I can’t wait until you meet her. I think she’ll almost balance out Amy.
Almost.
Last night was the most incredible night of my life. Is this how you felt, the first time you and Jason . . . you know?
No. Strike that. I don’t want to know. The thought of the two of you. . . .
Gotta go.
Mitch
To: Mitchell Hertzog <Mitchell.herstog@hwd.com>
Fr: Stacy Trent <IH8BARNEY@freemail.com>
Re: Last night
Oh, what, the thought of me doing my husband makes you want to barf?
Well, never mind. It does me, too.
Just kidding.
So, um, congrats on you and the girl. She must be something, if she’s got YOU talking wedding bells. But I always knew you’d find the right girl eventually.
By the way, did you hear about Stuart’s genetic test results? Turns out he’s a carrier for Tay Sach’s disease. Which means that somewhere back in our genealogical past, we were Jewish. No big surprise, is it, that we should have had a relative who, upon witnessing the pogroms, conveniently converted?
Mom is in fits over the whole thing. She thinks the country club is going to kick us out if they find out. Jason was like, “Why would she even want to belong to an organization that discriminates against ethnicity—or anything else for that matter?”
Poor Jason. You think he’d have learned by now, wouldn’t you?
Hey, so, what was Sean up to while you and Little Miss Dreamgirl were reaching the heights of ecstasy on those brown sheets of yours (we so need to take a little trip to Bloomies)?
Stace
To: Stacy Trent <IH8BARNEY@freemail.com>
Fr: Mitchell Hertzog <mitchell.hertzog@hwd.com>
Re: Sean
What are you talking about? Sean left me a note saying she was staying with you this weekend. Isn’t she there?
Mitch
THE NEW YORK JOURNAL
New York City’s Leading Photo-Newspaper
Peter Hargrave
Chief Executive Officer
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6000
Amy Jenkins
Director
Human Resources
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
Dear Ms. Jenkins:
This letter serves to inform you that as of today’s date, your employment at theNew York Journal has been terminated. Your belongings from your workstation have been inventoried and packed. You are to be escorted from the premises by Security, and have been listed as Persona Non Grata at this location. Should you need to speak to anyone regarding the termination of your position at theNew York Journal , you will need to do so by telephone. Your initials below indicate receipt of this letter.
Peter Hargrave
pc/PH
THE NEW YORK JOURNAL
New York City’s Leading Photo-Newspaper
Security Division
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6890
MEMO
To: All Personnel
Fr: Security Administration
Re: Persona Non Grata
Persona Non Grata Notification
Please note that the below named individual has been classified Persona Non Grata in 216 W. 57th Street as of the date of this notification, and will continue to remain so indefinitely. This individual is not to be allowed on or near the premises of 216 W. 57th Street at any time during the term of above sanction.
Name: Amy D. Jenkins
ID#: 3164-000-5001
Description: (photo attached)
White female, 30 years of age
5 feet, 6 inches, 120130 lbs.
Blonde hair, blue eyes
Contact Security immediately upon sighting of above individual.
THE NEW YORK JOURNAL
New York City’s Leading Photo-Newspaper
Peter Hargrave
Chief Executive Officer
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6000
MEMO
To: All Departments
Fr: Peter Hargrave, CEO
Re: Human Resources Director
Please be aware that Amy Jenkins is no longer with the company. The newly appointed acting Human Resources Director is Jennifer Sadler. Please welcome Ms. Sadler to her new position. We are very pleased and fortunate that she agreed to take on a position of so much responsibility with so little advance notice. Thank you, Jennifer!
pc/PH
THE NEW YORK JOURNAL
New York City’s Leading Photo-Newspaper
Jennifer Sadler
Director
Human Resources
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6870
MEMO
To: All Departments
Fr: Jennifer Sadler, Director, Human Resources
Re: Kate Mackenzie
As my first act as director of Human Resources, I’d like to reinstate Kate Mackenzie to the division. I’m sure you all agree that Kate was sorely missed. Kate will be taking over my former position. Thank you, and welcome back, Kate!
THE NEW YORK JOURNAL
New York City’s Leading Photo-Newspaper
Security Division
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6890
MEMO
To: All Personnel
Fr: Security Administration
Re: Persona Non Grata
Persona Non Grata Lift Notification
Please note that the below-named individual has been declassified as Persona Non Grata in 216 W. 57th Street as of the date of this notification.
Name: Kathleen Mackenzie
ID#: 3164-000-6794
Description: (photo attached)
White female, 25 years of age
5 feet, 4 inches, 120-130 lbs.
Blonde hair, blue eyes
The above individual may enter the building freely.
THE NEW YORK JOURNAL
New York City’s Leading Photo-Newspaper
Features Division
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
MEMO
To: All Departments
Fr: Features Division
Re: Promotion of Jen Sadler
Reinstatement of Kate Mackenzie
We, the undersigned, staff members in the Features Department of theNew York Journal, applaud the promotion of Jen Sadler to the position of Human Resources Director, and the reinstatement of Kate Mackenzie. We hope these brilliant hiring decisions will be followed by yet another: the reinstatement of Ida Lopez as dessert cart operator in the senior-staff dining room.
In the meantime: NO MORE TRUST GAMES!!!! WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
George Sanchez
Melissa Fuller-Trent
Nadine Wilcock-Salerno
Dolly Vargas
Sleaterkinneyfan:
Can you believe this??