Again, she cursed David Allinson for distracting her from the marriage to her husband, who did not deserve to have died, especially in the gruesome manner she, alone, was responsible for. She did realise that she was equally to blame as her lover and would live with the burden of her guilt for the rest of her life.
Selmira decided to stay in the apartment for the remainder of the weekend, cleaning, eating and sleeping. All it did was to emphasise how miserable and lethargic she felt at being on her own.
Chapter Nineteen: A time for Employment
On the Monday morning, Selmira determined that she had to find employment to give her an income and provide some form of purpose and company. She did visit a couple of recruitment agencies to register her details for possible employment. Her apparent lack of experience did go against her, reducing the chances of getting anything worthwhile. On the way back to the apartment, she called at the supermarket to do some essential shopping. As She entered the store, Selmira spotted a notice board and wandered over to read it. To her surprise and delight, she found an advert showing the store to be hiring new assistants. Before starting her shopping, Selmira called at the customer service desk and picked up an application form. In no hurry, she filled the form in while at the store and handed it to the assistant. She could imagine working in this large supermarket and really hoped that, for once, she may be lucky.
Selmira returned home with three heavy bags of shopping and determined to do enough to keep Ivanko to the very back of her mind. While out shopping, Selmira had bought three romantic paperback novels and was determined to immerse herself in their many pages. At first, she had considered reading some of Jackie Collins many successful books. When she realised how sexually-based her stories were, she decided to read Barbara Cartland’s books instead. Apparently, Cartland had criticised Jackie’s books because of the emphasis on sex, love coming a poor second in the stories. Selmira felt that Collins’ books may come a little too close to her own personal situation and she certainly did not wish to be reminded of her own infidelity.
She also purchased a couple of books by Jack Finney, remembering that somebody at the hospital had recommended his books. She bought ‘Time and Again’ and ‘From time to time’. She remembered how these books had been described as love stories combined with time travel. How she wished that she could go back in time and reverse the situation in which she found herself.
In addition to spending many hours reading, she also decided to bake some cakes. She felt in the need for some ‘comfort food’ to improve her mood.
A rich fruit cake infused with a generous helping of rum filled the apartment with a delicious aroma and Selmira looked forward to the time when it was ready for eating. She was not a lover of almond paste or icing, preferring just to eat the freshly-cooked cake.
The week-end was one of self-indulgence. Selmira immersed herself into enjoying good food, liberal quantities of alcohol, reading her new books and watching television. Unfortunately, by the time Monday morning arrived, her fear of the outside world had returned with a vengeance. It was a brilliantly-sunny day, yet her fears were stronger than ever. She remained in bed until late morning and then felt that she had to get up. Selmira had breakfast combined with lunch, showered and dressed. She did wonder just why she bothered, her resolve being at an all-time low.
Even so, she did make an effort and, by two in the afternoon, she was locking her apartment door as she sought fresh air and sunshine.
As she walked towards the stairs, a woman was just unlocking the door of her apartment, carrying a baby girl. Selmira could not help but smile at the baby, her large blue eyes following Selmira’s movements along the corridor. The smile on the baby’s face uplifted Selmira’s spirits and she asked, “What is her name?”
As the woman finished unlocking her door, she turned, smiled and said, “Angeline.”
“She’s very beautiful and seems so very happy. Hello, Angeline!”
“Haven’t you moved here quite recently?” asked the woman.
“Yes, only a few weeks ago. I like the apartments here.”
“Yes, my husband and I have lived here for three years, now and I would not want to move anywhere else. My name’s Karen.”
In reply, Selmira nearly gave her real name. “Sarah. Nice to meet you both.
As she was pushing the door open, Karen said, “Nice to meet you, Sarah. I’m certain we’ll meet you again, sometime.” Karen took hold of Angeline’s hand and waved it a little towards Selmira. The baby was still smiling, melting Selmira’s heart a little.
Neither of the two women knew of the fact that they would never meet again.
Chapter Twenty: A bright new day
The sun was shining brightly when Selmira stepped out of her apartment block, that afternoon. She had to admit that the weather did have a direct effect on her mood. For some unknown reason, she actually felt more secure and cheerful than she had felt for some time. This, together with meeting Karen and Angeline, did improve her spirit as she began her walk through the city. First, she called at the supermarket where she had applied for a job. She had received a phone call, asking her to attend an interview. Selmira felt that the supermarket must have been desperate for new staff, as she found the questions quite easy to answer and, even without mention of any previous employment, she still managed to be offered a position. Selmira was asked if she could start the following Monday, working in the stock control department. The work would involve checking if items needed to be reduced because of their ‘best before’ dates, counting stock at the end of the day and, on occasions, would also be asked to work on the check-outs. Peter, the manager of the stock control department seemed to be a very pleasant, cheerful man, who was, probably, in his mid-forties. He seemed very relaxed, giving encouragement to his soon-to-be new assistant.
This day felt even better, now that she had been offered employment, easing her mind about her need for future financial stability. Her income would be around fifteen thousand a year, plus occasional overtime. Although this was less than she had been earning in the x-ray department at Wythenshawe hospital, it would be sufficient to cover all her expenses and leave quite a bit spare for the occasional luxury.
It was with renewed confidence that Selmira walked through the streets of Birmingham, that Monday afternoon. To celebrate her new employment, she decided to eat in a good quality restaurant. Selmira took her time as she relaxed in the comfort of TGI Friday’s restaurant on Hagley Road. It was nearly six-thirty when she emerged back into the early-evening sunshine, feeling very contented from her expensive meal. Two glasses of wine had given her a warm, relaxed feeling without being too intoxicated to know what she was doing.
Selmira walked through the busy streets with a new-found confidence, watching pedestrians with a renewed interest, particularly the small children. How she wished that she and Ivanko could have had children of their own. If only this had happened, perhaps the two would still be living together and spoiling their own offspring. A boy and a girl would have been perfect and they would call them John and Jenny.
These thoughts swirling through her mind, she stepped onto a wide, busy pedestrian crossing. There were many people walking in both directions and, as she lifted her head to navigate her way through the mass of people, the blood ran cold through her veins as she stared in disbelief at those walking towards her. Every face was identical and with the unmistakable features of ivanko. Even the children appeared as miniature versions of her dead husband.