"You were?" He sits up and furrows his eyebrows. "So its his?"
"No," I sigh, "Well, I don't know."
"You don't know if the kid is mine or some crazy psychopaths?" The anger rises in his tone. "Ana, tell me right now that you were lying to him."
He looks at me with a flared nose and watering eyes.
"I told him that it was his so that he didn't murder either of us!" I say back with desperation. "Please try to understand."
"I was so excited to meet my son," the tears begin to drip down his cheek. "And now I don't even know if he is my son."
"I know," I say. "I'm so sorry."
"Sorry doesn't even cover the surface, Ana," he cries out. "This guy has physically hurt both you and I and you want me to raise his child?"
"He told me was going to come back for the baby," my face reflects his and tears begin to fall "I don't want my baby to get hurt. I need you."
He is conflicted. I completely understand why. If I could just end this whole thing and tell him once and for all that it is his baby, then it would be ok.
"Please," I beg through my tears. "Please try to understand."
He sighs deeply. His eyes fix on the ceiling. I don't want to know his thought process because it probably isn't in my favor at this point. He turns his head and looks at me again.
"I do." The tears fall down his face. "I will help you no matter what because goddamnit Ana, I've never met a woman who is anything like you. So fuck you for your past. Fuck you for everything you've put me through and fuck you for being so convincing."
He leans forward and kisses me firmly.
"We need to get the hell out of here." He demands.
I kiss him back. My brain is blank. I have no idea how to respond other than to accept his love and hope for the best.
God. Help me.
PART THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: THE SHALLOWS
Everytime I walk into the house, I bump into yet another piece of furniture. Anything that is short than my knees will not be seen. The six inches of stomach that protrude in front of me make sure of that. It makes it even more difficult seeing as this house is much too new. I don't why we waited until I was 7 months pregnant to rent it. I am just happy that in the time between our move, no run-ins happened with Kane.
I trudge through the dark room, trying to find the light switch. I have resorted to tracing along the perimeter of the wall, my hand sliding up and down like a blind man. After my first lap, I get restless. I keep walking forward until my calves bang on stray trashcan.
"Goddamnit!" I kick it in frustration. For a blind kick. it is actual decent, seeing as the trashcan makes it halfway across the room.
"Are you ok?" I hear Noah. He peers out of the doorway. I can't quite make out his face. He reaches over and flips the light switch.
"There it is!" I say exacerbated.
He chuckles and walks over to me. He hugs me from behind and nuzzles his head into my neck. I look around the room. Large windows echo the darkness outside. I am sad that we left Boston. I always wanted to leave but now that I have, a part of me wants to go back. I know that is faulty logic. I wish we were closer to Tabitha. Margaret is almost three now and if her and my son were friends, it would repeat the Grenish - Henderson cycle. If Tabitha hadn't helped us, we wouldn't have been able to leave at all.
"Newton is cozy," Noah sighs pleasantly.
"Yeah," I agree reluctantly. I don't know why I have cold feet after all of this time.
We stand in silence, peering out of our living room window. Rain drops splatter on the fresh glass. It creates streaks on the otherwise clean slate. The rest of the room looks drab compared to the architecture of our new house. Noah's old living room set has just been copy and pasted into the room. I had no furniture to bring so it is still all Noah—except that both of our names are on the rent.
I feel a pinching grow in my stomach. It rapidly gets more intense. I wince. Noah feels me tense and pulls out of the hug.
"Are you sure you are ok?" He asks worried.
"Yeah, just some pain."
"Like pain, pain?" He grows worried.
"I mean, I don't th-" The pain burst and a stabbing pain erupts in my stomach. And yes, a stabbing pain. I would know. I tense up again and groan.
"We need to bring you to the hospital"
"No shit, Sherlock."
We walk out of the door. Rain flushes down from the sky. Noah flags for a taxi. No taxis pass for longer than I had hoped. | One skids by and squeals to a halt. I can feel the rain soak into my shirt. The pinching has grown far past a stabbing. I can feel my whole lower body cramping and tensing.
I get in the taxi.
"Please make sure I don't have this baby in the taxi." I say to Noah.
His face looks just as horrified as mine.
"No promises."
The sweat is caked to my forehead. My whole body is aching. I feel like I have been ripping apart from the inside out. I pant still. The nurse walks over to me and hands me my brand new baby boy. He is wrapped tightly in a blue blanket with a pink stripe. Noah sits next to me, beaming like the proud father he is. I take my son and hold him in my arms gently. A brown tuft of hair peeks out of the blanket. He smiles up at me with vibrant blue eyes. In his eyes, I see seas of beauty. I look at him and breathe in his life. He bring him up to my face and kiss him firmly on the forehead.
"I love you, Joseph." I say softly to the newborn. I feel so at peace.
"Joseph?" Noah asks.
"After my mother, Josephine."
I look at Noah, their matching blue eyes sing songs in my conscious.
"His eyes are blue now but I'm sure they will grow into their color soon," the nurse says with a faint smile.
"Wait, his eyes aren't actually blue?" I ask, the worry rising.
"They could be but seeing as yours are brown and his are blue, you won't know for a few weeks." she says.
I look back at Noah. My eyes full apologies.
"He's my son even if he is Kane's genetically." Noah says. He sounds confident but I'm not sure if he really is. I know he wants Joseph to be his.
We gaze down at our son. This is the closest thing to a happy family that I am ever going to get.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: THE OCEANS
I yawn loudly. The last couple of nights have been so sleepless that it would be a stretch to even call them 'a night.' I turn over and hold Noah firmly. His warm skin presses to mine and I feel relieved. I love being in love.
"The baby was really quiet last night," Noah mumbles.
"Mhm," I agree.
He begins to roll out of bed.
"I have to get to work. I'm on call at the station today." He sighs. He pulls himself to his feet and yawns widely. He stretches his arms out and I see a flash of the biceps that I have fallen so in love with.
He walks over to the crib and peers down with a smile. I turn away and bury my face in my pillow.
"Joseph?!" Noah's yell reverberates in the small bedroom.
"What?" My head snaps in his direction.
He turns back to me, Joseph's navy blue blanket in his bawled up fists.
"Kane." I lose all breath in my lungs. He took my baby. Noah managed to survive his wrath but my baby with his gorgeous blue eyes doesn't stand a chance. How did he know? Where did he go? My brain gets overwhelmed and I can feel the spiral begin. I can't control it.
Go back.
You can be a family.
I push out everything. I breathe or focus. I break down into tears. How much more is Kane going to hurt me until I am dead. I can't handle his torture anymore.
"I'm going to fucking kill him and there is nothing you can say that is going to change my mind." Noah spits. His grip around the blanket tightens and his fists turn yellow.