When he opened the door, another woman’s name on his lips and the tattered edges of his torment blazing in his eyes, she had felt her stomach drop. Then he had grabbed her, forcing his mouth onto hers in a kiss so achingly powerful she could still feel it down to her toes. From there she was lost in the sweet torture of his lovemaking.
At first she didn’t understand it. But after he ripped the clothes from her body and brought her to a shuddering climax with this his hands and mouth on her breasts, she knew what he was up to. He wanted her to feel. Feel every ounce of what he was going through; the anger, frustration, and regret of what happened between them. The anger was simmering higher than the rest and that scared her.
What scared her more was that she let her emotions slip free in those mindless moments. The few times he had met her eyes he quickly distracted them both. Like he didn’t want to face what he saw in her open gaze. Flinging a few choice phrases at herself, she drank in the sight of the man next to her.
Releasing a mental sigh she admitted coming here had been a mistake. She’d been kidding herself if she thought he’d welcome her back into his life with open arms. The way he took her only a few hours before was testament to that. It wasn’t affection that had fueled each earth shattering thrust into her body, but a deep-seated anger she didn’t think she could work past.
As carefully as she could, she removed his warm hand from her body and slid from the bed. There was no reason to stay and she’d rather avoid the awkwardness that would soon follow when Falon opened his eyes. She didn’t think she could handle the sparks of fire she had seen in his eyes as he took her body again. Not when she loved him this much. Enough to walk away, leaving him thinking he was right and the regret he felt was unfounded.
Walking as quietly as she could, she searched the darkened room for her tattered clothing. Maybe he had left enough of it intact she could make it out of the hotel and back home with minimal embarrassment.
“Underwear is by the door.”
Sarah shrieked. “I didn’t expect—”
“Me to wake up before you went slinking off?” He was now sitting up in the bed, the white sheet drawn to cover him to the hips. “Like I said, by the door.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She bent and picked up the bit of lace. Catching his arched brow, she sighed. “Okay, maybe it was. But what do you expect me to do?”
She spread her arms wide in frustration before she remembered she was naked. Wrapping them around her middle in an effort to feel less exposed, she waited for his answer.
“How about an explanation as to why you decided to visit in the middle of the night?”
He was right. He did deserve to know why she had invaded his privacy. Especially if he had been expecting another woman at the door. Which reminded her …
“Just answer me one thing.” She pushed past the lump in her throat and waited for him to nod. “Did you sleep with her?”
She wasn’t sure what she would do if he had. The idea of Ginny with her acrylic-nailed hands on Falon made her stomach turn and the ache in her chest to flare.
“Would it matter if I did?” He leveled her with a cool look she could only interpret as meaning it didn’t matter to him if she cared he had been sleeping with Ginny.
“Would it matter to you what I had to say if you have already moved on?” She watched in amazement as his nostrils flared. Perhaps she had gone a bit too far.
“No,” he eventually ground out and she felt her stomach flip. “I haven’t slept with her.”
She almost asked why but thought better of it. She was already walking a thin line with this man.
“I know I’ve made a mess of things. And I know what you think you heard.” She held up a hand when he tried to interrupt. “What you heard while eavesdropping was only a part of the bigger picture and if you give me a chance I’ll try and make you understand. If when I’m finished you want nothing more to do with me I’ll leave.”
Sarah began to pace as she tried to decide where to start. She knew she needed to come clean about what happened at Northwestern. She also knew the idea of bringing it up and him actually remembering scared the pants off her. Or would have if she were wearing any.
Suddenly a ball of cotton hit her in the face. Reflex had her clutching the material; confusion had her looking over at Falon.
“Put it on and spit it out.”
Loosening her hold on the bundle revealed it was a man’s T-shirt. Falon’s T-shirt. Resisting the urge to hold it to her nose and breathe the scent of him in, she quickly slipped the worn cotton over her head. When the hem hit the tops of her thighs she looked back to him and caught a look of possession so fleeting she convinced herself it was wishful thinking.
“Spit it out. Right.” She took a deep breath. “Okay … so when I told you I had admired you from a distance back in college. That wasn’t exactly the whole truth.”
She realized she was playing with the hem of the shirt and smoothing it back over her thigh. She couldn’t dwell on the fact she caught Falon following the motions of her fingers. Nor could she focus on her body’s reaction to his eyes on her. He needed to hear her story and if afterward …
No. She wouldn’t think about it.
“You were saying?” His body was so tense, like he was bracing for the impact of her words. “You were about to tell me of another lie you told?”
“No, it wasn’t—” Sarah prayed for the calm she would need to get through this. “Just let me finish.”
“By all means.”
She told him everything. About how she had been too shy to approach him in college. How she thought she was half in love with him. About the night she had wandered into his room looking for his roommate and her confidant only to find Falon there. How she had sunk away in the middle of the night afraid in the light of day he wouldn’t feel the same. About how she was obviously right because the very next day he proceeded to sleep his way through most of the university. She told him all about seeing him for the first time at the agency and longing to see the man who used to live behind those chocolate eyes.
“I never set out to do anything more than get you to see beyond that wall of ice you built around yourself.” She sighed. “It seems silly now that I know you. The real you, not that silly boy I built up in my head all those years ago. I didn’t know what love was then.” She met his eyes. “I didn’t know who you were.”
Falon sat motionless on the bed and she feared she said too much. When he didn’t say anything after a long moment, she went back to collecting her scattered belongings. She had given it her all and it just wasn’t enough. Refusing to let him see the tears she was fighting back, she turned her back to him and reached for the hem of the shirt he loaned her. Fully prepared to leave the garment behind she gave in to her first impulse, lowered her nose to her shoulder and inhaled deeply. His spicy scent filled her. Making her long for something she obviously never had. Never would have.
Eyes squeezed tight she began to lift the shirt when a warm hand stopped her. “It looks good on you.” Falon’s soft voice in her ear was the sweetest sound she ever heard. Her eyes flew open wide going to his instantly. There was something different. His features softened, his eyes warmer than she had seen them in days. What was happening?
“I’ll have it washed and returned to you,” she pushed through wooden lips. To her surprise, he just threw his head back and laughed the freest laugh she had ever heard pass his lips.
“That’s not what I meant.” A smile curved his lips. “Where do you think you’re going?”