You sigh, knowing she means well and wants only what's best for you. But she doesn't understand: you need to keep busy, you need to distract yourself with minutiae so that your mind doesn't snap from confronting the full horror of losing your parents.
"I'm almost finished," you say. "Just a few more documents from the safe-deposit box. Then I promise I'll try to rest. A bath sounds… Lord, I still can't believe… How much I miss… Pour me a Scotch. I think my nerves need numbing."
"I'll have one with you."
As Rebecca crosses the study toward the liquor cabinet, you glance down toward the next document: a faded copy of your birth certificate. You shake your head. "Dad kept everything. What a packrat." Your tone is bittersweet, your throat tight with affection. "That's why his estate's so hard to sort through. It's so difficult to tell what's important, what's sentimental, and what's just…"
You glance at the next document, almost set it aside, take another look, frown, feel what seems to be a frozen fishhook in your stomach, and murmur, "God." Your breathing fails.
"Jacob?" Your wife turns from pouring the Scotch and hurriedly sets down the bottle, rushing toward you. "What's wrong? Your face. You're as gray as – "
You keep staring toward the document, feeling as if you've been punched in the ribs, the wind knocked out of you. Rebecca crouches beside you, touching your face. You swallow and manage to breathe. "I…"
"What? Jacob, tell me. What's the matter?"
"There has to be some mistake." You point toward the document.
Rebecca hurriedly reads it. "I don't understand. It's crammed with legal jargon. A woman's promising to give up two children for adoption, is that what this means?"
"Yes." You have trouble speaking. "Look at the date."
"August fifteen, nineteen thirty-eight."
"A week before my birthday. Same year." You sound hoarse.
"So what? That's just a coincidence. Your father did all kinds of legal work, probably including adoptions."
"But he wouldn't have kept a business affidavit with his personal papers in his private safe-deposit box. Here, at the bottom, look at the place where this was notarized."
"Redwood Point, California."
"Right," you say. "Now check this copy of my birth certificate. The place of birth is…"
"Redwood Point, California." Rebecca's voice drops.
"Still think it's just a coincidence?"
"It has to be. Jacob, you've been under a lot of strain, but this is one strain you don't have to deal with. You know you're not adopted."
"Do I? How?"
"Well, it's…"
You gesture impatiently.
"I mean, it's something a person takes for granted," Rebecca says.
"Why?"
"Because your parents would have told you."
"Why? If they didn't need to, why would they have taken the chance of shocking me? Wasn't it better for my parents to leave well enough alone?"
"Listen to me, Jacob. You're letting your imagination get control of you."
"Maybe." You stand. Your legs unsteady, you cross to the liquor cabinet and finish pouring the drinks that Rebecca had started preparing. "Maybe." You swallow an inch of the drink. Made deliberately strong, it burns your throat. "But I won't know for sure, will I? Unless I find out why my father kept that woman's adoption agree-merit with his private papers, and how it happened that I was born one week later and in the same place that the woman signed and dated her consent form."
"So what?" Rebecca rubs her forehead. "Don't you see? It doesn't make a difference! Your parents loved you! You loved them. Suppose, despite Lord knows how many odds, suppose your suspicion turns out to be correct. What will it change? It won't make your grief any less. It won't affect a lifetime of love."
"It might affect a lot of things."
"Look, finish your drink. It's Friday. We still have time to go to temple. If ever you needed to focus your spirit, it's now."
In anguish, you swallow a third of your drink. "Take another look at that adoption consent. The woman agrees to give up two babies. If I was adopted, that means somewhere out there I've got a brother or a sister. A twin."
"A stranger to you. Jacob, there's more to being a brother or a sister than just the biological connection."
Your stomach recoils as you gulp the last of the your drink. "Keep looking at the consent form. At the bottom. The woman's name."
"Mary Duncan."
"Scot."
"So?" Rebecca asks.
"Go to temple? Think about it. Have you ever heard of any Scot who… It could be I wasn't born Jewish."
Your uncle's normally slack-jowled features tighten in confusion. "Adopted? What on earth would make you think – "
You sit beside him on the sofa in his living room and explain as you show him the documents.
His age-wrinkled brow contorts. He shakes his bald head. "Coincidence."
"That's what my wife claims."
"Then listen to her. And listen to me. Jacob, your father and I were as close as two brothers can possibly be. We kept no secrets from each other. Neither of us ever did anything important without first asking the other's opinion. When Simon – may he rest in peace – decided to marry your mother, he discussed it with me long before he talked to our parents. Believe me, trust me, if he and Esther had planned to adopt a child, I'd have been told."
You exhale, wanting to believe but tortured by doubts. "Then why…" Your skull throbs.
"Tell me, Jacob."
"All right, let's pretend it is a coincidence that these documents were together in my parents' safe-deposit box. Let's pretend that they're unrelated matters. But why? As far as I know, Dad always lived here in Chicago. I never thought about it before, but why wasn't I born here instead of in California?"
Your uncle strains to concentrate. Weary, he shrugs. "That was so long ago. Nineteen" – he peers through his glasses toward your birth certificate – "thirty-eight. So many years. It's hard to remember." He pauses. "Your mother and father wanted children very much. That I remember. But no matter how hard they tried… Well, your father and mother were terribly discouraged. Then one afternoon, he came to my office, beaming. He told me to take the rest of the day off. We had something to celebrate. Your mother was pregnant."
Thinking of your parents and how much you miss them, you wince with grief. But restraining tears, you can't help saying, "That still doesn't explain why I was born in California."
"I'm coming to that." Your uncle rubs his wizened chin. "Yes, I'm starting to… Nineteen thirty-eight. The worst of the Depression was over, but times still weren't good. Your father said that with the baby coming, he needed to earn more money. He felt that California – Los Angeles – offered better opportunities. I tried to talk him out of it. In another year, I said, Chicago will have turned the corner. Besides, he'd have to go through the trouble of being certified to practice law in California. But he insisted. And of course, I was right. Chicago did soon turn the corner. What's more, as it happened, your father and mother didn't care for Los Angeles, so after six or seven months, they came back, right after you were born."