Birdman

Caffery pulled the cork on a bottle of Sancerre, sniffed it and turned the cork over in his hands to check it hadn't crumbled. He had retreated here for a moment of peace, and wasn't surprised when Veronica chose the same moment to come into the kitchen. She pulled a Tupperware container from the fridge, and when she saw he wasn't going to answer her, slammed the door loudly. 'You know who's funny?'

'No. Who?'

'I'm not being rude, Jack, but Marilyn. What a cow. I was having a really nice conversation with her husband, he's really lovely, and then for no reason at all she comes up and starts being really snotty, really iffy with me.'

Jack didn't answer. He knew exactly where Veronica was heading with this. She'd been in full-on martyr mode all night — gallantly traipsing through the house, carrying plates brimming with crostini, grilled peppers and tapenade, a sad, brave smile on her face. But what she really wanted was some attention, wanted a splash of trouble to make the evening complete.

'You're not listening to me, are you?' She began spooning out hummus, tapping the spoon loudly on the edge of the bowl. 'I thought at least we were still friends, but now it seems we can't even have a conversation.'

'I'm not rising to this, Veronica.' He threw the cork into the bin and retrieved a bottle of Medoc from the cupboard. He had no more energy for her tonight. The party itself was a sacrifice — his time precious. Maddox couldn't know that here was one relationship which was beyond the good intentions of the DCS. 'I won't fight with you, so don't bother.'

'God.' She shook her head resignedly. 'You're so screwed up, Jack. You are so screwed up. I think you should see someone about it, I really do.'

'You're drunk.'

'Of course I'm not. Honestly, what a thing to say!' She slammed the bowl down onto a tray and suddenly her face was calm, as if absolutely nothing had happened. 'Now then.' She picked up a tea towel. 'How are we doing with the Piper Heidsieck? Did you take those bottles out of the freezer, they'll explode if you leave them in a second too long.' Casually she leaned over to the window, lifted the curtains on one finger, looking out as if searching for something beyond her reflection and tutted. 'Those kids.' She let the curtain fall. 'It's too late for children to be up. They'll come to no good out there, mark my words.'

* * *

The night was warm and the French windows were open but perhaps the guests, like the storm flies gathering above the halogen lights on the patio, sensed the weight of rain in the sky: only the children were using the garden. The adults stood inside, grouped in polite little clumps, balancing plates and glasses, occasionally looking up to check their reflections in the windows. No-one breathed a word about the case, even when the children were out of earshot, as if a mere whisper might bring poison through the doors. Caffery, Sancerre in one hand, Medoc in the other, orbited the room filling glasses, stopping to allow Kryotos to feed him a triangle of nan bread.

'Jack—' She checked quickly over her shoulder and lowered her voice to a whisper. 'Jack, your chum Cook? Is he still in the frame? It's just you didn't come back to me and—'

'Oh shit.' He tried to wipe his mouth on the back of his hand without spilling the wine. 'Shit, I'm sorry, Marilyn, I'm sorry — I got started on something else. I completely forgot.'

'He's booked on an Air India flight out of Heathrow at fourteen-hundred hours tomorrow. I could get on to India Delta division for you.'

'No. Let him go. He was just, I dunno, me clutching at straws I s'pose.'

She put her plate down and held her glass out for a refill. 'OK, but if you change your mind—'

She broke off. Her small daughter, Jenna, had hurtled into the room from the garden, and crunched herself up against her mother's legs, squealing and shaking her head. 'Mummy! Mummy!'

'What is it?' Marilyn bent down. 'Tell Mummy.'

'Summonindagardin.'

'Someone what?'

'Monsty.'

'Jenna.' Kryotos took her daughter's tiny, balled-up hand and shook it lightly. 'Speak properly, please.'

'Monsty in in—' She stopped for a breath, staring back over her shoulder into the garden. 'In the garden.'

Kryotos looked up at the others and rolled her eyes. 'Wouldn't you know it, we're just getting comfortable and now there's only a monster in the garden.'

''S true, Mum.' Dean, Jenna's older brother, appeared in the French windows, his face as white as the moon. 'We heard it.'

Kryotos coloured. 'Dean, now don't mess around. I've warned you.'

'Honest.'

'Dean!' She held a finger up. 'That's enough.'

'Tell you what, Jenna sweetheart.' Maddox rolled up his sleeves with the soft gravitas of someone who remembered vividly being the father of small children. 'How about me and my policemen go outside and arrest the monster? You'll have to tell us exactly what sort of monster it is, of course. So we know how to handcuff him.'

'Don't know what sort it is,' Dean said solemnly. 'We didn't see it, we heard it. Walking about in the leaves.'

'Oh, that's all right, then.' Essex heaved himself out of his chair. 'It's probably just one of them invisible compost-heap monsters.'

'Maybe,' Dean agreed seriously.

'We deal with stacks of them every day in the police. Even your old mum could take one of those out with her hands tied behind her back.'

'NOOOOOO!' Jenna wailed, gripping her mother's skirt, small feet tattooing on the floor. 'Mummeeee stay!!'

Kryotos stroked Jenna's head. 'Mummy'll stay. Look. The police are going to make sure monsty's gone.'

'MONSTER BUSTERS!' Essex sprang from the patio, dropped onto the lawn in a warrior crouch, hands tensed like blades, eyes narrowed, a thin keening coming from the back of his throat. 'Mon-STAR meet Suzi Wong, flower of the Orient and great Doshu of the Way of the Lotus, mistress of the secret dislocation technique kan' — punch — 'set' — punch — 'su' — punch — 'waza!'

On the patio a ghost of a smile flickered over Dean's face.

'I stroke without conscience. Ki-ai!'

Caffery, grateful for the distraction, put the bottles down on the windowsill and wandered into the centre of the garden as Essex corkscrewed his arms at the shrubs, throwing Kali-esque shadows on the lawn. Maddox followed, making a great show of beating the shrubs, checking under a clutch of Russell lupins, carefully brushing aside the weeping willow. 'Nope. No-one here!' he called. 'No monsters here.'

'No-one there!' Caffery relayed back to Jenna who risked peeling her tear-stained face away from Kryotos to plug her knuckles in her mouth and stare tentatively out into the garden.

Essex executed a few step-punches, surprisingly agile for his size. 'Suzie Wong say LUN FOR YOUR RIFE, MONSTER.'

Jenna smiled shyly around her finger and dropped her forehead back against Kryotos, not fear this time but little girl coyness, the smile twitching the edges of her cheeks. 'Suzie's a girl's name,' she snuffled. 'Not a boy's. He's silly.'

'Isn't he,' Marilyn agreed.

'Munen mushin! Ki-ai, ki-ai!'

'Yeah, Ki-ai ki-ai,' Caffery echoed patiently, and climbed the steps back into the house smiling up at the faces grouped in the lit window. 'Don't you feel so much safer knowing we have men like Essex to protect society?'

Kryotos see-sawed her head to get a view of the garden. 'Now how on earth has the old sod done that?'