Cian lay on his side. His hair was lackluster, and he’d lost weight. In the light of day, his skin looked pasty. Though he probably hadn’t been out of bed much for the better part of two months, he looked tired and haggard. Beck tried to summon some sympathy.
“Get out of bed, ya bastard.” Beck kicked the bed. The frame shook, but Cian stubbornly stayed prone.
“No.” Cian replied with far more bite than a dying man should have. He pulled the quilt up to his neck and pointedly closed his eyes. “I’m done, Beck. It ain’t worth it. I can’t think anymore. My mind won’t work.”
“You think you’re the only one having trouble?” Beck was tired of listening to his brother’s whining. Sometimes Cian forgot he wasn’t the only one hurting. “I wanted to kill everything in my path for a while there. I had to stop myself from going into a rage and killing innocent people. You just can’t focus.”
Cian’s gray eyes opened suddenly and burned with resentment. “You can’t understand. I can’t even read a book anymore. My mind drifts. Sometimes I don’t remember where I am. Do you know what it’s like to have everything that made you who you are taken away?”
Beck rolled his eyes. “I bloody well do. You’re not the only one who’s in trouble here.”
Cian shook his head and dramatically turned away. It apparently took all his energy. “I don’t want to fight anymore. There’s no point to it. I haven’t the energy. Can’t we just get along? It won’t be long before I’m gone. I feel it, Beck. I feel death coming for me.”
“You sound like a bad play, Ci,” Beck said with an affectionate laugh. Cian had always been overly dramatic. Goddess, it would be good to have his brother back.
A sad sigh came from the figure on the bed. “And you sound like you couldn’t care less. I suppose I understand. I haven’t been much use to anyone lately. Well, did you have any luck on your hunting trip? Did you catch anything?”
Cian was turned away, and Beck knew he couldn’t see his sly smile. “I didn’t catch anything to eat, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Beck didn’t mention that he’d actually eaten Meg’s sweet pussy quite a bit the night before. He didn’t think he’d ever get his fill, either.
“Oh, well,” came the ho-hum reply. “I wasn’t hungry, anyway.”
“I didn’t really go hunting. I went to market and got us a wife.”
Cian sat straight up in bed.
“Yeah, I thought that might get you moving, you lazy bastard.”
Cian appeared more animated than Beck had seen him in months. His hand went back to smooth down his hair. “There’s a girl here?”
“Meggie’s a woman,” Beck corrected. “She’s all woman, not a girl.”
“Meggie.” Cian rolled the name around on his tongue as if he were tasting it. He seemed to like the flavor. “How did she escape from Tir na nÒg ? Do you think Torin is hunting her?”
“No, you don’t understand.” Beck put a single hand on his twin’s shoulder, a silent request to calm down. “She’s not Fae.”
Cian slumped back down. “Oh, I thought you had found us a bondmate. I guess that was a stupid thing to think. Well, I hope she brings you some pleasure in our last days.”
“She’s a human from the Earth plane, and she is most definitely a proper bondmate. She’s also the most beautiful thing in all of the planes,” Beck said with confidence. “I already bonded with her and feel spectacular, but if you’re not interested, I’ll keep her for myself.”
Cian was on his feet before Beck could finish. “I need to change clothes.”
Beck sniffed and shook his head. “You need a bath before I’ll let you anywhere near my own sweet Meggie.”
Cian’s face turned stubborn. “Our own sweet Meggie.”
“Fine, then.” It was good to see his brother up and about. He wasn’t worried about sharing Meg with him. He had expected it all of his life. He’d shared everything with Cian. Now he wanted to share a life, a real life, with Cian and Meg. He walked to the dresser and pulled out a pair of clean clothes and a bar of soap. “But I should warn you, she slept with me last night. She might not want you.”
Cian huffed. “Well, if she’s only had you for company, she’ll need a little intelligent conversation. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but mostly you just grunt.”
“She doesn’t seem to mind the noises I make, if you know what I mean.” She didn’t. She seemed to have forgiven him for his brutish behavior before. She’d been a sweet bundle of soft femininity in his arms while they traveled home. He’d found the ride a bit rough since he’d been hard the whole time, but he wouldn’t have changed it. He liked holding her. After nearly losing her, he found it calmed him to have her close.
Cian tossed off the pants he’d been wearing. “I can’t believe you bonded without me.”
It wasn’t what they had planned. It hadn’t been anything close to the traditional ceremony they would have had—nor had it concluded in a full bonding. The guilt of that weighed heavily on him, but he hadn’t been able to open himself fully to her. She wouldn’t have been able to handle some of the things he’d done. “You would have done the same, little brother. Trust me. Once you’ve seen her, you’ll understand.”
Holding the items in one hand, Cian walked through the bedroom to the back door of the cottage. He looked back at his brother. There was the slightest hint of uncertainty in his eyes. “She’s a proper bondmate, then?”
Beck cocked an eyebrow questioningly. “The bond works. I know. It will work with you, too.”
“That’s not what I meant, brother,” Cian said. “I was asking if she’s like the other bondmates. Is she anything like Maris?”
Beck remembered well how Cian felt about their intended. He could barely stand the sight of her. She had made her preferences clear. She wanted to be queen. She would have preferred to only be married to the warrior half of the King. “Not in the way you mean. Meg is sweet, and she’s got quite the mouth on her. She wasn’t raised to be a high-born lady, but she deserves no less respect. She’s a little scared, too.”
Cian’s spine straightened. “We’ll make sure she’s got nothing to be afraid of, then.”
“Go, make yourself presentable for our little wife. I’ll find us something for dinner.” Beck was grinning as he changed the sheets on the bed and straightened up the room. Out of the back window, he could see Cian hurrying down the path to the pond. It had been a long, long while since he’d seen his brother move so quickly.
As happy as he was, getting married also brought about a range of problems for Beck. He was going to have to figure out a way to bring in some steady income because he didn’t want Meg to feel she had to keep the house. She was a bondmate, not a housewife. He made up his mind to talk to Dante. Susan Dellacourt had told him she was always interested in his services. The vampire companies had long-reaching arms and always had some strange security problem clogging up the roads of trade. He might be able to make decent money that way.
In the back of his mind, he knew once word got out that he and Cian had bonded, the loyalists would come calling. They would offer him a lot to lead the attempt to reclaim Tir na nÒg . Beck was sure they would come, and the pressure would be on. He would have a decision to make, and now it didn’t seem like a clear one.
Once he would have done anything to get the chance to avenge his father. Was he willing to risk Meg? For the first time since he was seventeen, it seemed to Beck that he might have a future. It would be a very different one than he was raised for, but it was his. He could have a good life with Meg and Cian, and eventually their children. All of that could be lost if he gambled on taking back his crown.