Ew, Skiboy is still nuzzling me. He is taking this whole thing way too far. If he doesn’t watch it, I may have to break up with him right in front of Dolly and Peter. Get off—why is the doorman buzzing at freaking midnight?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
So? What’s happening?
Sleaterkinney:
Oh my God. Where are you?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
I’m upstairs, in Peter’s office. His assistant Penny is letting me use the intern’s computer. So WHAT’S HAPPENING?????
Sleaterkinneyfan:
No. Uh-uh. No way. You go first. What happened after Tim and Eddie and I left? Come on. SPILL.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
You mean, after we made Skiboy put a steak on his eye?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Poor Skiboy. He never saw it coming, did he?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
I know! I never had a guy hit another guy over me. I mean, once at a New Year’s party Scroggs felt me up, but Dale just thought it was funny.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
When we walked in and Mitch saw that big dope with his arms all draped around you, I really thought he was going to have a coronary. Mitch, I mean. He hit him HARD. Does Dolly mind?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
About Skiboy’s black eye? Or her grand piano?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Both. Either.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
I think she was more worried about the piano than Skiboy. But that thing needed tuning anyway.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Okay. So what happened after the steak?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Well, Mitch suggested we go out for a drink. To celebrate.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
At MIDNIGHT? Where the hell did you go???
Sleaterkinneyfan:
His place.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
You spill it all right NOW.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Not on IM! What if the T.O.D. is lurking?
Sleaterkinneyfan:
She’s lurked her last. But you’re right. E-mail me. I want DETAILS.
Sleaterkinneyfan:
logged off
Sleaterkinneyfan:
logged off
To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>
Re: Last night
First of all, can I just say, because I don’t think I was really all that intelligible last night, I was so stunned, what an incredible, cool, giving, generous, cool, smart, incredible friend you are? NO ONE has ever done anything like this for me before. I mean, you and Tim risked your JOBS for me. That is just the sweetest thing anyone has ever, ever, ever done for me.
I mean it. I just wish there was something I could do for you.
Kate
To: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>
Fr: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Last night
Those weren’t the kinds of details I was looking for.
And duh. You are my best friend, Kate. Of course I’m going to help you any way I can.
Besides, I didn’t really do anything. It was all Mitch’s idea. He talked to Tim. He hired Eddie. All I did was come back to the office last night after everybody had gone home and signed them both in. They did the rest . . . well, with Tim’s help.
You would, I know, have done the same for me.
Now. Details please. And remember that I am an old married lady and on massive amounts of hormones. So make it good.
J
To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>
Re: Last night
Okay. Well.
You know, after you guys came in with the good news—at least, I hope it will turn out to be good news. If Peter really does what he said he was going to do, anyway—and Mitch hit Skiboy and I pretended to break up with him (SB, I mean) and we got the whole thing straightened out and everything, Mitch was like, “Let’s get out of here,” and I was like, “Why?” and he was like, “Because of that,” and there was Skiboy, you know, all dejected on the couch.
And it WAS kind of depressing, what with Dolly and Peter making out right in front of him.
So, Jen, I went with him. You know he doesn’t live that far away, it was just a few blocks’ walk, and it really WAS just supposed to be to have drinks until things back at Dolly’s cooled off a little. . . . I didn’t imagine it would be anything more than a drink or two, and all, because you know I thought his little sister was still there.
But then we got to his place and I asked where Sean was and he said she’d left a note saying she was going to his sister’s in Greenwich. . . .
. . . and that’s when I realized I was in big trouble.
And oh! Jen, I know I shouldn’t have, but he has such really nice lips, and he’d just committed a burglary for me, and hit Skiboy, and his knuckles were all raw so I was running them under the tap in the kitchen, when I happened to look up, and there were those lips, and . . .
Well, is it really my fault, what happened next?
Jen, he was so gentle and nice and STRONG (he CARRIED me from the kitchen to the bedroom) and underneath his clothes he is as much of a superhero as the ones on his ties, that wheelchair-basketball thing must be some workout, let me tell you.
And I know I’ve only been with one other guy before, and don’t have a wide and varied experience to draw upon, but, Jen, I have to say . . . lawyers really DO do it better.
Or maybe it’s just Mitch.
In any case, I didn’t get much sleep, but I don’t care, I don’t feel tired or anything, just . . . HAPPY! Happier than I’ve felt in weeks. Maybe even years. Jen! He loves me! He told me! He loved me from the moment he first saw me, in the conference room, when I was dribbling on about chicken in garlic sauce! Remember how I told you about that?
Well, the whole time, he loved me, and was trying to figure out ways to get me to love him back, seeing as how he knew I hated lawyers, what with the whole Mrs. Lopez thing. He thought that if he could prove Amy lied about the letter that day I gave my second deposition, it would show me that he was really on my side—on Mrs. Lopez’s side—and that then I might start to like him. But then the whole thing backfired, and instead of getting Amy in trouble, he got ME in trouble, and he just felt awful, and, JEN!!!!
HE LOVES ME!!!!
Oh, what did I ever do to deserve such a great guy?
He wants me to move in.
But you would be really proud of me, Jen. I said no. I said it was too soon. I said I needed to get my job back first—or some job, anyway—and then we could talk about it.
We made breakfast together, and shared a cab downtown. JUST LIKE HARRISON FORD AND MELANIE GRIFFITH INWORKING GIRL !!!!!!
Oh my God, I’m so happy, I’m telling you, even if I don’t get my job back, I wouldn’t care. I have HIM!
Well, okay, I wouldn’t care much.
Oh, all right, I’d care. Have you heard anything?