That’s for a Xin De man…
He can sit on this bed; I must climb onto it.
In a small closet, I find modest dresses in white and a few in various hues of purple. There is a pair of brown leather pants and hide boots—to protect our skin in the Redwind. And three pairs of sandals, one with flowers on the straps, one with vines, one with rope twined laces. They’re not the exact styles as in the Silk Aviary, but similar. All Silk Girls wear alike dresses but for slight differences depending on the girl’s shape. In the Silk Aviary, the Modistes Girl, a girl who has The Trade responsible for designing, creating, and fitting apparel, would choose a modest style for me, whereas she would dress Iris in lower cuts with shorter sleeves.
I shut the closet.
I take the small steps up the side of the bed and crawl on. The mattress beneath my knees is like nothing I have ever felt before. Soft, yet forming.
Rolling to my back in the centre, I stare at the ceiling. A sensation unsettles my stomach, a flutter of anticipation and nerves.
Will a lord visit me tonight?
Or tomorrow?
Will I know beforehand?
The veil.
I turn to my knees and crawl to the bedside drawers. I hold my breath as I pull it open. Like I thought, the veil sits just inside.
I slide it on. It is a solid black silk piece that cups the top of my crown, curtaining my eyes and nose, ending at my upper lip, leaving my mouth mostly exposed. Available. Open.
Staring through the lush fabric, I see dots of light, blurry shadows that could be furniture, but no further detail. I remove the veil and place it back inside the drawer.
Do I wear this each night?
Will it hurt when he…
When he opens me?
I flop backward and cover my face with my palms, taking a big breath. Suddenly feeling hot and bothered despite the curated temperature of the room. I wish I had someone to ask questions—about the… act. Maybe one of the other Silk Girls will be kind. I’ll test her friendship by making minor mistakes, and then if she passes, I could ask her about the six months I have missed.
The details I should know.
Iris already knows them…
She is a summer older than me.
‘I also put a little light reading in your drawer… with diagrams.’
My eyes widen on the ceiling.
Slowly, I sit up and look across at the drawer again. Stare. I go to it—again—and open it, now noticing other things inside: a brush, a small towel, folded white pages. Right.
Taking a big breath, I retrieve them before laying on my stomach and opening the pages up on the pillow.
My cheeks flush as I read the scene, a first-person account of being with a man.
I squirm on the mattress.
I wasn’t entirely sure I could take him inside me. I was afraid to be in the dark, but he slipped two fingers through my folds. “You’re ready,” he murmured.
He pressed my thighs down and worked himself into me, making loud noises that rumbled from deep within his chest.
And I took him.
All of him.
I was shuddering with pleasure at each pump, at each thrust. Having the special places inside me rubbed, soothed, and massaged, every inch previously untouched, now pressed, and caressed. I exploded.
Hesitantly, I turn the page to see the drawing of a wonderfully curvaceous woman wearing a Silk Girl Veil. She is throwing her head back, her body arching upward, and he… A massive Xin De man is fully sheathed inside her. Veins pop along his arms as he pins her down, muscles on his abdomen crunch together—
I start to pant, feeling strange. So strange that I flip the page over, unable to look any longer. Shower, I need to shower— Or pee. I want to pee so badly.
I stand up and rush to the bathroom, sit on the toilet and feel a tingle when I wee into the bowl.
What the hell is wrong with me?
What the hell is happening?
Chapter Four
Aster
Silk Girl Vows:
For The Cradle, I vow to live free of jealousy. It is a disease that does not leave space inside the heart for Meaningful Purpose.
“Hmm,” a girl named Island, The Estate’s Modistes Girl, makes a drawn-out sound of contemplation as she circles my naked body. “Small.”
I wrap my arms around my middle, darting my gaze to Paisley, who sits in the corner watching us. I know I’m small; it’s literally been thrown in my face every day of my life.
Most Silk Girls have Xin De in them… But not all. In the past, only Xin De girls qualified to be Silk Girls, but since The Revive, the criteria are simply three generations of successful pregnancies and births. Sounds easy, but one miscarriage and you’re out. Forever. But Xin De mixed girls carry and birth the babies well. Better, in truth. They can carry the babes for longer, some, all the way to term. Which is not usual now given the massive size of a Xin De fetus.
I follow Island with my eyes. Her face is entirely covered in chalky white paint; her top lip is a bright red puckering arrow.
“Very sweet figure,” she notes, “but you could be a tad fuller in certain areas.”
She stops moving around me. “To add volume, I’m going to go with a heart-shaped neckline, really try to showcase those sweet little things to the lords.”
It’s been two days since I moved into my forever room. I’ve been told that there is a carnival in The Estate tonight. It is a word I didn’t know until today. It means party, of sorts. All the lords from every tower will be there, giving the five in his Collective a chance to view us amongst others. “I’ve never been dressed before.”
She finds a white, long-sleeve leotard with a heart-shaped neckline—like she advised—on the gold-gilded clothing rack. “Put this on first, then this long purple slip shirt. I will do your hair up high, show that long neck and décolletage. You’re the perfect ballerina.”
“So, you don’t think I’m too small?”
“Look, it’s old practise that the larger girls carry better. But I have seen tiny things like you birth just fine. Your hips will do what they will whether you have extra meat on them or not, and if the babe has a high Xin De genus, you will not be expected to carry it to term anyway. It will be incubated when it grows too large for your womb. The Revive was meant to balance the differences between our kinds and stop the species conflict, which is why more Silk Girls like you are arising. The Xin De genes are recessive; you must have read this in your studies. But—” She takes a big breath. “Some are opposed to The Revive. They want purity. After all, Xin De were masterfully designed to survive. It’s in a Xin De Lord’s best interest to pick a girl who has some traits, height, strength, flesh armour, the nictitating membrane, the film in the nostrils. Do you have any of these?”
I shake my head.
“I didn’t think so. But you’re a sight, Aster.” She smiles widely. “Really, really, lovely to look at. You’ll be picked quickly because they won’t be able to take their eyes off you.”