“Never seen you run her wide open in thick soup before, sir.” Higgins’s unspoken question to Harry hung in the air as he looked at me.
“Not to worry, Higgins. Jerry is probably sticking close to the shore. I’m more worried about hitting a bloody big log. Now finish up in the mess and get up here. We could use an extra set of eyes.”
“Aye, sir!” Higgins said, untying his apron as he turned to go below. He sounded excited.
“So this isn’t SOP?” I asked Harry in a low voice.
“There’s no such thing as standard operating procedure out here, Billy. This would be a damn silly thing to do anywhere else, but we’ve got to get to Tomma before the weather clears. And it will soon.”
“And when it does…?”
“Then we better be well out to sea, and you safely on dry ground, or else we’ll be trapped close to shore, sighted by patrol craft or Germans on land, and they’ll send out the Luftwaffe. Not a good thing, I assure you.”
“Should we wait for nightfall?”
Harry shook his head.
“Nowhere to wait. When the fog clears, the Germans will send out everything they have. They’ll want to make up for lost time. We could go a hundred miles and chances are they’d spot us. We’ve got to get you ashore now.”
“But what happens to you after you drop me off? When the weather clears?”
“We take our chances, old boy. Just like you.”
For the first time it occurred to me that my little unauthorized jaunt could cost others their lives. I didn’t want that and hadn’t planned on it. Everything was supposed to work out as Jens and I thought it would. The weather was supposed to cooperate, damn it! This was supposed to be a milk run, just another day on the job for these guys.
I thought about Uncle Ike. How many guys would he send to die, thinking he had everything figured out, only to have something uncontrollable go wrong at the last minute? I guess I wasn’t so different from the big brass. I hadn’t even considered the risk to Harry and his crew, just what I needed to get done. It didn’t feel good. The only difference was I was here, and about to go ashore in enemy territory just under the Arctic Circle. When the brass felt bad they sat back in their big leather chairs, lit up a cigar, and cursed at junior officers. It was like my dad always said: a rich guy can have the same problem we do, but he can smoke a dollar cigar in a nice big house while he worries about it.
“Just like me,” I replied. I started looking for floating logs, but gave up when I realized there wouldn’t be time to say anything before we hit. Higgins scrambled up to the bow and strained his neck forward, keeping watch as Harry had instructed.
“Good lad, Higgins,” he said, nodding toward the young crewman. “Worked on river barges on the Thames before he came to us. He’s been through the worst of the Blitz, but this is just his third mission with us. He’s a little nervous. I thought giving him something to do would help.”
“We don’t really need to worry about big logs?”
“Only if worrying would help. Otherwise it’s best not to think about it.”
Harry gave me a grin and a quick wink. The more I tried not to think about logs in the water, the more I imagined them bobbing along in front of us. I looked up instead. I could see the top of the mast.
“Harry…”
“I know, Billy.” It was getting even lighter and warmer as the sun gained on the fog and started to burn it away. I could feel the humidity in the air now; the breeze wasn’t as cold.
“Action stations!” yelled Harry. Men donned helmets and those without life jackets put them on. Someone handed me a life jacket and one of those flat British helmets. I thought of a picture of my dad and uncles from the First World War. I tried not to think about their brother wearing one of these helmets, who hadn’t made it back, or about those boys who’d been on the destroyer with Diana.
Several crewmen came up bringing two Bren guns and a box of ammo. They made their way to the stern, past the 20mm Oerlikons mounted amidships, and settled into each corner above the engines with their machine guns.
“We like to discourage pursuit as much as possible,” said Harry. “You’d better get ready, Billy. There may not be much time if things heat up.”
He didn’t need to tell me twice. I went below and put on the winter parka I’d been issued at Southwold. I got my gear and the Thompson and then headed back above deck. With the life jacket on over the parka, I could barely move through the narrow passageway. But I was relying on the life jacket to keep me afloat if it came to that.
Back on deck, it was a lot brighter still. I put a clip into the Thompson and worked the bolt. I didn’t know if the Jerries would get close enough for me to use it. It was probably useless, but I didn’t have much else to offer.
“If I’m right,” said Harry, “we’ve about fifteen minutes more cruising time. Then we turn due east and head in for Tomma. That will keep the island between the mainland and us. We’ll have to slow down to muffle the motors. When we get close enough, we’ll launch one of the surfboats, and two of the lads will paddle you in. You may have to get your feet wet. I’ve told them to toss you over as soon as they see bottom.” He was smiling, but he wasn’t kidding. I looked up and didn’t blame him. The sky was blue.
“OK.”
Fog was still rising off the water. Maybe we wouldn’t be visible from the air, maybe we would. Anyway, we wouldn’t have the fog much longer. By the time Harry turned east, visibility was about fifty yards. He slowed and the engines went from a roar to a low throaty growl. We churned up less of a wake as we cut across the water, and I guessed not announcing ourselves so clearly was worth the reduction in speed.
“Almost there, Billy. Enjoy the ride so far?”
“It’s been more than I bargained for,” I said, which certainly was true in more ways than one. “I’m going out by sub and-”
“Shut up, Billy! Don’t tell me how you’re getting back, you damned fool! What if we’re captured? Haven’t you heard that line ‘Ve half vays of making you talk?’ It’s true, you know. Drugs, torture, whatever it takes. Don’t the Yanks teach their agents how to keep their bloody mouths shut?”
“Sorry, it slipped out,” I said. “It was just a cover story anyway. Santa Claus is really coming down from the North Pole to airlift me out.”
“Saint Nick himself, eh? Not bad.”
Harry smiled readily, but I thought I detected a worried look on his face as he studied me. I could tell he was comparing me to previous British agents he had brought in. Experienced agents who knew how to keep their stiff upper lips firmly pressed against their lower ones. I knew the comparison wasn’t favorable.
“Ship! Two o’clock!” Higgins yelled as he pointed to the right. Moving away from us was the gray form of a small ship, maybe a trawler. As we drew closer and the fog thinned, several men at once spotted two more small craft, a larger one in front and another smaller one, behind. For a second all guns swiveled toward the three ships.
“Keep a good lookout there!” Harry yelled angrily. “This isn’t a sight-seeing cruise!” The gun crews and lookouts returned to scanning the horizon in all directions.
“Think they’ll spot us?” I asked.
“Too soon to tell. We’re very low in the water and they are moving away from us. Maybe not.”
“Is that a V-boat?”
“Yes. Being escorted by two E-boats. German patrol craft, much like ours.”
“Not as good as ours though?” I asked hopefully.
“Goes without saying, old boy!”
Harry was doing his best to keep everyone’s morale up. It worked until the line of three German vessels abruptly turned simultaneously, at about a forty-five-degree angle.
“Jesus! Did they spot us?” I really needed another morale boost.
“Damn!” Harry muttered. “No, but they soon might. It looks like they’re on maneuvers. Simultaneous changes of course under low-visibility conditions. Good practice for not bumping into each other. Very practical, those sodding Teutons!”