“I know it’s late,” she said when he reached her, “but I had to talk to you tonight.”
“No problem.”
She motioned him to follow her inside. When he did, she closed the door behind them and faced him. “Max didn’t kill himself.”
“Okay. You have proof of that?”
“Yes.” She clasped her hands together. “Not exactly. I mean, you may not call it proof, but-”
“You’re convinced,” he finished for her. “And you believe you can convince me.”
“Yes.” She held out a hand. “Just hear me out, please. Two things.”
He sighed and shrugged out of his jacket. “Can we sit down? It’s been a long day.”
Without waiting for her response, he headed into the adjacent living room and sank onto the couch. He looked drained.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“For what?”
She spread her hands. “This. Calling you so late. Not considering that you might be tired.”
“Your tax dollars at work. Shoot.”
She took the chair directly across from his. “When I met Max,” she began, “I was struck with how content he was. How at peace he was with his life, even with his physical limitations.” She cleared her throat. “He showed me a photograph of his daughter and granddaughters. He called himself blessed.”
“Alex-”
“I can’t stop wondering, why would a man who described himself as blessed take his own life?”
“That’s the first thing?”
“Yes.” She laced her fingers. “Here’s the second: how’d he do it, Reed?” She leaned toward him. “He was weak. His hands shook so badly he couldn’t carry his own teacup without spilling.”
“You spoke with his daughter, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but-”
“I understand how difficult this is for her,” he said softly. “How difficult for you, because of your mother.”
“That’s not it.”
“I’ve seen suicides play out this way, over and over again, Alex. Family members never want to accept their loved one chose to take their life. It’s too painful. They feel it’s a personal rejection. Or somehow a reflection on how good a spouse, parent or in this case child they were.”
“No.” Alex shook her head. “Someone was at his door that night, while he was on the phone with me. I heard the doorbell ring. It wasn’t Angie. You need to ask the neighbors, maybe someone saw who it was. It could have been his killer.”
“Alex-”
“What about his doctor? Have you even spoken with him? Have you asked if, in their opinion, he had the strength to hang himself?”
She saw by his expression that he hadn’t. “You should, because I don’t think he could. Why would an old man like him choose that way to die? He’d do what my mother did, take a handful of pills and… I can’t stop thinking”-tears blurred her vision and she blinked to keep them from falling-“I can’t stop thinking that he was murdered because of me. Because of the ring. So I wouldn’t find out who’d had it made.”
He stood and crossed to her. “No.” He caught her hands and drew her to her feet. “It didn’t go down that way.”
“It can’t be a coincidence that just hours after he called me about it, he was dead.” Her voice rose. “He was so weird about it. He made me promise not to tell anyone we’d talked.”
He tightened his fingers over hers. “I promise you, Max Cragan was not killed because of you or your mother’s ring.”
“How can you be so certain? How?”
“There’s something I have to tell you. Something I just learned.”
She searched his expression. Something in it, some regret, had her backing away from him. “I don’t want to hear this, do I?”
“It’s about your mother. I’m sorry.”
Alex turned away from him, crossed to the fireplace. She laid a hand on the old pine mantel and breathed deeply through her nose, trying to calm herself.
She wanted to know, she told herself. Whatever it was, she could handle it.
“Okay,” she said softly, “what is it?”
“Max did design the ring.”
She turned slowly and met his eyes.
“It wasn’t a gift. Your mother had it designed for herself.”
She felt some of her tension slip away. “How did you find that out?”
“Some people who knew her well.” He looked away, then back. “I was interested in the ring because I’d seen the design before.”
“Where?”
“A tattoo. On the bottom of a man’s foot.”
Her heart leapt to her throat. Her father. Of course. It had to be.
“Who is he?” she asked, voice shaking. “Does he know about m-Of course he does. Was he married? Is that it? Is that why they couldn’t acknowledge each other?”
“No, Alex. This is difficult, so I’m just going-”
“It’s Harlan, isn’t it? It makes sense that he-”
He laid his hands on her shoulders. “Your mother initiated young men into sex. The sons of her and Harlan’s friends. Some of them were as young as fifteen.”
She stared disbelievingly at him. “What did you… you didn’t just say-”
But he had, she realized. She started to tremble.
“I’m sorry, Alex. Maybe you should sit down?”
She shook her head. “It’s not true.”
“The boys got tattoos afterward, in a vines and snake image.”
“No. You’re lying.”
“After Dylan disappeared, one of the boys went to his father, confessed everything. The fathers got together and ran her-and you-out of town.”
Alex felt ill. She brought a trembling hand to her mouth. “It’s not true. It’s not!”
“I got it directly from parties involved. Parties I trust.”
Her father had been just some guy her mother had fucked. She had always told Alex she didn’t know who he was; Alex had preferred to believe she’d been lying.
It hurt so bad she could hardly breathe. Everything she had ever imagined about her father and the past her mother kept hidden had just been shot to hell.
She lashed out at Reed. “That makes me, what? The whore’s kid? Not even conceived in love?”
“What she did or was has nothing to do with you.”
“What a joke my coming back must be to them all. I can imagine what they’re saying. How they’re snickering behind my back.”
“Why would they?” He tried to take her into his arms.
She fought against him. “No. No! Don’t touch me.”
Her stomach rushed to her throat and she turned and ran for the bathroom. She made it just in time, heaving over the commode, heaving until she was empty. And broken. The way she felt inside.
“I’m sorry, Alex,” Reed said softly from the doorway.
She flushed the toilet and stood. “Leave me alone.”
“Can’t do it.”
“Then hand me the mouthwash. It’s in the medicine cabinet.” He did and she rinsed her mouth and spit once, then again. “You don’t have to worry I’m going to freak out or something. I’m not.”
“I wasn’t worried. Sit.”
She flipped down the commode lid and did as he asked. He wet a washcloth and handed it to her. “Hold that on the back of your neck. You’ll feel better.”
She did as he suggested. “This is just great,” she said. “Simply fucking wonderful.”
“Feel better?”
“Than what?” She handed him the washcloth. “You’re calling my mother a whore. And a… my God, a child molester?”
“Technically, since the boys were all older than fourteen, it’s considered statutory rape or carnal knowledge of a juvenile.”
“I feel so much better now.”
“I’m sorry.”
She stood. “If you say you’re sorry one more time, I swear to God, I’m going to lose it.”
He let that pass. She stalked out of the bathroom and to the kitchen. An open cabernet sat on the counter. She poured herself a glass. “Want one?” she asked.
“I’d rather have a beer.”
“Sure. Help yourself.” She sipped the wine and made a face at the taste.