‘Oh, okay.’
‘How long are we planning to keep at this?’ Abilene asked.
‘Aren’t you having fun?’ Finley asked. ‘Not every night you bump into a secret admirer.’
‘Don’t remind me.’
‘Maybe they’ll come back,’ Helen said.
‘Oh, please.’
Abilene found herself keeping watch, half-expecting the zombies to show up again, hoping they wouldn’t, but surprised and annoyed at herself when, some time later, she glimpsed a group of guys in the distance and felt a tremor of excitement. Which turned into disappointment when they approached and she saw they were a vampire, a hobo, a soldier and a Frankenstein monster. They were also younger than the zombies. And creeps. They blocked the sidewalk. The soldier raised his M-16 and ordered, ‘Halt.’
‘Oh, this is terrific,’ Finley said. Ignoring the soldier’s command, she stepped onto a neatly trimmed lawn, shouldered her video camera, and began to tape the episode by the light of the full moon and streedamps.
‘What’s she doing?’ asked the hobo.
‘Forget her,’ said the Frankenstein monster. ‘Look at these babes.’
‘I vahnt to suck your blood,’ said the vampire, leaning close to Vivian and wiggling his eyebrows.
‘Have a Three Musketeers bar,’ Vivian said. She reached into her bag.
‘Zee blood is zee life.’ His head darted toward the side of Vivian’s neck. She shoved him away. The soldier opened up, his M-16 clacking, spitting out bursts of water that splashed Vivian’s face.
‘Cut it out,’ Cora warned.
‘Oh yeah?’ He swung the muzzle of the automatic squirtgun toward her.
‘You shoot me with that, I’ll shove it up your wahzoo.’
‘Oooo, I’m trembling. I’m shaking.’
Cora took,a step toward him, and he backed away.
The Frankenstein monster, meanwhile, had wandered over to
Helen’s side. ‘Look at this,’ he said. ‘This babe’s dressed up as a sheet.’
‘I’m a ghost,’ Helen said.
‘No such thing as ghosts.’ He lifted the sheet. ‘It’s not a ghost, it’s a blimp!’
Abilene muttered, ‘Fuck you, Charlie,’ and shoved him off the sidewalk. He staggered backward, tripped on a lawn sprinkler and fell on his rump. The soldier opened fire on Abilene. Cold spurts of water hit her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks. Then the kid squirted her bare armpit and swept his weapon sideways. Her sweatshirt went cold and wet against her breasts.
She heard laughter.
Cora lunged forward. She ripped the M-16 out of the soldier’s hands and shoved its muzzle against his crotch.
‘Ow!’
Tat-tat-tat-tat-tat.
The vampire rushed Cora. Vivian slipped the broom handle between his feet. He yelped, stumbled past Cora and slammed the lawn at Finley’s feet.
The hobo whirled and ran.
The Frankenstein monster scurried up and went after him.
The soldier swatted the plastic gun barrel away. Clutching his sodden crotch, he staggered backward, blurting, ‘Leave me alone,’ as Cora pursued him. ‘Leave me… She stuck the muzzle into his mouth and pulled the trigger. He coughed as water flooded his mouth.
The vampire fled, his black cape fluttering behind him.
Cora shoved the M-16 into the hands of the choking, spluttering soldier. ‘Next time,’ she said, ‘be nice to people.’
The soldier twisted around and raced after his friends.
‘Good show!’ Finley called out. ‘Bravo!’ Lowering her camera, she came back to the sidewalk.
‘You were sure a lot of help,’ Abilene said.
‘Didn’t look to me as if you guys needed any assistance. Sure gave them a Halloween to remember.’
‘Dirty rats,’ Helen muttered.
‘Kind of fun, actually,’ Cora said.
‘He didn’t shoot you,' Vivian pointed out.
‘I sure shot him, though.’ She laughed. ‘Poor kid.’
‘Poor kid, my butt,’ Abilene muttered. ‘He soaked me.’ Bending over, she swung her pendulum out of the way and lifted the lower part of her sweatshirt. She dried her face with it, then wiped her wet armpit and rubbed her breasts. Deciding she would prefer to have the chilly dampness against her back, she pulled her arms inside and twisted the sweatshirt around before struggling into its sleeves. That did feel better.
Finley grinned at her. ‘Now you’re “The Other Pit and the Pendulum.” ’
‘A sequel,’ Vivian said.
‘Are we about ready to call it quits?’ she asked.
‘You don’t want to disappoint all the children who haven’t yet had the opportunity to enjoy the Merry Halloween Team, do you?’ Finley asked.
‘I could live with it.’
‘Most of the little ones ought to be heading for home before much longer,’ Cora said. ‘Why don’t we stick it out for a while?’
‘Those creeps’ll probably come back and egg us.’
‘They wouldn’t dare,’ Finley said.
‘Let’s give it a few more minutes,’ Cora said, and started walking.
As everyone followed, Helen laughed through her sheet. ‘Yeah, just a few more minutes. That’ll give us a chance to run into some real trouble.’
‘We should’ve gone to your all-night Shock Festival at the Elsinore.’
‘We’d gone to the movies, Hickok, you wouldn’t have met the love of your life.’
‘You and the horse you rode in on.’
Abilene discovered that, by walking with her spine arched and her shoulders back, she was able to keep the wet fabric from touching her skin.
They continued along the street, pausing each time they met kids. Block after block, Vivian handed out candy bars. When her bag was empty, Helen took over.
Though they came upon teenagers as well as little kids, nobody gave them much trouble. A few smart-alecks, but most of the trick-or-treaters were nice and none assaulted them with squirtguns or other weapons. Abilene found herself enjoying the encounters and was a little disappointed when she realized that they’d walked a full block without meeting any more kids.
‘I guess they’ve mosdy gone home,’ she said.
‘I’m getting low, anyway,’ Helen said, and shook her sack. She was carrying the last of the candy. ‘Should we start back?’
‘Let’s try one more block,’ Abilene suggested.
Cora grinned back at her. ‘You’re the one who wanted to quit.’
‘That’s when I was wet.’
They crossed a street. And Abilene saw, near the far end of the block, a group of three small kids run from a lighted porch, laughing, their treat bags bouncing and swinging. The children joined a woman waiting on the sidewalk. They hurried ahead of her and scampered toward the next house.
‘Hey, one’s a ghost,’ Helen said. She sounded very pleased.
Soon, they were close enough for Abilene to see that the other two were dressed as a kitten and a gremlin. From their size, she guessed that they were no older than five or six.
They were off at a house when Finley strode up to the woman and announced, ‘Hi! We’re the Merry Halloween Team!’
The woman laughed and shook her head. She had red hair and freckles. She didn’t look old enough to have three kids.
Maybe just one is hers, Abilene thought.
‘We’ve been going around giving stuff to the kids,’ Helen said.
‘Hey, that’s a great idea. Sort of like trick-or-treating in reverse.’
‘Just an excuse to get out and see what’s happening,’ Abilene told her.
The ghost, kitten and gremlin came running across the lawn.
They slowed down near the sidewalk. Then stopped on the grass. And stared.
‘It’s all right, kids. This is the Merry Halloween Team.’
‘With treats!’ Helen said. She bent over and reached into her sack. ‘It’s so nice to meet a fellow ghost,’ she said, smiling at the spook.
‘I’m not really a ghost. I’m Heather.’
‘Nice to meet you, Heather. I’m Helen. But I’m a real ghost.’
‘Oh, I bet you aren’t really. There’s no such thing. Is there. Mommy?’
‘If she says she’s a ghost, I guess she is.’
‘But I’m a very friendly ghost,’ Helen explained, and dropped a couple of Three Musketeer bars into Heather’s bag.