He frowned at me, his forehead crinkling. “Who?”
Before I could answer, he shook his head. “No, Erin. She… the light… it was so bright, and she just… went into it.” He sounded awed and sad all at the same time.
Normally, I would have stayed with him, tried to talk him through it. The first time you see the light, especially if it's not coming for you, it's a bit of a mind-blowing experience. But I couldn't this time, not now.
I shoved past him and kept going.
“Hey, are you okay?” he called after me. “You don't look so good.”
I ignored him and focused on the column of light in the near distance. It grew brighter the deeper I went into the woods. But I couldn't tell if that was because I was getting closer or if the trees were blocking out the competing light from Ben's house.
And then it was gone. Like someone overhead had flipped off a gigantic switch.
I stumbled to a stop, blinded by the sudden darkness.
“No, no, no.” I could hear the broken words in my croaking voice, but they sounded like they were coming from someone else.
When my sight returned, I started forward in the direction of where I thought the light had been, but everything looked the same in the dark. Trees. Everywhere.
“Ally!” I shouted. It was the only name I could safely use for her with so many people nearby, and one I'd come to associate with her, anyway.
No response, and though I'd half expected that, it didn't prevent me from feeling that socked-in-the-stomach sensation, with which I was all too recently familiar.
I kept going, searching blindly for something, anything, when the moonlight caught a pale shape on the ground about ten feet ahead of me.
Oh, no.
I raced forward, ignoring my ribs, my brain shouting at me to hurry, even though some part of me knew it was already too late. Whatever had happened had happened. And there was nothing I could do to change it.
I slipped in the dead leaves and half slid, half fell into place next to her.
Gathering her up in my arms, I caught the overwhelming scent of beer, but also the fainter scent of the sweet-smelling shampoo she used, both as Ally and Alona. Lily's body was still breathing, I could tell, but there were no signs of life other than that. Alona was gone, and it was over.
So… that was it. Tears spilled down my cheeks, warm, wet, and stinging my various cuts and scrapes, but I didn't care.
I lifted her up, holding her closer, her face pressed against my shoulder. “I'm sorry. I should have been here. I didn't mean for you to be alone.…”
“You know, I went to a lot of trouble to stick around,” she said quietly, her voice muffled against me.
I jumped a little at the sound, and then started to laugh and cry at the same time, feeling ridiculous but unable to stop. “You're here.”
“It would be nice if you didn't suffocate me right away,” she continued, sounding exhausted.
I tipped her head away from my shoulder, so I could see her face. “Are you okay?”
“Tired. Really tired, but okay. Nothing a gallon of mouthwash and a full decontamination shower won't fix.”
She lifted her head slowly, like it was an effort, and it probably was. I kept my hand behind her neck to help support it.
She touched my cheek gently, and I winced. “What happened to you?” she asked.
“Ben was feeling artistic. Wanted to rearrange my face.” I searched her eyes, looking for signs that she was as okay as she claimed to be. Lipstick was still smeared across her mouth, and I used the side of my thumb to rub it away. She'd hate it as soon as she saw it was messed up.
She smiled. “Funny guy. But there's good news.”
“What's that?”
“You look good in bloodred, too, I guess.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, you're a riot.”
“I try,” she said with a modest shrug.
Then it was all too much, and her eyes went bright and shiny with tears, and she looked away. “I thought…” she began in a trembling voice.
“I know.” I held her tighter, ignoring the pain in my ribs and various bumps and bruises. None of that seemed important at the moment.
“The light,” I said. “Did you…”
“Yeah,” she said softly. “I could have gone. It was giving me the choice. Like last time.”
That was news to me, and, dim as it was here in the woods, there must have been enough light for her to read that in my expression.
“Yeah, I didn't know, either,” she said, looking down. “Didn't remember. Not until it was here and I was on the edges of it.”
“You didn't stay for me.” I hesitated. “Did you?” As flattering as that would be, I didn't want it on my conscience.
She laughed, actually snorted. “Please. Who do you think I am?” She sat up straighter, seeming to grow stronger the longer we sat here. “I stayed because I could,” she said simply. “Because I could have been done, but I don't think I am. Not yet.”
I wasn't sure what that meant, exactly, but right now, I didn't care. She was here.
“But,” she said, carefully avoiding my gaze, “your continued presence may have been a perk that I considered.”
I tucked her hair behind her shoulder, where it wouldn't stay because of her new haircut. “I think, uh, I might be in love with you,” I said, my voice sounding gruff and awkward even to my own ears. Strange after everything we'd been through together that this would be so difficult to say, but it was. I couldn't even look at her, focused instead on that errant strand of hair. “Is that going to be a problem?” I asked stiffly when she didn't respond.
She laughed. “Probably. Probably lots of problems. But”—she put her hands on my shoulders when I tried to pull away—“we'll figure them out. I'm not going anywhere.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and held on tightly.
It would take more time and patience for her to get to the point where she was comfortable enough to say that she loved me, but I knew in that moment that she did.
I leaned back to look at her, seeing only her, this girl who was Ally but also Alona, and who bore a resemblance to a friend I'd once had but was someone new. Someone I could live without, but didn't want to.
I eased closer, drawn in by the desire to cement this moment in reality, in touch and taste.
She pulled away slightly, her hand covering her mouth like she had garlic breath. “Do you have any idea who Erin was kissing?”
“Yeah, so we'll brush our teeth really, really thoroughly afterward,” I said, bumping her nose with mine gently. I wasn't going to let anyone spoil this moment.
She lowered her hand slightly. “And burn our toothbrushes?” she persisted.
“I'll buy you a case of new ones,” I promised, my lips moving against her cheek.
She nodded and lowered her hand the rest of the way.
I brushed my mouth against hers. She shivered, and her hands swept up to touch my hair and urge me closer. They were chaste kisses, in deference to the night we'd both had, but electric in their potential. I could feel the future in them. A future I never thought I'd have, and one I wanted more than anything.
Will was waiting for me in the pickup/drop-off area in front of school when I walked out at the end of my first day. At the sight of him, I stopped dead, blinking in the super-bright afternoon sun, not sure if I was seeing what I wanted or what was actually there.
It had been two weeks since I'd last seen him. When Will brought me home to the very worried, very angry Turners, I'd explained that he'd tracked me down at a party and driven me home. They were doubtful, but I insisted, and they eventually thanked him, albeit reluctantly.
Then they'd taken turns hugging me until I couldn't breathe… and grounded me for a freaking month. No visitors, no phone, and no INTERNET.