Beck shook off the dark thoughts. That was a worry for another day. Today he needed to feed them, and that was all that mattered. He hoped Cian hadn’t managed to kill all their chickens while he was busy fading. Beck walked out the back and down to the chicken coop where he selected a particularly healthy hen and proceeded to efficiently chop her head off.
The hen was fat and would make a good meal. The day might have started rough, but if it ended with a full belly and a warm bed, Beck would call it perfect.
Chapter Nine
The cold water shook the cobwebs out of Cian Finn’s mind with a teeth-jarring shock. He took a deep breath and forced himself to go under. The chill prickled along his skin. He needed to try to think clearly.
It had been almost impossible lately. The thoughts in his head would come and go like butterflies flitting in and out. He couldn’t catch them and keep them. They were too fast. A thought would come, and Cian would get excited. He would start to follow through on it, and then he would be standing somewhere wondering exactly how he had gotten there. Cian didn’t like to talk about his problems with his brother. Beck had his own problems. He didn’t need to worry about his little brother’s failing brain, but it was becoming something he couldn’t hide. Even if he tried to hide it, he would have forgotten what he was trying to do. It was easier when Beck was around to ground him. When his brother was in close proximity, Cian was able to focus for longer periods of time.
Cian broke the surface of the water. There was a momentary terror. It came with the revelation that he didn’t know where he was. Cian took a deep breath and banished the fear. It wouldn’t do any good. It would just make him look like a fool, and then his father would be angry with him.
He seemed to be swimming.
No. He was bathing, and his father was dead. His father had been gone a very long time. Uncle Torin had killed him and taken their throne. He and Beck were outcasts. Yes, he remembered that part. He wasn’t a child anymore. He was a man. He had to act like one.
Cian looked down at the soap in his hand and decided that as long as he was here, he would clean up. He felt grungy. He remembered he had taken to his bed. It had seemed like a smart thing to do. The big bed was a familiar place. He always knew where he was. Even if he got lost in memory, the bed was safe. There was always a voice whispering to him that the bed was a nice place to be. It was better than eating or being up and about. He could just sort of drift away.
Cian managed to soap his hair before his mind shifted again, and he forgot what he was supposed to do. By then his body had become used to the chill of the pond. It was a simple thing to float on his back and gaze up at the sky.
The sky above him was a vibrant blue. The puffy white clouds took on various shapes and forms. Some of the damn things reminded him of mathematical equations. The shapes could be described mathematically. He had always wanted to study math. His father had promised him when he turned nineteen that he could go to live with his aunt for a while on the Vampire plane. Beck was going to learn their fighting techniques and make political contacts. Cian was going to the university. He was going to study. It would be marvelous. He couldn’t wait to meet other students and talk to professors. He wasn’t going to the same school as his cousin, but they would be close. He would be surrounded by books.
And he could get away from the stuffy old court. Someone was always watching him, waiting for him to screw up and break the rules. He didn’t always follow protocols or behave in a matter befitting a prince of the realm. His father would sit him down and tell him how much he was embarrassing his brother and his fiancée.
But Cian would be free on the Vampire plane. He could meet some girls who didn’t look at him like he was a fool. They wouldn’t compare him to his big brother and find him lacking. What was his father thinking? Maris was a righteous bitch who had an enormous stick up her ass. How was he ever going to work up the will to fuck her? He didn’t think Beck wanted to fuck her, either. They were always so polite to each other. There wasn’t an ounce of passion between them. Shouldn’t he want to fuck the woman he was going to be forced to spend the rest of his life with?
“Beckett Finn,” a feminine voice called out. “What are you doing? Get out of there. You must be freezing.”
Cian twisted his body and let his feet find the bottom of the pond. He saw a blonde female gracefully rushing towards him. She was tall and lithe, with straight golden hair that hung down her back. Her skirts floated around her long legs, showing just the faintest hint of a nicely turned ankle. Her face was completely perfect. She had a pouty mouth and sky blue eyes. She looked every inch the perfect Seelie lady.
Cian didn’t want to fuck her either, but he suddenly remembered that Beck did and had, and probably would again.
“Liadan.” Cian was happy that he remembered her name. He concentrated and pulled the relevant information out of his brain.
Liadan O’Neill was a young widow. She had fled Tir na nÒg before the plane had been closed. Her husband had died a few years back in a hunting accident. Beck had been visiting her for roughly a year now. He had hoped Cian and Liadan would get along. Beck liked to share women with Cian, but Cian couldn’t stand the sight of her. She was cold. He had no idea why Beck couldn’t see how calculating she was.
Her lovely face fell. There was a wealth of disgusted disappointment in her voice, and Cian remembered she didn’t like him, either. They had a mutual disapproval society going. “Cian, where’s Beckett? I heard from the trolls that he was back from his hunting trip. They saw him riding in from the forest.”
She had placed her hands on her hips, all attempts at ladylike perfection gone. She wouldn’t waste the effort on him. Cian laughed at that thought. He sobered slightly. She’d said trolls with great distaste. She was a sidhe who thought all other Fae creatures were beneath her.
“I don’t know.” Cian was able to answer with complete truthfulness. For once, his blank mind was a blessing. It did give him a good reason to be down here, though. Beck had been gone and then returned. Big brother had likely taken one look at him and ordered him to bathe. It explained everything.
“Well, ain’t that surprising?” Liadan mocked. Her perfect features made for a perfect sneer. “You are completely good for nothing. I don’t know how your brother puts up with you.”
“And I don’t see how he can stand to touch you long enough to get off,” Cian shot back as he walked toward the edge of the pond, his feet dragging in the mud. The soap seemed to have floated away. Why was he here?
“I take care of him just fine.” Liadan stood looking at him with one hand on her hip. She seemed supremely sure of her own attractions. “He loves me, you know.”
“No, he doesn’t.” Even with all his trouble, Cian knew he would remember if Beck was in love. If Beck was in love, then it followed that he would be in love, too. Liadan had never understood the link between symbiotic twins. She treated them like completely separate beings when they weren’t. If Beck’s heart was engaged, then Cian wouldn’t be able to help himself. He would fall in love, too. He shook his head. Why had the name Meggie suddenly shot through his brain? He didn’t know a Meggie. There wasn’t anyone named that in the village. Or was there?
Liadan tossed the towel his way. “You’re just too stupid to remember. Beck and I are getting married one of these days.”
Cian waded out of the pond, wrapped the towel around his waist, and started back up toward the cottage. He still remembered where he lived, at least. He didn’t pick up the clothes he had brought with him. They didn’t matter. “No, you’re not. He won’t marry you. You aren’t a bondmate.”