He regarded her curiously. "Never the same how?"
She finished taking a drink of the broth and stared at him in bewilderment. "Zach never told you about what happened with our mother?"
"Just bits and pieces." He clasped his hands over his bare stomach, drawing her gaze to that taut, lean belly of his and the sprinkling of hair that whorled around his navel and made an enticing trail south. "He mentioned that your parents divorced when he was young, and that both of them had since died, but he never shared details. Whatever happened between your parents wasn't something he liked to talk about."
Neither did she, because it stirred up a lot of hurt and pain. Even now, she felt old, buried resentment rise to the surface. "What my father did was rough on Zach." And accounted for a lot of her brother's rebellion and reckless behavior when he was a teenager, and even now as an adult.
"I'm sure it was rough on you, too," he said softly.
The dark, smoky blue hue of his eyes searched hers, silently offering the kind of comfort and compassion that made her feel connected to Joel, in a way that she'd never experienced with any other man. Startled by that notion, she glanced away from his mesmerizing gaze, scraped out the last bit of noodles and chicken from the mug, and told herself not to read too much into his interest, and his too-knowing comment.
"It was rough on all of us," she told him. Their father's reckless, egotistical choices had not only devastated their mother and destroyed their family as a whole, but it had also shattered her and Zach's illusion of love and security, as well. "As for me, after my father walked out, someone had to make sure that our lives continued as normally as possible, especially mine and Zach's, and that became my responsibility."
He frowned at her. "Where was your mother during all this?"
"Oh, she was there physically, but the day my father left she checked out mentally and emotionally."
Finished with her soup, she set her empty mug on the night stand beside the bed, then turned back toward Joel. She wasn't sure how they'd gotten so immersed in her past, gone from canned soup to her turbulent childhood, but she didn't mind sharing that private part of herself with Joel. And that realization said a lot, considering she didn't like thinking about, or talking about, what had happened so many years ago.
"My mother had centered her married life around pleasing my father, and him doing everything for her in terms of financial support, that she honestly didn't know how to cope without him." Facing Joel, she crossed her legs and settled the covers up around her waist, "After the divorce, she became withdrawn and depressed. She slept most of the day away, and when she was up, she was barely functional, despite the medication her doctor prescribed for her. Things got even worse after my father was killed in a car crash, along with his then-girlfriend. I think my mother always harbored the hope that he'd come back to her."
"So you pretty much became a parent to both your mother and Zach," he guessed, his deep voice rich with understanding.
She nodded. "Like I said, someone had to keep what was left of our family together, and I did what I could. Zach didn't cope well with my father's abandonment or the divorce, and he was a moody, temperamental teenager. Then, the summer after I graduated from high school, I came home from work one day to find that my mother had deliberately overdosed on a combination of pain killers and other barbiturates." Her throat clogged with emotion and the sadness that always accompanied thoughts of how her mother had died.
Joel reached out, took her hand, and gave it a gentle, comforting squeeze. "I'm sorry, Lora. I know how hard it is to lose a parent. My mother passed away when I was just a kid, and it changes everything."
"Yeah, it does," she said, wondering what had changed for him and his family after his mother's death. The shadows lurking in his gaze told her that he'd been deeply affected by the loss of his mother, in a way that still remained a part of him.
Pushing her own curiosity aside for the moment, she continued with her story, "I was eighteen at the time, and Zach was sixteen, so I filed for guardianship so we wouldn't be separated and I could raise him for the next two years. And let me tell you, he didn't make things easy on me. He ran with the wrong crowd and thought alcohol, drugs, and courting various kinds of trouble were the way to deal with his pain and anger over what happened with my mother and father."
She shook her head and gave Joel a small half smile. "Somehow, someway, I managed to keep him out of juvenile hall, and when he turned eighteen and joined the Marines, I couldn't have been happier. I really hoped that this would be his chance to make a good, stable life for himself."
She exhaled a deep breath and absently picked at a piece of lint on the dark brown comforter. "But I've had to bail him out of a few situations over the past few years due to his gambling habit and alcohol abuse, and now with tonight's incident, it seems that Zach hasn't changed at all. And even though I'm angry that he's gotten himself into trouble again, and I'm somehow involved, I really do miss him and I hope he's okay."
"That's understandable." Joel's long, warm fingers stroked across her jaw and brushed away stray strands of her hair, his gentle touch stirring feelings deep inside of her. "He's your brother and your only family, and you love him, despite his faults."
"Yeah, I do." She sighed, and eyed Joel's solid chest, thinking how wonderful it would be to curl up against him and forget about everything for a little while longer. At least until tomorrow morning, when reality would no doubt intrude on this idyllic time with him. "I'm really worried about Zach and I wish he'd get in touch with me so I can help him get out of whatever mess he's in."
"If you've bailed him out before, maybe it's time that he learns to handle the situation himself," Joel said gruffly.
She couldn't argue with that, yet… "If those guys had no qualms about putting a knife to my throat and threatening me with further harm, I can't imagine what they'll do to Zach."
Lora shuddered at the horrible thoughts passing through her mind, of Zach alone and susceptible to those evil men wanting whatever money her brother owed them. She was suddenly very thankful that she was here with Joel, instead of by herself at her apartment. "I want you to know that I'm so grateful that you were there for me at The Electric Blue tonight."
"It's not as though I was able to stop the attack." His jaw clenched in a flare of anger, and his eyes flashed with the same spark of fury. "It never should have happened to you, Lora."
She studied him for a moment, from the tension radiating off his body to the self-reproach in his gaze. He made it seem as though he was responsible somehow, and that was an absolutely ridiculous notion. "There's no way you could have anticipated something like that. Nobody could have. But you did find me out in the back alley, and who knows how long I could have been out there if you hadn't heard me pounding on the door. And you've taken great care of me ever since."
She moved closer, wanting him to know how much his attention and concern meant to her. "I can't remember the last time someone took care of me the way you have. It seems like I've always been the one taking care of everyone else, so to have you take charge of the situation like that, and me, was so reassuring. I needed you, and you were there for me, and I'm so glad that I'm here with you now and I don't have to be alone after what happened tonight with those men."
His sensual lips tightened. "Sydney wouldn't have left you alone."
"You're right," she conceded, though she wasn't sure why he was arguing the point, "I'm a pretty independent woman, but there's something about you that makes me feel safe and protected."
"Lora…" His gravelly voice trailed off, and he looked torn about something. "About those men who attacked you-"
Reaching out a hand before he could finish his sentence, she placed her fingers against his warm lips, stopping his flow of words. "I don't want to talk about what happened, or think about it," she said, and moved closer to him. "At least not right now."
No, at the moment she had other things on her mind, and they included taking advantage of Joel's magnificent body. She wanted him again, ached to lose herself in his sensual kisses, the knowing stroke of his hands, and the heat of his mouth tempting her beyond thought or reason. And judging by the dark desire sparking to life in his gaze, he craved the same things.
Emboldened by that knowledge, she closed the distance between them. Sliding her fingers into the waistband of his sweatpants, she tugged them down and off, then pushed his knees apart and knelt between his spread legs. He was already hard and thick, his erection curving up from his body as if begging for her touch.
That she could arouse him so quickly was a heady notion that made her want to please him all the more. Earlier, he'd given her exactly what she'd needed, generously, intimately, and unselfishly. This time, she wanted to be the one to seduce him, just as indulgently.
Flattening her hands on his strong thighs, she slid her palms upward. Her fingers traced the long scar on his left leg that he refused to talk about, then moved higher, until her thumbs brushed across the heavy sacks beneath his shaft, until the fingers of one hand were wrapped snugly around the base of his heated flesh.
She glanced up the length of his torso, watched the rapid rise and fall of his chest, and finally met his gaze. His eyes were dark and intense and hypnotic, and when she stroked him all the way to the tip of his cock then glided her thumb over the swollen head, she felt him shudder and jolt against her erotic caress.
Smiling, she lowered her head and teased him with slow, languid licks and wet swirls of her tongue. Tempted him with the promise of a deeper, moister heat. His fingers slid into her hair and cupped the back of her head, gently urging her to take more of him, all of him. Parting her lips, she drew his cock into her warm, wet mouth, as far as she could, loving the taste of him. She gradually withdrew, adding just enough suction and friction to rip a helpless groan from his throat.
Her own arousal pitched higher, and because she wanted him inside her when he came, she moved up and over him, until she was kneeling above his hips, poised less than an inch away from his jutting erection. His hands settled on her thighs as she began unfastening the buttons on the shirt she wore. She made him suffer through her slow, seductive strip tease, made him watch as the flannel material parted and she caressed her bared breasts with her hands and grazed her rigid nipples with her thumbs.
Feeling shamelessly uninhibited, and encouraged by the lust and need chiseling his features, Lora skimmed her palms down her ribs, over her belly, and let her fingers dip between her legs. She was already slick and wet, her flesh incredibly sensitive to the touch, and she couldn't hold back the moan that escaped her lips.
Joel's fingers dug into her thighs, and his breathing grew ragged. She knew she was pushing his restraint, and making him lose complete control became her ultimate goal. She inched downward, until just the swollen head of his erection glided along the weeping folds of her sex, and shivered at the delicious, erotic sensation of him sliding rhythmically against her cleft. Letting her lashes fall half-mast, she bit her bottom lip and rocked sinuously against that smooth, hard column of flesh once, twice, three times… and felt the beginnings of an orgasm start to unravel deep inside her.
She heard Joel swear as his control finally shattered, a dark, ripe curse that was raw, primal, and wholly sexual. Grabbing her hips firmly in his hands, he jerked her body down onto his engorged cock at the same time he thrust upward, impaling her to the hilt in one long, hard, driving stroke. She gasped in shock, and her head spun at the sudden, unexpected invasion, but he didn't give her time to think. Didn't give her time to react or adjust before he was bucking into her, grinding against her, repeatedly, impatiently, relentlessly.
She might have been on top and in the dominant position, but the man beneath her was far more powerful, far more demanding, and there was nothing she could do but match him stroke for stroke and ride out the sensual storm.
His hands tugged at the shirt she wore, shoving it down her arms and off so that she was as naked as he was. His splayed palms slid around to her back, moved firmly up the slope of her spine. Long, warm, insistent fingers curled around the nape of her neck, and he pulled her down toward him to fuse their mouths together, even as their lower bodies continued to mate and strain for release.
The kiss was deep. Hot. Bold and aggressive and ultimately possessive-a ravenous clash of lips and tongues that imitated the unbridled way he moved against her, inside of her. Then his hands were gripping her bottom, dragging her closer, increasing the heated friction between their bodies. Intense pleasure saturated her senses, and she clenched around his shaft as the beginnings of a climax rippled through her.
She groaned raggedly against his mouth, and unable to hold back, she let her orgasm wash over her. The release was strong and overwhelming, tearing a soft cry from her lips as she rode out the exquisite sensation.
Even as she was still convulsing from the aftermath and trying to catch her breath, Joel's body tightened beneath hers and he came, shuddering hard against her.