“Yeah well, the Jade I knew wouldn’t have kept something like this from me. I feel like I don’t even know her anymore, Dad. I keep retracing my steps, and wondering where we went so wrong.”
My father huffed wistfully, a smile of remembrance pulling at his lips. “I remember the first time you told me you loved her. We were at her twelfth birthday party at Erik and Raquels’, and Jade was wearing this pink poufy dress with her hair in curls. You stared at her for over an hour, and then you turned to me and said, ‘Dad, one day, Jade and I are going to get married’. I asked you how you knew that, and you simply replied ‘because I like her’.”
“I don’t remember that,” I replied, trying to recall the memory.
“Your mom and I always knew you two would move on from being just friends, and I think Erik and Raquel knew it too. You guys were inseparable for most of your lives.”
“And now look at us,” I laughed bitterly. “We’re not friends, not a couple, but we’re going to be parents.” I pushed my bottle away, and rubbed my hands down my face, “I’m scared, Dad.”
“You know what happened the day I found out your mother was expecting you?” He asked. “I fainted, right there in the bathroom. Passed out cold.”
“Mom must’ve loved that,” I snickered. “Were you scared too? When mom told you she was pregnant?”
“Oh yeah,” he scoffed, “I was terrified for the whole nine months, and when your mother went into labor two weeks after her due date, I thought I was going to give myself a heart attack. But, then you came home, and we figured it out. Your mother wasn’t stressed out, so I relaxed, and after a while, everything just...worked out.”
“What if Jade decides she doesn’t want to keep the baby?” It was the first time I’d aired that concern out aloud, and saying the words made the possibility so much more real. Could I deal with it if she decided not to keep our baby?
No.
It was that simple.
“What if we can’t make it right?” I continued, needing to get all my worries out of my head. “What do I do then?”
My father’s expression turned serious. “Then you fight.”
“But how can I be sure it’s the right thing? How do I know for sure that it’s love, and not just lust?”
It felt silly to ask that question, because until now I’d never questioned my feelings for Jade, but her news suddenly had me questioning everything I thought I knew.
“If you looked ahead ten years from now, and saw Jade standing next to you, and if you know without a shadow of a doubt that you’d put up with all the hardships that life throws at you if it meant waking up next to her, then you know.”
I thought about it, and my father gave me the time to process it before he asked, “Tell me in one sentence, right now, how you feel about Jade.”
Without preamble I replied, “I’d rather fight with her, than love anyone else.”
He smiled knowingly. “That, son, is love.”
I knew in that moment he was right, and that only left me with one choice.
To fight.
I was going to fight for Jade, even if it meant I had to wait forever. I had to make her see I wasn’t going anywhere, and I would be there for her and our baby.
I KNOCKED ON Jade and Kennedy’s door and waited with two coffee cups in my hands. After my morning jog, I stopped at Bean Me Up on campus, and figured after two days, Jade would be ready to talk. I’d given everything my father had said a lot of thought, and it was time I was honest with Jade. I was nervous, but also certain, and knew the only way to get through to her was to only give her one choice. To trust me.
The door opened, and a sleepy-looking Kennedy was standing on the other side.
“Hey, Reid.”
She yawned, and I stifled a smile. Dane must’ve kept her up all night again, and thank the Pope they were at Kennedy’s and not at our place. The last thing I wanted while sorting the shit out in my head was hearing them have sex.
“Hey Kenny. Hope I didn’t wake you.”
“Not at all,” – she yawned again – “But Dane isn’t here.”
“I was actually looking for Jade.”
Kennedy’s brows shot up, and she was suddenly very much awake. Her eyes darted between me and Jade’s bedroom door, and my forehead scrunched into a frown. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine, it’s just...”
“What’s wrong, Kennedy?” I asked sternly. “Is Jade okay?”
Kennedy’s shoulders dropped, and she stepped aside before I barreled her over.
“She’s fine, she’s just sick.”
I placed the two cups on the kitchen counter, and walked through Jade’s bedroom door into her bathroom. She was hunched over the toilet, heaving, with her one hand braced on the floor, and the other on her stomach. She reached over, and flushed the toilet before settling back down on her knees, working to catch her breath. Her head whipped up, and she startled when she saw me standing there.
“Reid, what are you doing here?”
I grabbed a washcloth from the drawers under the sink, wet it with some warm water, and knelt down so that I could help her clean up.
“I came to see you,” I replied, wiping the sides of her mouth. She snatched the washcloth from my hand, causing me to drop my hand with a sigh. She was still pissed with me.
Well, that was too fucking bad. We were going to talk, and if it meant I had to tie her down to get her to listen, I would do it.
“Come to accuse me of something else?” Her brown eyes bore into my face, and I could only laugh – on the inside – at how easily Jade was riled up.
“I’m sorry,” I breathed out, daring to meet her gaze. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. There’s no excuse except that I was in shock, and pissed that I had to hear it from someone else.”
“So you decide the best way to handle it is accuse me of sleeping with someone else when I was with you?” Jade looks ready to slap me, and cry at the same time. Dammit, this isn’t going as I’d planned, but I should’ve known it wouldn’t – it never does with Jade. She had the ability to keep me on my toes without realizing it. It was one of many things about her that drove me crazy.
“I jumped to conclusions,” I replied. “But I came to apologize, and to talk.”
Jade opened her mouth to speak, but in the next breath she had her head bent over the toilet, heaving all over again. I cringed. I’d heard about morning sickness before, but had yet to witness it, and from the pained expression on Jade’s flustered face, it wasn’t fun. I rose to my feet, and leaned over her, taking her hair in one hand and rubbing circles on her back with the other.
“Can I get you anything?” I asked. She wiped her mouth, and shook her head as she stood up. She leant on the wall for support, and I got a good look at what a toll everything had taken on her. She looked tired, and what concerned me was that she looked leaner too.
“I’m still angry with you, Reid.” Her voice quivered, making my insides roll with guilt. “I don’t know if I want to talk to you right now.”
“Then don’t, but I have some things I need to say, and considering you kept your pregnancy from me, you owe it to me to listen.”
“I owe it to you?” She asked dubiously, walking out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. “I don’t owe you anything.” She grabbed a hoodie from her bed, and threw it on over her head. That’s when I saw what little clothing she had on. It was fucking freezing outside, and she was in nothing more than a black tank top, and bright pink sleep shorts.
“You need to dress warmer,” I admonished, not bothering to hide my disapproval. Wasn’t she taking better care of herself?
With a harsh pull, she covered her torso with the hoodie, and shot daggers at me.
“I get hot, which is normal for pregnant women. Now are you going to tell me what I did to deserve your extra sunny disposition this morning, or did you just come to tell me what I can and can’t wear to bed?”
She turned around and stormed out, causing me to throw my hands up in defeat. God, why did she have to be so fucking difficult?