She said now: "Well ducky, have a cup of tea, will you. love? I'll tell Poll to make it.”
"I cannot stay," said Mistress Carolan.
"I have to be upstairs.”
The airs! The graces! Too good to drink a cup of tea at Margery's table, Margery who had been good to her when she had come from the ship a poor, lousy, shivering creature!
"A word in your ear," said Margery, a dull flush rising to her cheeks.
"I have not very much time to spare," she said.
You'll have time to spare for this, me lady! Margery looked through the window to where Esther and Poll were pumping water in the yard: "It's what the master will say that worries me. I always thought Jin would be the one. I didn't think it would be her.”
"What do you mean?”
"What ain't you noticed?”
"Noticed what?”
"What's happened to her!" She nodded through the window at the two girls at the pump.
"Poll?”
"The other one.”
"Why," said Carolan, 'what has happened?”
"Can't you see? You've got eyes in your head, ain't you? Oh, I know what it is, them eyes is too busy upstairs to notice what's going on down here among us humble folk.”
"Esther...”
"She fainted clean away yesterday. Where's your eyes, girl? But, deary me, I reckon a lady wouldn't be noticing such things.”
"Esther..." said Carolan again. '... has been up to what ain't respectable. That's about the long and the short of it.”
Carolan turned on her.
"You're a coarse old woman! Esther fainted then she is ill. How can anyone endure this sort of life ...?”
"Well, there is them that gets themselves a place upstairs, but it ain't so good for us ordinary folks, that I will admit. But if ever I see a girl in trouble, I see one now.”
"But Esther... Esther... it isn't possible! She...”
"Ah! It's the quiet ones what go wrong: I've seen it before. One little slip and down they go, sliding down to perdition. Whereas our kind ... you and me ..." She nudged Carolan, winking one eye.
"I don't believe it.”
"It's true as I stand here. I got her round all right. I had a good look at her. I wasn't born yesterday. I know a pregnant girl when I see one, and I saw one yesterday. I sent the others out, then I made her tell me. All she could say was that she loved him and there didn't seem nothing wrong in it at the time. That's what they all say"?
"Marcus!" whispered Carolan.
That's about the ticket. Been hanging round here a lot, he has. He's artful as a monkey, he is. It wouldn't be easy for a girl like her to say no to him. You see, he knows just how to get round her, him ... going all religious-like just to make her feel everything's all right, and talking about love being beautiful and sacred. I reckon; and then she gives way... that's how trouble starts.”
Margery watched her. She had to admire her. Her face was blank and white, so that you wouldn't know what was going on behind her eyes.
They were hard and bright like precious stones. And how they glittered.
That's got you, my fine lady! That's pricked your pride. Thought he was all for you, didn't you? Thought he couldn't look at anyone else.
You've got a lot to learn, my pretty. Men is men all the world over.
Carolan went past Margery right out into the yard. She went to Esther, and the way she dragged her from the pump showed what she was feeling.
She could have murdered the girl, it was clear. She was wishing she had never met her.
That would teach her to give herself airs. Oh, but so lovely she was, lovelier in her rage than she was when she was soft. And just because she held her head so high, it made you want to cry for her, made your inside go all funny. It seemed there was some evil blight on her lovemaking. First that parson who didn't move a hand's turn to save her. Then Marcus, who was mad for her, and yet couldn't keep himself straight for her. There's men for you! Not worth a penny piece, the whole boiling of them. Ruining a girl's life like that. Oh, she was wild! Oh, she was angry! She was sad too. She was flaying the girl with her tongue. pouring contempt on her. Sly thing, all that praying, and then to go behind her dear friend's back... Margery wiped a tear away from her eyes. It was something that couldn't be helped.
Margery had seen it coming. The girl's blossoming, washing her hair under the pump till it was all shining and made little curls all round her forehead; watching the window for a sight of him, listening for his step. A woman can't have such goings on in her kitchen and not get a bit of a kick out of it herself.
That evening, that was the beginning. Her ladyship flouncing down for something or other and seeing Marcus there at the table drinking a glass of ale, and her looking at him like he was a bit of dirt beneath her feet, when all the time she was jealous because he was sitting so close to Esther. She didn't stay in the kitchen; she went upstairs again. And the way his eyes followed her, started making your own water. She was just a child really. Seventeen. It ain't so easy to remember what you was at seventeen. Pretty silly... making a fool of yourself. Well, that was what Mistress Carolan had done ... made a fool of herself and Esther and Marcus too for that matter. Him and her! What a pair! They rushed at life; there wasn't any sense in rushing at life; you came a cropper sure as you were born. There was her ladyship wanting him, and there was him wanting her. But no, she has to be all pride and dignity just because he let a woman keep him to get started on his way of life; and he has to show his anger with her by pretending to be interested in someone else. If you've been young and in love yourself, you know. Silly children! Want a good smacking, both of them.
She had made Esther drink gin that night, a lot of it. It was easy enough to keep filling her glass. And he had drunk too, and got reckless, and that was the beginning. Esther was pretty enough when she was lively, when she wasn't saving her prayers, when she was wanting a bit of life like other girls wanted. He was never the man to miss his opportunities; it was as natural and easy as eating and drinking to him. He was made that way. That was how it happened ... and give young people a taste for that sort of thing, and there you are. They don't stop at once... not if she knew anything about it! And there was her ladyship, tripping about upstairs, getting dresses out of the mistress, altering them, like some queen's favourite, making her lover wait a while to show her displeasure. Ha! Ha! It was funny, whatever way you looked at it.
Carolan came in from the yard. She looked like a sleepwalker, with all the life taken out of her.
"Now, lovey," said Margery, 'it don't do to take these things to heart, and all this keeping a man waiting never did pay, to my mind.”
But she had walked through the kitchen as though Margery was not there.
"Draw the curtains, Carolan. I think I will have a rest for a while.”
"I will leave you, M'am; you will rest better without me." Her voice was hard, determined. She could not stay in this room; she could not bear it. She would scream, be rude to the woman, would cry out: "Oh, stop talking of your silly ailments! What do you think I am suffering ... I have lost Marcus! First Everard Then Marcus!”
"I wish to turn out one of the cupboards in the toilet-room. If you need me, you can knock on the wall.”
Docilely Lucille Masterman nodded, and Carolan went out.
She looked at herself in the long mirror. How strange she looked! If that selfish woman in there had been the least bit interested in anything but herself and her silly medicines she would have noticed.