‘I’m sorry,’ whispered Tyballis.
‘There’s no need for that,’ Andrew said, holding out his cup for Casper’s brimming jug. ‘These have been useful days, after all. I have discovered a muster of highly talented musicians, evidently capable of many other varied and remarkable accomplishments. You call me a spy. If true, what better aid than an army of soldiers already experienced in crime and intrigue, and now prepared to adapt to the additional expertise of espionage. Indeed, wandering minstrels have excellent ears, and I often use them myself for uncovering, let us say, relevant facts.’ He raised his newly filled cup to the many eager crowding faces, and drank deep. ‘I thank all my willing apprentices.’ Then he nodded to Nat, again holding his cup high. ‘And I have also, it seems, acquired a package of Throckmorton’s secret papers, which will no doubt prove invaluable once I get around to inspecting them.’ He set his cup back on the table and turned instead to Tyballis. ‘And what is more,’ he said softly, so only she could hear, ‘I have passed one of the most delightful nights of my entire life.’
Chapter Thirty-One
‘You won’t go back to Crosby’s?’
‘Eventually I must, since I need the clothes from the garderobe, and many other matters are best dealt with there rather than here. But for the moment I stay.’
‘Because of me?’
‘Because of the others. When I do go, I may take you with me.’
She was curious. ‘You trust the others at last, then?’
‘I’m sure you know perfectly well that I do not. But they have proved themselves ready for the game. I ask for no commitment.’
‘Nor from me?’ She looked up at him. ‘And should I not – from you?’
The gales rattled the windows and rushed down the chimneys, the rain pelted again and the night was black and bitter. But inside it was as warm and snug as a squirrel’s nest. Across from the foot of the bed, the fire raged in swirls of bursting scarlet and as the wind gusted down the flue and caught up sparks and flying ash, so the flames fanned brighter as if from a bellows. Andrew Cobham lay spread across the tossed bedcovers, his head comfortable on the piled pillows and his eyes closed. He was quite naked and seemed unusually tired. Tyballis lay curled beside him, her head cushioned by his stomach. Her fingers ranged idly, tracing down the silky black hair that followed a fine and narrow line from his navel to the thicker hair at his groin. After a pause, he said, ‘Your breath is the most tempting warm breeze, and your fingertips are tantalising. If you wander a little lower, my love, you risk arousing too much. Make your choice.’
She obediently moved her hand. ‘You avoided my question.’
‘Purposefully.’ He squinted down at her and sighed. ‘It is not an easy question, little one.’ Andrew wedged himself up on one elbow, reached down and drew her up beside him, tucking her head into the curl of his neck.
She murmured, ‘Once you spoke to me of dalliance. I demand nothing, but I have never been used to – dalliance.’
‘Years ago I committed myself to my work and my master,’ Andrew told her, voice soft… ‘Nothing else has mattered to me for a long time. Commitment to any other cause would be a hard habit to grasp. I could marry, if I wished, but I would make a poor husband. For one thing, my work is dangerous. If I were killed, as I could be almost every day, my death might be held secret for some months out of expediency or subterfuge. My salary is spasmodic, my habit is to spend it back on my work, my free time is limited, and this house is ill kept, as I prefer it to be. I could offer you neither security nor domestic comfort, my love. But in any case, how could I offer marriage, even if I wished and even under such meagre circumstances, when you are already married?’
‘I never asked you for marriage,’ she said at once.
‘But you ask for commitment.’
‘I hated being married. Commitment is different. You’re committed to the Duke of Gloucester. You’re not married to him.’
Andrew chuckled. ‘I don’t sleep with him either.’
‘But you do sleep with Elizabeth,’ Tyballis sighed. ‘So, is this the same?’
‘If you can’t tell the difference, my sweet, then you’re sorely inexperienced.’ His hand moved to her breast, fingers gently wandering. ‘I’ll not criticise any woman I’ve known, at least not those I’ve known intimately. Some have come to me in affection, others simply for mercenary reasons, or begging sympathy and comfort. I’m fond of Lizzie. I don’t deny using her. I know she uses me. Do you think I’ve used you?’
‘Perhaps I don’t mind if you do. But if you sleep with me one night, and then Elizabeth the next …’
He sat up abruptly and stared down at her. ‘I’d be too damned tired.’ He frowned. ‘So, do you want me to kill your wretched husband, and marry you instead?’
She was startled. ‘Do you really think killing someone the easy solution?’
As finally the rain slowed and turned to freeze, the corners of the windowpanes outside began to frost. Tiny white crystals clung between glass and darkness, but inside, the bedchamber still glowed and gleamed in the firelight. Now, instead of her fingers, a moist glimmer of sweat collected across Andrew’s lower body. He leaned back again on the pillows and stared up at the high drifts of dust on the ceiling beams. ‘Why not?’ he said softly. ‘Life is only a temporary business, after all, and rarely fulfils its promises. I am no paid assassin, and have taken no one’s life without reason, but in defence of my own life, in defence of my identity and in defence of my cause I have killed and may again. When I die, some higher authority will surely challenge me for my sins, but for now I do what I must when I must.’
Tyballis stared at him. ‘You’ve – killed – people? The duke –’
‘In his service, yes. Though not on his orders. Doubtless he would not approve, since he believes in the law rather more strongly than I do.’
‘It’s a dangerous world, but to choose … if you mean –’
‘I mean I killed my first man when I was thirteen.’ Andrew smiled back at her, gathering her to him again. ‘But that’s another story, and not one for tonight. I’m tired, my love. You have my commitment, if that’s what you want. But one day when you change your mind and find me too difficult – or my immorality shocks you too much – then let me know and I shall adjust to your absence once again. In the meantime, iniquity can be exhausting. Does all that love-play not tire you, too?’
Tyballis mumbled, ‘It wakes me up and I’m not tired at all.’
‘Clearly I need to teach you how to share the load.’ One arm clasped her firmly to him, his hand on her back. ‘I have decisions to make in the morning, however. Sleep deep, little one.’ And he kissed her lightly on the forehead, once again closing his eyes.
The fire had died down and the winter sun was bright through the rimed window glass as he brought her light beer the following morning, and sat beside her on the edge of the mattress. He was again wearing the black brocade bedrobe, and this time it was tied tight. He said, ‘I intend seeing Throckmorton first. It would, of course, be most unwise for you to come. I will then attempt to see Lord Hastings. You cannot accompany me to court either, my love. Hastings would certainly recognise you and if we were to encounter Lord Marrott, it would be disastrous.’
He went straight from Portsoken to Crosby’s annexe and there he changed his clothes. He slipped a thin Venetian dagger down the side of his riding boot, his penknife into the lining of his sweeping velvet sleeves and his long sword into its scabbard at his side. He then ordered the bay hunter saddled, strode out to the sun-dappled stables, mounted the waiting horse and rode quickly west. He did not, however, approach Bradstrete and it appeared that, despite what he had told Tyballis, he did not intend visiting Baron Throckmorton at all. Instead he rode directly to St Paul’s.