“Oh, really?” Tansy got a spoon and dumped three doses of sugar in her coffee. “Who would the authority be?”
“My mom. She misses little. I’m informed that while I was away the spark quotient between you and a certain Farley Pucket increased.”
“Farley’s barely twenty-five.”
“That would make you a cougar,” Lil said and grinned.
“Oh, shut up. I’m not dating him, sleeping with him, encouraging him.”
“Because he’s twenty-five? Actually, I think he’s twenty-six. And that makes him-good God-four years younger than you are.” In wild reaction-and with some theatrics-Lil pressed the back of her hand to her lips. “Horrors! You’re a cradle robber!”
“It’s not funny.”
Sobering, Lil lifted her eyebrows. She didn’t mind the embarrassed flush on Tansy’s cheeks-what were friends for if not to embarrass friends?-but she did mind, very much, the unhappiness in those big, dark eyes.
“No, apparently it’s not. Tans, you’re seriously unwrapped because you’re a few years older? If the ages were reversed you wouldn’t blink.”
“But they’re not, and I don’t care if it’s not logical. I’m the older woman. The older black woman, for God’s sake, Lil. In South Dakota. It’s not going to happen.”
“So no problem if Farley was thirty-something and black?”
Tansy pointed a finger. “I told you I didn’t care if it was logical.”
Lil pointed a finger right back. “Good thing, because it just isn’t. Let’s put that aside for a minute.”
“It’s key.”
“I’m putting away the key for a minute. Do you have feelings for him? Because I admit I thought it was just a little lusty deal. Long winter, close quarters, healthy, consenting adults. I figured the two of you just had a maybe-we-should-fool-around thing going. Which I was going to rag you about mercilessly because, well, it’s Farley. He’s sort of my honorary lit-brother.”
“See, you were going to say little brother.” Tansy shook her fingers in the air. “Little brother!”
“Key is put away, Tansy. Obviously, this is more than a you’ve-got-a-nice-ass-on-you-cowboy-and-I’m-looking-for-a-little-tussle.”
“I checked out his ass, sure. It’s my inalienable right as a female. But never with the idea of a tussle. What a stupid word.”
“Oh, I see, you never thought about having-insert stupid word-with Farley. Excuse me while I get the fire extinguisher. Your pants are smoking.”
“I may have speculated on stupid wording with Farley, but never with any intent to follow through. It’s another inalienable right.” Exasperated, Tansy tossed up her hands. “We both checked out the ass of Greg the Adonis Grad Student when he volunteered for a month last summer. We didn’t jump that fine ass.”
“It was fine,” Lil said, remembering. “Plus he had that whole six-pack ab thing going. And the shoulders.”
“Yeah. Shoulders.”
They both fell into reverent silence for a moment.
“God, I miss sex,” Lil said with a sigh.
“Tell me.”
“Aha! So why aren’t you having it with Farley?”
“You won’t trap me that way, Dr. Chance.”
“Oh, won’t I? You’re not having it with Farley because he’s not just another hot body like Greg the Adonis Grad Student. You’re not having it with Farley because you have feelings involved.”
“I…” Tansy opened her mouth, then hissed. “Damn it. Okay. All right, I do have them. I don’t even know how it started. He’d come around to help out sometimes, and sure I’d think, Cute guy. He is a cute guy, and sweet. Cute and sweet and funny, so we’d talk or he’d give me a hand, and somewhere along the line I started feeling this buzz. He’d come around and, whew, lots of buzzing in there. And… well, I’m not stupid, but an experienced woman of thirty years.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“I caught the way he’d look at me. So I knew he had the buzz going on, too. I didn’t think much of it at first. Just: What do you know, I’ve got the hots for the cute cowboy. But it wouldn’t go away, and it got buzz ier. Then last week, the bad day,” she said, and Lil nodded, “I was feeling sad and sorry, and he sat with me. He kissed me. I kissed him right back before I realized what I was doing. I stopped, and I told him it wasn’t going to happen again. He just kept grinning at me. He says, and I quote, he’s got ‘a powerful yen’ for me. Who talks like that? It’s put me in a mood.”
She dug for another cookie. “I can’t get that damn grin out of my head.”
“Okay. You’re not going to like what I have to say, but…” Lil put her index finger against her thumb, and flicked it sharply dead center of Tansy’s forehead.
“Ow!”
“Stupid. You’re taking the path of stupid, so get off of it. A handful of years and a skin color aren’t reasons to turn away from someone you care about, and who cares about you.”
“People who say skin color doesn’t matter are usually white.”
“Well, ow right back at you.”
“I mean it, Lil. Mixed relationships are still difficult in a lot of the world.”
“News flash. Relationships are still difficult in all of the world.”
“Exactly. So why add layers to the difficulty?”
“Because love’s precious. That part’s simple. It’s getting it and keeping it that’s hard. You’ve never been in a serious relationship.”
“Not fair. I was with Thomas for more than a year.”
“You liked, respected, and lusted for each other. You spoke the same language, but you were never serious, Tansy. Not this-is-the-one sort of serious. I know what it’s like to be with a nice guy you’re comfortable with and never think of him as the one. And I know what it’s like to know the one. I had that with Coop, and he broke my heart. Still, I’d rather have my heart broken than never look and know.”
“You say that, but you’re not the only one with theories. Mine is you’ve never gotten over him.”
“No, I never have.”
Tansy lifted her hands. “How can you handle it?”
“I’m still figuring that out. The bad day was, apparently, a day for a shift in status. He brought me chicken and dumplings. And he kissed me. It’s not a buzz with me, Tansy. It’s a flood, that pours in and fills me up.” She laid a hand on her heart, rubbed. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. If I sleep with him again, will it help me tread water until I can finally get to solid ground? Or will it just take me under? I don’t know, but I’m not going to pretend the odds aren’t strong that I’ll be finding out.”
Steadier for having said it out loud, Lil set her mug down, smiled. “I’ve got a powerful yen for him.”
“You’re-what was your word? Unwrapped. You’re unwrapped over the man who walked away from you and broke your heart. And I’m unwrapped over a farmhand with a rubber-band grin.”
“And we’re the smart girls.”
“Yeah. We’re the smart girls,” Tansy agreed. “Even when we’re idiots.”
COOP WORKED WITH the pretty buckskin mare he’d trained over the winter. She had, in his estimation, a sweet heart, a strong back, and a lazy disposition. She’d be happy to snooze in the stall, paddock, or field most of the day. She’d go if you insisted, if she was sure you really meant it.
She didn’t nip, she didn’t kick, and she would eat an apple out of your hand with a polite delicacy that was undeniably female.
He thought she’d do well with children. He named her Little Sis.
Business was slow in these last stubborn weeks of bitter winter. It gave him time-too much of it-to catch up on paperwork, clean the stalls, organize his new home.
And think about Lil.
He knew she had her hands full. Word got back to him through his grandparents-from her parents, from Farley, from Gull.