab as if he had no real interest in joining in the work but was feeling miffed he hadn’t been invited to participate, anyway.
I found it cute. Alarmingly so.
Skalla had been beautiful to me before, no doubt about that, but cute was a whole other level. Cute implied affection beyond mere attraction.
Cute meant that I maybe, sort of, probably liked him. Liked him, liked him. More than thinking about him as the friend he’d become to me.
But then again, what kind of friend would eat you out with his split tongue and then promise, with absolute sincerity, to woo you?
But a part of me shrank back and couldn’t accept it. I thought of Jolakaia’s story about her brother’s raiding, and knew that Skalla had probably participated in similar things. Hopefully not the slaughtering innocents part...
I glanced over at him. Of course, his eye was already on me. Our gazes met, then I wrenched mine away.
I tried to picture Skalla pulling children out of their beds and I couldn’t. I really, truly couldn’t. Maybe he had few memories, but the internal core of him had to be the same, right? And the Skalla I knew wouldn’t hurt a child.
And if he’d hurt adults before, well...
People can change.
I remembered poor Nakib with his crutch, followed by Skalla’s uncaring statement of, “I broke his leg,” and sighed.
Skalla was at my side in an instant.
“She is tired. You are working my mate too hard,” he said. He laid protective hands on my shoulders, which I was about to shrug off to show that I could keep going, when he started rubbing his thumbs in the most exquisite circles on either side of my upper spine.
The sound that came out of me was entirely undignified. And I didn’t even care. I leaned into his touch, not realizing until that moment how long I’d been hunched over the table.
“We have accomplished much,” Jolakaia said. “Thank you, Suvi. Let us return and see what my wife has scrounged up for us to eat tonight.”
“That sounds perfect to me.” I was already looking forward to being back at their place, surrounded by the scent of the dirt road and the herbs and flowers blooming by their house, listening to Zev chatter on. My eyes slipped closed, picturing the scene, as Skalla’s massage on my shoulders deepened.
I felt warm thinking about how I could do this every day. I’d help in the lab, and maybe assist the Mother’s Seeds in the gardens, too. Then we’d go home to the apartment, share a meal with Zev and Jolakaia, then Skalla and I would sleep side-by-side, just as we had last night.
I thought of all these things.
And I was...
Happy.
My eyes flew open.
Happy? How could I be happy?
Happy without Elvi?
Happy when I’d never see another human again and my friends were still stuck on the ship?
How could I possibly feel this way when I’d never even chosen to be here in the first place?
Guilty confusion burned in my stomach. I shied away from Skalla’s hands and stood. Jolakaia and I began to clear the table, and Skala joined in, his eye never tearing itself from my face as we finished tidying up. Kobara had long since vacated her place. It was only us left in the room.
Which made the tall Bohnebregg figure watching us from the doorway all the more jarring when I turned around.
“Honoured Eye,” Jolakaia said with quiet respect.
Much louder, and with none of the respect, Skalla growled, “What do you want?”
“Skalla!” I scolded him, shooting him a sharp look. Koltar had never done anything to earn our ire. He’d watched Skalla hurt his temple’s guards and then he’d helped us anyway. He’d allowed us in, gave us his resources so I could be healed, and all of it under the threat of Skalla’s rage.
“It was a perfectly legitimate question. I am simply inquiring what he wants,” Skalla grumbled. “Surely you cannot find fault in me for that.”
“Sometimes it’s not what a person says but how they say it,” I countered crisply, rolling my eyes. I turned back to the male in his saffron-yellow robes. “Hello, Koltar.”
When it became very clear that Skalla had no interest in facilitating the conversation and I’d get none of his translating skills, I switched, with the stiffness of an unused muscle, to Bohnebregg. The webbing in my ear has made it too easy to talk to Skalla in human languages.... I need to practise more...
“Is there a thing we can make with you?” I said stiltedly. Crap. That wasn’t right. I tried again. “Is there a thing we can help with you... You with?”
Close enough. Koltar smiled, obviously understanding the question, or at least the sincerity of it.
Skalla hissed out a dramatic sigh, as if it physically pained him that I was paying any mind to one of the most important people in the entire fucking city. He rubbed viciously at his snout, glaring at the Mother’s Eye.
“I am come merely to see how you fare, Suvi, and to congratulate you. I did not get a chance before you left for your new accommodations.”
“Congratulate...” I pursed my lips in confusion. “Why?”
“Why, for your bonding, of course!”
“My... what?”
Koltar’s gaze went to Skalla.
“I have heard the good news. That you and Skallagrim are mated. I confess I am not well-versed in the matter. I am going on legends around the ancient princess Jolakaia and her mate – Skallagrim’s parents – and the bits I’ve picked up from Aeshyr. But from what I’ve gathered, the bond between a stone sky god and his mate is powerful indeed.”
He was staring intently at me now, as if trying to see right inside my brain, and all at once it hit me.
He’s congratulating me on sealing the mate bond by taking Skallagrim’s knot.
My cheeks flamed, and Skalla made a rough noise before stepping in front of me, blocking me from view.
“You have bonded,” Koltar said to the wall of Skalla’s body, “have you not?”
Skalla’s wings flexed with restrained fury, and I was glad it wasn’t just me who found that question to be extremely invasive. Even Jolakaia looked awkward about the whole thing, turning to fiddle with the knob on a nearby machine.