“I will thank you to keep a civil tongue in your head,” Adolphina Luce said. She was bent over Club Caine, who was in a chair, stripped to the waist. “There is a lady present.”
Seamus almost asked, “Where?” but bit it off. He stared at the dead dove, then at what was left of Paunch Stevens, then at Win Curry, who had his lips glued to a bottle and was as pale as a sheet. Chester Luce was watching his wife tend Club Caine’s wound. Seamus went over. “How bad is he?”
“I can answer for myself,” Club said. “The cur nicked me in the shoulder. In a month I will be as good as new.” He smiled broadly. “As you can see, he got the worst of our exchange.”
“I want details,” Seamus said. “You might be charged with murder.”
“Not bloody likely seeing as he shot first.”
“That’s true, Sheriff,” Chester Luce said, his voice squeaking more than normal. “If there was ever an instance of self-defense, this was it.”
“You and your damned stupid idea,” Seamus said.
Adolphina looked up, her washcloth poised. “I will not remind you again, Sheriff Glickman. I will be treated with respect whether you want to treat me with respect or not.”
Seamus, angry as hell, said to Caine, “How could you? I can understand Paunch. He never could think straight when his dander was up. But you I credited with more sense.”
“Thank you,” Club said. “But some things just need to be done. He was talking about me behind my back and insulting a lady of my acquaintance.”
“Hardly cause to kill a man.”
“Do you suffer insults?” Club asked. “From what I have heard, no, you do not. You are a fine one to cast stones.”
“Oh, hell,” Seamus said, and turned. Lafferty was hunkered by Paunch Stevens and furiously scribbling notes. “What are you writing?”
“Descriptions, while they are fresh and vivid. Half his head is missing! It is gloriously hideous.”
“The whole world has gone insane,” Seamus opined, and moved to the bar. “Give me a drink. I don’t care what so long as it is not water.”
Winifred Curry’s eyes were moist. “I liked her,” he said hoarsely as he slid a bottle across. “Liked her a lot. She and I were friends for years.”
“The whore?” Seamus said without thinking.
“Who else?” Win chugged more bug juice. “I swear, I am going to get so booze blind, I can’t stand up.”
“Before that happens, suppose I start with you. Tell me everything you saw, everything you heard. Leave nothing out.”
It took half an hour for Seamus to get the statements. When he was done he went out for a breath of air. The Mexicans and the Italian family were still there, and so were the Swedish farmer and his wife. “I trust you are all proud of yourselves,” Seamus said bitterly.
“I not approve,” Dolph Anderson said somberly. “To kill be very bad. My wife, she agree.”
“As do I,” Placido said.
“Then why didn’t you speak up when your idiot mayor came up with the idea?” Seamus asked.
“He is mayor,” Anderson said simply.
“Sí, senor,” Placido echoed. “He decides what the town does. I feed and rent horses and shovel their manure.”
In disgust, Seamus snapped, “Fools, the whole bunch of you. Because none of you have a backbone, one of your own has died.”
“I will miss Sally Worth,” Placido said. “She was always nice to Arturo and me. She had lived so much of life, she understood.”
“She won’t be doing any more living,” Seamus said, rubbing it in. He heard the batwings creak.
Frank Lafferty hurried to the hitch rail. He was grinning as might a kid who had just been given a long-sought present.
“You are lighting a shuck already?”
“If I want to make the next edition.” Lafferty swung up with all the grace of a lump of clay. He had to try twice to slide his other foot into the stirrup. “The paper will sell out.”
“It is nice to see you so broken up that two people have been killed,” Seamus said.
“Spare me your sarcasm, if you please,” the journalist replied. “I merely report events.”
“Report them? Or revel in them?” was Seamus’s rejoinder.
Lafferty was in too good a mood to let the criticism affect him. He hauled on the reins and slapped his legs and headed south in a swirl of dust.
“There are days I hate this world and everyone in it,” Seamus remarked. Suddenly he wanted out of there. He wanted to shed the whole sick, twisted affair. But he was not quite done. He went back in.
Club Caine was gingerly sliding into his shirt, with Adolphina’s help. The bandage she had applied bulged white against Club’s skin. “Still wearing that sour face, I see?”
“You would wear one too if you were in my boots,” Seamus said. “You don’t realize what you have done.”
“I have defended my honor and I feel wonderful,” Club declared.
“An innocent woman died, or doesn’t she count?”
“Since when do you care so much about worn-out hags? She was not much to look at, you must admit.”
“Club, I have always liked you,” Seamus said. “But that was cruel.” The devil of it was, though, Seamus knew the man was right. He never much cared what happened to others, and he did not much care about the whore. What he did care about, what bothered him most, was the fact that his tidy, orderly life had been disrupted, with the very real possibility of a lot worse to come.
“Suit yourself, Yank,” Club said. “Me, I am riding back to Dodge to find Harriet so we can celebrate.”
“The sheriff will want to talk to you. You might be called before a grand jury.”
“Whatever is required. No charges will be filed. Not under the circumstances.” Club rose and turned to Chester and Adolphina. “I believe I owe you some money.”
“Blood money,” Seamus remarked.
“Coffin Varnish officially thanks you,” Chester said as he accepted. Adolphina immediately took it from him.
“Who is going to pay for Sally’s burial?” Winifred asked. “I wouldn’t mind, her being my friend and all, but I wasn’t the one who shot her.”
“Already taken care of, my friend,” Chester said, and winked. “I went through the pockets of the deceased. He had more than enough.”
Seamus could not stop himself. “You people sicken me.” He walked out and forked leather and rode off without a backward glance. If he never saw Coffin Varnish again, it would be too soon, but he doubted he would be so lucky.
He was in no hurry to reach Dodge City. Hinkle would be furious, and he couldn’t blame him. A whirlwind had been unleashed, a tornado that could sweep all of them up in a vortex of unending violence. No, he told himself, not unending. There had to be a way to put a stop to it, to nip the stupidity in the bud. The county commissioners could weigh in. The governor should be notified. Before another month went by, a political deluge would rain on Coffin Varnish, rain on the heads of that butterball of a mayor and his bull of a wife.
Seamus couldn’t wait.
It was everything Lafferty hoped it would be.
The shooting was the talk of the town. The Times did indeed sell out, and the owner decided to print a second edition. The staff was astounded when that sold out as well. They debated a third and decided not to.
Lafferty’s boss was immensely pleased. “Keep this up and you will be the next Edison Farnsworth.”
That was fine, but Lafferty had higher aspirations. He was thinking of London, or maybe Paris.
The world was Lafferty’s journalistic oyster, provided Coffin Varnish went on inviting would-be killers to buck each other out in gore. The way Lafferty saw it, his career and Coffin Varnish’s notoriety were inextricably linked. With that in mind, he did not slant the story as he had told Glickman he would; he did not heap scorn and ridicule on Coffin Varnish. Instead, he discreetly implied that maybe, just maybe, Coffin Varnish was doing Ford County, and Kansas, a favor by offering itself as a killing ground. Lafferty wrote in his concluding paragraph: