I gathered up the pictures and notes, sliding them into the file that was in nowhere near the pristine condition I had gotten it in. By that point, it had creases from my grip tightening on it and pen marks from loose pens rolling around in the drawer. The flap on the outside was crumbled and worn. It didn’t matter what the outside looked like, only that the inside could destroy everything.
Slipping the envelope into the drawer, I locked it and pocketed the key.
Tomorrow was my birthday, and as much as I didn’t want it, I knew my family would all be stopping by at some point to tell me happy birthday, but I wasn’t happy. I didn’t think at that point I would ever be happy again.
***
“Happy Birthday!” Kiera screamed for the thousandth time that day as she came up behind me in the kitchen, making me gasp and jump.
Tension already laced my body from the amount of well wishes and hugs I had gotten from family and co-workers. Even my dad had come by the office, and he had immediately questioned the tension in my body when he had hugged me. He had been really good when around other family by not asking, but he had today.
I had smoothed it over by saying it was work. I really didn’t think he had bought it, but he had let it go. Inside, I had wanted to scream at him, ask him if he’d done such a terrible thing and why. Ask him why someone was sending this to me, targeting me. However, I had done nothing of the sort. I had kept my mouth shut, and each time I did, I kicked myself in the ass later. I was smarter than that. Why was the fear so gripping that I couldn’t tell? Because I didn’t know who it was, and I had no idea if they would follow through.
“Shit, woman, you scared me.” I turned around to a perfectly made up Kiera, and her deep brown eyes laughed back at me like she was happy with herself for catching me off guard.
“That was the point. Is that what you’re wearing?” She eyed me up and down, her brown eyes gauging me.
I looked down at my body, noting the jeans and long-sleeved purple shirt with frills on it. I didn’t think I looked bad. “What’s wrong with it?”
“No way. Let’s go.” She grabbed my arm and led me to my bedroom, not that I protested since I really didn’t care.
She pushed me onto the small bench that sat in the closet. I looked around at all the designer clothes and the top-of-the-line business suits. None of it mattered. It was all stuff. My family was what mattered, keeping them all safe.
I hung my head for a second then quickly pulled it back up, not wanting Kiera to notice.
Kiera rambled on about my closet and how I needed to organize it by color, not paying any attention to my inner conflict. I ignored her words, waiting for her to pick out something so we could get this night over with.
“This!” she said way too happily. The smile on her face was so big it had to hurt her damn cheeks.
I smiled back, but mine was nowhere near her caliber.
“Stop it. It’s your birthday, and you are having fun. Snap out of this mood now!” She waved a black skirt that was probably way too short for my curves and a sapphire top that would wrap around my boobs, holding them up nicely.
I didn’t argue, only grabbed the clothes and changed right in front of her. I couldn’t hide my grumpiness. It was like a black veil draping over me, sucking every bit of life out of me. I couldn’t escape it, and I didn’t like this lack of control creeping up inside of me.
Pulling the skirt up, I groaned as it left nothing to the imagination. If I were on the prowl for some dick it would have been perfect, but I wasn’t. I had too much on my plate to worry about stupid orgasms.
I threw on the shirt, slipping my arms in the slots then tying it around my body. I used to love this shirt because Jag said it brought out the blue in my eyes. I even wore it a few times when we Skyped back and forth. Now, it was only a sad reminder of him and what could have been.
A low whistle came from my side. “Looking hot!” Kiera exclaimed, clapping her hands and jumping up and down like a school kid. This was going to be a long night.
***
After the car pulled up to some club, Scraper held the door open, nodding to us as we exited. Kiera latched her arm around mine and strutted to the front doors. She must not have seen the line that was stretched around the building, or if she did, she didn’t care.
The bouncer immediately recognized Kiera, flashing her a dazzling smile then waving us past the throng of irritated people waiting in line. Scraper and Dune followed close behind, their eyes watchful of everything around us.
Music blared through the building, making my eardrums rattle. My eyes had difficulty focusing because the strobe lights were in full effect, flashing anywhere and everywhere. Everyone around us looked as if they were going in slow motion with every move they made. Also, the laser lights were zipping past us fast, like we were in one of those spy movies or something. Every time one came near me, I wanted to duck for cover.
Kiera led us up to the bar where a man stood about six-foot tall with shaggy, blond hair that fell into his deep navy eyes. He watched as Kiera approached, a smile gracing his heart-shaped lips. She bent over, and he turned his head, giving his ear to her. He nodded, pulled away, and pointed to the side of the bar. Kiera hopped on her heels and said something else that I tried to decipher yet couldn’t.
She grabbed my arm again and looked at Dune, who came close.
“Over there,” she yelled, and he nodded, clearing a path for us to walk through the crowd. Most people got out of the way, but there was one in every bunch.
A man wanted to show his balls were bigger than Scraper’s and Dune’s. He was only about five-six, if that, but he was clearly intoxicated since he could barely stand straight, and his walking wasn’t much better. He tried grabbing my ass, but Scraper dealt with him so fast it was over before I got a full view of what went down. I shrugged and kept going.
Dune led us to a table in front of a large stage that was currently black as night. The black, rickety chairs were filthy, and I would be surprised if they held us up the entire night. Kiera and I sat next to each other while the guys sat behind us, guarding.
I stared into the blackness, silently wishing for this to just be over with. A waitress with blonde hair and pink streaks came to the table. She bent down, giving us a nice show of her boobs that were practically hanging out of her uniform, if you could call it that. It was barely two scraps of black fabric, but whatever.
Kiera ordered a pitcher of Jamaican Cowboys, my favorite. I’d had it at a restaurant once and fallen in love. It was coconut rum, peach schnapps, triple sec, and orange and pineapple juice. It sounded tame, but it gave a hard punch after the first couple drinks. The sweetness of the fruit combined with the kick of the rum exploded on my lips.
Good for Kiera. I was in the mood to drink, to forget.
The waitress came by, and I was not at a loss for drinks as Kiera kept my glass continuously full. When the lights dimmed, four decent looking guys stepped on stage, wearing the same black pants, bow ties, and black vests. The first was young, maybe twenty, with light skin and taut muscles. They weren’t defined, though still nice. The second was built and stacked with ab after ab, definitely spent time in the gym. His eyes sparkled green with mischief. The third guy was the damn bartender we had seen when we had first come in. His eyes darted to our table, locking with Kiera’s. Oh, shit. He smiled then turned to the crowd. The last guy had tattoos on one of his arms; his brown hair was cut short to his scalp; and he carried an aura of power. It was like he owned the stage, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. What was the harm in looking?
I downed more Cowboys, my body relaxing. For the first time in months, I felt everything begin to fade away, leaving me slightly calm. My head was a bit fuzzy, but I was still in the now.