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THE COMMITTEE ON PUBLIC MORALS

The Senate met in Sacramento city; On public morals it had no committee Though greatly these abounded. Soon the quiet Was broken by the Senators in riot. Now, at the end of their contagious quarrels, There's a committee but no public morals.

CALIFORNIA

The Chinaman's Assailant was allowed to walk quietly away, although the street was filled with pedestrians.

Newspaper
Why should he not have been allowed To thread with peaceful feet the crowd   Which filled that Christian street? The Decalogue he had observed, From Faith in Jesus had not swerved, And scorning pious platitudes, He saw in the Beatitudes   A lamp to guide his feet. He knew that Jonah downed the whale And made no bones of it. The tale   That Ananias told He swore was true. He had no doubt That Daniel laid the lions out. In short, he had all holiness, All meekness and all lowliness,   And was with saints enrolled. 'Tis true, some slight excess of zeal Sincerely to promote the weal   Of this most Christian state Had moved him rudely to divide The queue that was a pagan's pride, And in addition certify The Faith by making fur to fly   From pelt as well as pate? But, Heavenly Father, thou dost know That in this town these actions go   For nothing worth a name. Nay, every editorial ass, To prove they never come to pass Will damn his soul eternally, Although in his own journal he   May read the printed shame. From bloody hands the reins of pow'r Fall slack; the high-decisive hour   Strikes not for liars' ears. Remove, O Father, the disgrace That stains our California's face, And consecrate to human good The strength of her young womanhood   And all her golden years!

DE YOUNG—A PROPHECY

Running for Senator with clumsy pace, He stooped so low, to win at least a place, That Fortune, tempted by a mark so droll, Sprang in an kicked him to the winning pole.

TO EITHER

      Back further than       I know, in San Francisco dwelt a wealthy man.       So rich was he       That none could be Wise, good and great in like degree.       'Tis true he wrought,       In deed or thought, But few of all the things he ought;       But men said: "Who       Would wish him to? Great souls are born to be, not do!"       One thing, indeed,       He did, we read, Which was becoming, all agreed:       Grown provident,       Ere life was spent He built a mighty monument.       For longer than       I know, in San Francisco lived a beggar man;       And when in bed       They found him dead— "Just like the scamp!" the people said.       He died, they say,       On the same day His wealthy neighbor passed away.       What matters it       When beggars quit Their beats? I answer: Not a bit.       They got a spade       And pick and made A hole, and there the chap was laid.       "He asked for bread,"       'Twas neatly said: "He'll get not even a stone instead."       The years rolled round:       His humble mound Sank to the level of the ground;       And men forgot       That the bare spot Was like (and was) the beggar's lot.       Forgotten, too,       Was t'other, who Had reared the monument to woo       Inconstant Fame,       Though still his name Shouted in granite just the same.       That name, I swear,       They both did bear The beggar and the millionaire.       That lofty tomb,       Then, honored—whom? For argument here's ample room.       I'll not debate,       But only state The scamp first claimed it at the Gate.       St. Peter, proud       To serve him, bowed And showed him to the softest cloud.

DISAPPOINTMENT

The Senate woke; the Chairman's snore      Was stilled, its echoes balking; The startled members dreamed no more, For Steele, who long had held the floor,      Had suddenly ceased talking. As, like Elijah, in his pride,      He to his seat was passing, "Go up thou baldhead!" Reddy cried. Then six fierce bears ensued and tried      To sunder him for "sassing." Two seized his legs, and one his head,      The fourth his trunk, to munch on; The fifth preferred an arm instead; The last, with rueful visage, said:      "Pray what have I for luncheon?" Then to that disappointed bear      Said Steele, serene and chipper, "My friend, you shall not lack your share: Look in the Treasury, and there      You'll find his other flipper."