“There is the genome…” Allie grabs one of the three-dimensional DNA models from the shelf. “…and then the epigenome. Your genes are kind of like a musical score with all the different notes and instrument parts—the epigenome is like the annotation of how those notes should be played. They are chemical instructions that tell your cells what part of your DNA should be used and how much and when.
“Radiasure is the first and worst of its kind: a drug that acts like an epigenetic tag to control your genes. Originally it was supposed to turn off a human’s sensitivity to radiation, but the FDA approved it without enough testing or knowledge of epigenetics.” Allie stretches out the DNA model, frowning at it. “Scientists knew there was a risk that Radiasure’s epigenetic tag would transfer generation to generation, but since most of the tags don’t they took the chance. Everyone hoped that even if it wasn’t ultimately safe, the drug would only affect those who chose to take it. But it actually added an extra, permanent chemical to the epigenome. That’s why mutations are genetic, but we can’t predict what that tag will tell a person’s DNA to do.”
I can barely follow what she’s saying, but it seems like Seth grasps most of it. He puts his hand over his mouth, thinking. “So if you can get rid of the tag, you get rid of the rogue mutation?”
Allie nods. “That’s the idea. It may not work for every debilitating mutation, but even in those situations it should prevent it from being passed on. There are scientists that have known this for a decade, but they haven’t been able to do it because they don’t have merinite. I really believe that will make the difference.”
My heart pounds at her words, and I crave for this drug to be real right now. If it could take away whatever in me is stopping me from being visible, then every problem that’s haunted me my whole life would be gone.
Allie could save me.
“But how will you test it?” Seth doesn’t seem to be impacted by the amazingness of her work one bit. Probably because he has no interest in giving up his ability. “Give rats Radiasure until they mutate and then see if the drug works?”
Allie bites her lip. “We don’t have that kind of time, or enough Radiasure to do that. But we have a small group of volunteers within the Army forces here.”
Seth’s eyes go wide. “You’re testing on humans right away?”
“We don’t have much choice.”
Seth is saying something, but I can’t hear over my own thoughts. I might not have to wait years or even months…what if I could see myself next week? The idea makes my eyes water, and I say, “Can I volunteer?”
Seth and Allie stop arguing, staring at me in surprise. Allie takes a deep breath as she puts her hand on my shoulder. “Did you say you want to be part of the study?”
“No, she didn’t,” Seth growls.
“Yes,” I say at the same time. “Please. I need to be.”
Allie’s eyes glitter with excitement. “All the volunteers have more minor abilities. It would be amazing to observe the impact on what’s probably a very complex mutation. If you’re willing, I’m afraid I can’t say no.”
“I’m more than willing.” I’m desperate.
“First you throw away my one chance at getting the factory information, and now this?” Seth stomps away, slamming the door as he leaves. I know I should care, but I don’t.
Chapter 33
By the time the weekend rolls around, Lee Seol has gathered the necessary surveillance equipment from all over the country. We just have to pick it up under the interstate bridge, where the river has carved a gorge in the rocks. Despite her insistence that only she and I should go, Seth is determined to stay at my side. I wish I could say it was out of affection, but I’m pretty sure he thinks I’ll do something stupid.
“Why are you wearing clothes?” Lee Seol stuffs a dagger into her pants’ side pocket.
I glance at Seth, who has acquired a pair of brass knuckles from Carlos of all people. He knows the black dress is because of him. I need the barrier after how he reacted to my volunteering for Allie’s tests. “Last time I nearly froze to death. I can have this off in seconds if I need to.”
Lee Seol nods. “Fair enough. It’s colder at night here than I expected.”
“Are you sure we’re enough?” Seth asks as he zips up his black hoodie. “What if we get attacked?”
“A drop-off is supposed to be about stealth. No one will attack us if they don’t see us,” Lee Seol grumbles as she pulls her hair back.
“Given how things have been going with The Phantom, I don’t think it would hurt to have backup,” he insists.
Lee Seol gives him her stink face, which I’m starting to learn is what she does when she agrees but doesn’t want to admit it. I thought Juan’s guys would have gotten us back by now for knocking out their men, but two days have passed with nothing. The longer it takes, the more afraid I get for what they might be planning.
I shake the box of needles. “I’ll have these just in case. They might be tiny but they are lethal.”
“They kinda freak me out, honestly.” Lee Seol slips her arms through a backpack, which I assume is to carry the new equipment. “We just need to be careful is all. There shouldn’t be any problems.”
Miles, who sits on the couch, clears his throat. “Too bad you haven’t cracked that network yet. What if they know more than we think?”
Her glare doesn’t seem to scare Miles like it does me. “Oh, I’m gonna crack it. And I’m gonna find their hide-out and shut their power down for good measure.”
He smirks. “I can’t believe you haven’t gotten in yet.”
“It’s not my fault they got a better programmer!” she yells.
“Actually, it probably is your fault.”
“Shut up!” She throws a pillow at him. Then they’re making out. Lovely.
“Guess we’re not the only ones who do that,” I mumble to Seth. He pretends not to hear me. I shove him. “Did you hear that? Or are you deaf now?”
“Just because I hear you doesn’t mean I have to reply. Not like you ever listen to me.” He slips his fingers into the brass knuckles, not a single wisp of teasing in his voice. I’m starting to feel like we’ve gone back to that first day I met him, when he made me angry and confused and scared all at the same time.
I wait for his eyes to meet mine. When they do, my heart twists.
“What?” he asks.
“Can you give me my boyfriend back? I miss him.”
Seth looks away from me. “Only if I can have my girlfriend back, because I’m not sure I recognize her anymore.”
“What do you want me to do? Give up the things I want in favor of what you want for me?” I lower my voice to a whisper, though Miles and Lee Seol are surely too occupied to overhear. “I know you don’t like the risks I’m taking, but can you at least respect that it’s my choice and maybe you can’t understand why I need to do what I’m doing?”
Seth folds his arms. “Then explain it to me. Because I’d really like to know the logic behind taking a drug that could do who-knows-what to you—death included.”
It’s been a long time since he’s spoken to me like this, and instead of making me mad it just makes me want to cry. “I have explained it to you. Over certain drawings you hate to do. At your dad’s office when you kicked me out. It’s not my fault you don’t want to hear it.”
Before he answers, Lee Seol is standing in front of us again. No embarrassment in sight. “Okay, now I’m ready to go. Maybe you two should kiss, too. You’re tense. Tense is bad for secret missions.”
“We’ll be late if we don’t hurry.” Seth heads for the door. I follow, since I couldn’t have said it better myself.