“Not yet,” he said. His voice was level. Was she imagining it was also grim?
Lily looked at Arjenie next. “Have they told you about her?”
“I don’t know what her you mean.”
“That means they haven’t. I’ll give you … let’s call it the cover blurb of the CliffsNotes version. You can ask questions later. When lupi refer to her—sometimes known as the Great Bitch, though that’s unfair to female dogs—they mean the Old One they were created to oppose. We don’t use her name, any of her names, because she’s reputed to be able to hear it. She is powerful beyond our understanding, so it’s a good thing she can’t reach into our realm directly. For something around three thousand years she’s been penned up, or weakened, or busy elsewhere. We don’t know, but she hasn’t been meddling here. Until last year. She was behind the hellgate the Azá tried to open. You’ll know about that. She also tried to send me to hell, and partly succeeded—”
“What?” Arjenie exclaimed. “I didn’t—”
“You didn’t hear or read anything about it, and you won’t. Ruben knows the story, but it’s not in the Bureau’s files. She suffered a setback there, but we have reason to think she may have made one of the lords of hell into her avatar.”
Arjenie’s heart beat too fast. Her mouth was dry. In a small voice she said, “Old Ones are real? And this one …” She looked at Isen. “This is who you think is behind the attacks on Ruben and Lily?”
He smiled gently. “Oh, yes.”
Lily looked at her again. “You’ll have questions. I’m asking you to hold them for later. You said Friar can’t Listen here at Clanhome.”
Baffled, Arjenie nodded.
Lily looked at Isen. “That’s why you’re convinced she’s involved, isn’t it?”
He spread his hands. “I can think of no other reason Friar’s Gift would be blocked here. Can you?”
“Son of a bitch,” Rule said suddenly. One of his hands rested on the table. It fisted. “Of course.”
Benedict leaned closer to Arjenie and spoke softly. “She isn’t omniscient, but she’s clairaudient and clairvoyant even across realms. She can hear or see what happens on Earth, but not around lupi. Our nature blocks her. If Friar’s Gift came from her, it would explain why he can’t Listen here.”
“This is not established fact,” Lily warned them. “Maybe she has recruited Friar. It fits what we know, but we don’t know much. We haven’t confirmed that Friar is a Listener or that he can’t eavesdrop here.”
Arjenie squirmed. She so wanted to tell them. “That’s—it’s just—” Too much. She shoved to her feet. “Excuse me. I need a minute.”
FEAR comes in many flavors. Tonight’s flavor was bitter with a twist of misery. She left the table, not caring where she went—just away, someplace where she could be terrified in private.
Someplace turned out to be the kitchen. But it didn’t work. She stood at the kitchen counter with her arms wrapped around herself and somehow, even without looking, she knew Benedict had followed her. Her heart fluttered with fear and other things.
They could all die. Benedict, too. She couldn’t stand it. “You’re talking about an Old One,” she whispered, not turning to face him. “That’s like a little g god. An Old One who’s out to get all of you.”
He stopped close enough for her to feel the warmth from his body along her back. Two big hands came to rest on her shoulders. They were even warmer. “We don’t have to stop her. She can’t come here or act directly. We only have to stop her agents.”
“Only? It’s scary. Why is everyone so calm? Isen keeps smiling. Why would he smile like that?” Her breath huffed out. “I hate being scared. I hate being a coward.”
Benedict chuckled. She wrenched around to face him. “You’re laughing.” She wanted to hit him.
He kept on smiling. “A coward who invades Friar’s land in spite of armed militia goons. One who invades lupus territory the next night—and I can promise you, most people are more afraid of us than they are of any human, with or without guns. A coward who doesn’t want me to make a big deal about the chance that evil elves might try to kidnap her so they can bleed and breed her.” He wound one of her curls around one finger. “Such a coward.”
“I’m used to the possibility of being grabbed,” she said, “and it’s never happened, so I’m careful, not terrified. But I was scared the whole time I was sneaking around. More scared at Friar’s because I was pretty sure you lupi wouldn’t kill me, but I was scared here, too, even though I knew no one could see me. Though it turned out you could, and I don’t understand that, but I didn’t know that and I was scared anyway. And I know that courage is supposed to be acting in the face of fear, not the lack of fear, but no one at that table just now was quivering with terror. Lily’s been shot and she wasn’t shaking. I am.” She held up one hand and showed him.
He took her hand in both of his. Wordlessly he began rubbing it, as if fear were a cramp he could dispel.
It worked. She stared at him in astonishment. “How did you do that?”
“I dislike fear, too,” he murmured. “I dislike the way it feels. I dislike the way it tries to control me. But a large part of fear is physical. It’s possible to learn how to control some of the physical aspects.”
“But I haven’t learned how to do that. How can you—”
“Later.” He brushed her shoulder with his fingertips—just her shoulder, and she barely felt it through her clothes. Yet that simple touch brushed heat through her. “I owe you a full explanation, but later. Lily wants to ask you some questions.”
THIRTY-ONE
WHILE they waited for Benedict and Arjenie to rejoin them, Lily took another cup of that coffee Isen had been waving around. And argued with Cullen.
“In learning mindspeech,” Cullen insisted, “you must have learned how to turn off the main function of your Gift.”
“No.” Lily looked over her shoulder. Benedict and Arjenie came in, holding hands again. Well, she knew how comforting that could be, and it looked like Arjenie needed the comfort. She was still pale. “You okay?”
“No,” Arjenie said, circling the table to return to her chair. “I mean yes, I’m okay in the not-falling-apart sense, but I might fall apart again.” She sighed. “There’s a reason I never tried to be a field agent. Even if I could have made it through the training with my …” She shot Benedict a glance. He was holding her chair for her. “With my physical limitations, I wouldn’t have been a good agent. I scare too easily.”
“It would have been a waste,” Cynna announced. “You’re a top-notch researcher. You love research. Why would you want to be an agent?”
Arjenie smiled ruefully and sat. “Why did you?”
“I didn’t. I wanted to help people. To Find people who were missing. The rest just sort of happened.”
Lily waited until Benedict sat, too, then said, “Arjenie, I want to try to do the mindspeech thing again. Or kinspeech. Whatever we call it, it’s pretty intrusive. Are you willing?”
“Do you think it’s safe?”
“We were just talking about that.” She glanced at Cullen. “There’s a problem with both the theories I’ve heard. They don’t explain how something magical could affect me in the first place.”