Anyway, let me know!!!! I would love to meet you!!!!!
Love,
Vivica
To: Sean <psychodramabeautyqueen@freemail.com>
Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>
Re: You
Thanks so much for your e-mail, but really, Sean, I didn’t do anything. You are the one who took the brave step of admitting your true feelings to your family and, more important, to yourself. While it’s unfortunate that certain members of your family weren’t thrilled by the news, at least you can be satisfied that you were as honest with them as you could be. I hope you’ll understand that their concern for you stems from their deep love, and maybe from a little bit of fear over something that might be foreign to them. It’s up to you to try to educate them, and let them know that the choices you’re making aren’t self-destructive at all, but choices based entirely on your love for them, yourself, and for Sarah.
One thing Mitch mentioned that I almost forgot: Isn’t it true that your grandfather left each of his grandchildren two hundred thousand dollars, to be held in trust until they turn eighteen?
Well, aren’t you nineteen?
If your parents continue to refuse to pay for your schooling, couldn’t you use the money your grandfather left you to pay for it yourself?
Just a thought.
Hope to see you again soon.
Kate
To: Jason Trent <jason.trent@trentcapitcal.com>
Fr: Stacy Trent <IH8BARNEY@freemail.com>
Re: Janice
Look, it would only be a couple of weeks. You know the kids love her. So what’s the big deal? I’ll ask her to wear headphones if she’s going to put on any Tori Amos. Don’t be so unreasonable. I put up with YOUR relatives all the time.
Stacy
P.S. We’re out of Honey Nut Cheerios.
To: Stacy Trent <IH8BARNEY@freemail.com>
Fr: Jason Trent <jason.trent@trentcapitcal.com>
Re: Janice
Excuse me, but none of MY relatives are likely to quote Ani Di Franco at the dinner table. All of MY relatives are in jail, where they belong.
You’re asking too much, Stace. I mean, what are you going to do when Haley and Brittany want to start dyeing THEIR hair green, too?
Jason
P.S. We employ an au pair, a gardener, a housekeeper, a pool boy, and a cook. None of THEM can run out to the store to get Honey Nut Cheerios?I have to stop and get them on my way home? What do we pay THEM for?
To: Jason Trent <jason.trent@trentcapitcal.com>
Fr: Stacy Trent <IH8BARNEY@freemail.com>
Re: Janice
Excuse me, we entertain your brother and his wife and child nearly once a week. HE is not in jail.
And if Haley or Brittany end up wanting to dye their hair green, we’ll tell them they can, when they are Janice’s age.
Come on, Jason, this is important. Not just because I think Mom is going to pay somebody to kidnap Janice and have her sent to Utah for deprogramming, but because I think Mitch finally met a girl he really likes. He just needs some time alone with her to . . . you know.
S
P.S. God, it’s just a box of cereal, what is your problem?
To: Stacy Trent <IH8BARNEY@freemail.com>
Fr: Jason Trent <jason.trent@trentcapitcal.com>
Re: Janice
Oh, so now I’m supposed to let your sister live with us so your brother can get laid? I’ll tell you what, Janice can come to stay if you promise SHE’LL get the Cheerios. But she’s not driving the Range Rover!
Jason
To: Katydid <katydid@freemail.com>
Fr: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Re: You
Haven’t heard from you in a while. What are you doing? Has he called yet?
The T.O.D. is on a full-scale rampage today. She’s already made the receptionists cry. She told them they couldn’t do the filing anymore for overtime, they have to file during office hours. They want to know how they are supposed to be in the file room AND answer the phones at the desk, and the T.O.D. just said, “Work it out,” and slammed her office door.
If she doesn’t watch it, people are going to start burning her in effigy.
Where are you, anyway? I called and got no answer.
J
To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Katydid <katydid@freemail.com>
Re: Me
I just went out to grab the paper. You know. That whole job thing?
Is Steph
Oh, crap, the doorman’s buzzing, hold on.
East Side Floral Company
“Say it with Flowers”
1125 York Avenue • New York New York, 10028.
To: Kate Mackenzie care of Dolly Vargas. 610 East End Avenue, Penthouse A.
Thanks for everything the other night. You were great with Janice. Can we try dinner again sometime? Soon?
signed, Mitch
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Whadja get?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Are you crazy? Don’t IM me. You’re at work, you’re going to get fired, just like me.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Are you kidding? With you gone, Amy’s having to take on the LZs until we find a replacement. She’s got so many PAFs to get through, she can’t even find a spare moment to plan her reception. It’s killing her. I’ve never been more assured of my job security. Now spill. Whadja get????
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Oh. Flowers.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
FROM HIM??????
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Yes.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Describe.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Yellow roses this time. Two dozen.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Um, if you don’t want him, I’ll take him.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Back off! You’re married.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Trade?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Um, no, thank you.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Bitch. So now what are you going to do?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
I don’t know. Look for a job?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
I MEAN ABOUT THE BOY!!!!!!!!
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Remember Professor Wingblade?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
How could I forget? You only quote him every five minutes.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Well, remember how he said before you can learn to love someone else, you have to learn to love yourself?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
No. I never went to his stupid class. You didn’t have to. All the test questions were multiple choice and were straight out of the back of the book.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Well, he used to say that. And the thing is . . . I think he’s right.
Sleaterkinneyfan: