With my tongue, I traced the line I had just drawn with my finger. When I reached the inside of his thigh, he pulled me back up.
His gaze was so intense, it was practically smoldering, and then he buried his hands in my hair and kissed me with those lush lips. As our mouths moved, our bodies drew closer and closer still.
After a few minutes, he lifted me and as I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist, I felt movement swirl in my stomach. It was a feeling I hadn’t felt in a very long time and for one single moment, I thought about stopping this.
When he reached for the counter and grabbed a condom, I pushed the past back where it belonged, in the past.
He stepped toward the shower and opened the glass door, turning the water on and adjusting the knobs so just the showerhead sprayed.
Although I was certain Clementine couldn’t hear us, I was thankful for the added buffer of the water.
I’d never let her hear anyone having sex.
Two long strides and my back was against the wall.
“Hold on to me,” he commanded.
Without even flinching, I snaked my arms around his neck and watched as he ripped the condom open with his teeth. He tried to roll it on while still holding me at his waist, but it was an impossible feat.
“Dammit,” he said in a low voice.
I pulled back and looked at him. My mouth and throat went dry. He was all hard lines, chiseled abs, such a strong, lean body.
I shivered at the sight.
While the water lapped us, his hair fell forward. He looked incredibly sexy—unshaven, naked, and soon to be mine.
I couldn’t believe I was even thinking this way.
With the oddest urgent need, I dropped to my knees again and whispered, “Let me.”
His face was the epitome of seriousness as he handed me the condom.
My fingers were shaky when I took it, but I still managed to slowly roll it over his silky smooth shaft.
Once the condom was on, I couldn’t resist touching him. I closed my fist around his big cock and could feel it throbbing. With deliberately slow movements, I stroked up and back down.
He bit down on his lip and watched me. I was careful to keep one hand at his base and keep the condom in place.
Something erupted inside me when he thrust his hip forward. I was doing this to him. Turning him on. Making him feel good.
Oddly, I’d never really cared about anything like this before.
Feeling needy, I increased my pace.
He tipped his head back, thrusting his cock into my fist and letting out a muffled noise that made my body quake.
His hair in his face, the stubble on his jaw, the look in his eyes—it was all too much. My clit started to throb again and I wondered if I was going to orgasm without any manipulation.
I squeezed my eyes closed, unable to curb the overwhelming sensations washing through me.
“Hey,” he lifted my chin. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, unable to speak. I couldn’t find my breath.
He must have sensed I was on the edge or maybe he was, because he pulled me to my feet, took my hands in his, and raised them over my head. He held them in place with one hand and then guided his cock into me with the other.
Oh. My. God.
While his lips found mine, his mouth devoured me and his cock began to fill me.
A peaceful blissfulness washed over me. I was thirty years old and I had never felt this kind of passion. I honestly didn’t think it existed.
He pushed inside me slowly. A little at a time.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
Heaven.
“Oh, fuck, you’re so tight,” he moaned.
At first, alarm rose in my belly, but somehow I managed to push it away. My gaze flickered over his jaw, his hair, and landed on his smoldering eyes. Needy, I jerked my hips forward, urging for more, and suppressed the fact that he was talking.
He laughed and groaned at the same time. The one sound I knew I’d never forget. He pushed deeper and then again slowly withdrew.
My hands were bound and I wanted them free so I could reach behind him and push him all the way into me.
He was breathing hard and so was I, but we still kissed, opened mouthed, tongues touching, teeth clashing.
Logan dropped his hold.
Curious as to why, I peeked up at him.
He blinked the water from his eyes. “Wrap your arms around my neck.”
The deep sound of his voice.
The way he spoke.
It didn’t bother me . . . and I didn’t hesitate.
As soon as my body surrounded his, he lifted me again and . . . oh God . . . he sank deep inside me. I snaked my legs around his back and this way, in this position, his cock fit in my cunt in the most perfect way.
His thrusts were quick.
They felt so good.
His kisses rough.
They felt so good.
His grip tight.
It felt so good.
Moving together, we fucked hard and fast. And all the while, incredible bursts of pleasure crested through me, making my entire body shake.
My orgasm struck fast and shut my mind down. Tiny explosions behind my eyelids took over, and in that moment there was nothing else that mattered but him and me and the way our bodies responded to each other.
Logan started to come in the midst of my orgasm. I could feel his body still and felt that one, last deep penetration before he called out my name.
My name.
I loved how it sounded groaned in ecstasy.
It was the perfect ending to an incredible union.
With my clit pulsing around his cock and my body wrapped around his, I wanted to stay like that forever.
It was strange, but in the moment, I didn’t care about what could never be, or what might be.
This feeling was what I had been searching for.
My experience with Charlie had taught me many things, but most of all it taught me love would never be a part of my life. I was fine with that. It’s not like I ever thought it would. He was unexpected. At the risk of sounding cold, he was a nice distraction from my struggle to figure the whole sex thing out. Sex with him hadn’t been the focus of our relationship, which was what had been most appealing about him.
After him, though, I felt compelled to continue with my quest. Although a self-repressed sexual being by nature, I spent years chasing after what my father needed so desperately from sex that he bled the life out of my mother to get it. I tried everything I could but never found it. I slept with men for the sole purpose of finding it. Once, I even slept with two at the same time. I had a cock in my mouth and one in my cunt. And still nothing. I used vibrators, cock rings, and a drawer full of toys chasing that high that was supposed to come with sex. I had begun to think that it wasn’t for me to experience. And then, with a man I’d just met, a man who by circumstance should have been my enemy, I found it.
And the worst part was that it took me experiencing it to know for certain that my years of searching were futile—that in no way was that feeling the reason my father fucked my mother to death. Because what I just experienced was entirely mutual. It was as much about what I gave as what I took. And that is what made it so incredible. In my parents’ case, that was in no way what was going on between them.
Some things in life will just never make sense.
LOGAN
I hadn’t smoked in years, but I needed a cigarette.
I didn’t want to move, and it appeared Elle didn’t either.
With my cock buried deep inside her, I felt invincible.
But as my breathing started to recover and the high of my orgasm faded, reality came crashing down.
I was a fucking idiot.
I was anything but invincible.
She was anything but safe.
And I’d just done the one thing that was certain to cause her harm.
It didn’t matter when I fucked around in New York City. The Blue Hill Gang didn’t extend their reach that far and besides, it’s not like I went looking for pussy. I let it come to me. Hell, most of the time I didn’t even know their names. They were women looking for a break from the boring social circles we traveled in, and for some reason I was their guy. It worked for me. They’d call my name as I fucked their brains out trying to drown out the memory of Kayla’s screams. I never took numbers, never made promises to see them again, and I never went back for seconds.