“Rachel,” I groaned, so not in the mood for a fight.
“She’s pretty,” Rachel said. “Real pretty.”
Surprised, I gazed down into her eyes. She had a wild look about her that went beyond being high. “Are you all right?” It didn’t matter that we weren’t together anymore—she would always be my first girlfriend and I cared about her.
“No, but as soon as Brad Lawson gets me out of here, I’ll be flying.”
Brad Lawson. No surprise there. At one time, the thought of her with that douche bag would have driven me crazy, but now…now I just wanted her to be safe and to not hate me.
“I’m sorry, Rachel. I don’t want to hurt you, I just…”
“So that’s it?” she asked. “We’re really over.”
“It wasn’t good for a long time,” I replied softly.
“I know,” she replied. “I know,” she said again. “But it doesn’t make me feel any better to see you here with her.”
“It’s not what you think.”
“Oh?” she said. “What is it exactly?”
I glanced back toward Monroe and found her eyes on me. I shrugged. “I don’t know.” But it could be something big, I thought.
“Well,” Rachel said. “Maybe you should figure it out.”
We stared at each other for a long time, and then she reached up and hugged me, her mouth near my ear. “I miss you. Please tell me we can at least be friends.” She pulled away and looked up at me. “No one knows me like you do, Nathan, and I…I don’t want us to act like strangers, you know? It would just be wrong.” She sighed. “It would be so wrong. After everything. After Trevor.”
“I know.”
And then her friend Gia grabbed her arm and dragged her away from me.
After a few seconds, I turned and slid through the crowd, not stopping until I was inches from Monroe.
“I’m sorry,” I said, hating the way her eyes fell away from me.
For a second, I thought I’d blown everything. I thought my need to hurt and to lash out had ruined whatever it was that we had.
But then she moved her chair, and I knew things were going to be all right. A bit more of that weight left me, and I slid in beside her.
Brent and his buddy broke into some kind of hillbilly crap that Trevor would have loved, and after a few seconds, I relaxed enough to sit and watch. Link, the drummer in our band, was a table over and grinned, his arm around a redhead. I nodded but kept my focus on Brent.
Monroe and I didn’t talk or even look at each other, but when my hand crept over hers, she didn’t move away. Her fingers were cool and I loved how they fit inside mine. I felt as if I’d just won the war or something.
Brent played for nearly twenty minutes more, his eyes laughing as the girls up front sang along to everything that came out of his mouth. His buddy, a guy I vaguely knew from a town in the next parish, was pretty good, and by the time they were done, I was completely relaxed.
Was it the music? Maybe. Though I’m guessing it had more to do with the fact that Monroe’s hand was still in mine and her bare thigh was pressed up against my leg.
Brent finished off with a flamboyant chord run and then leaned over to whisper something to his buddy. The guy slid from his chair and jumped off the stage, his eyes on me, his guitar outstretched.
“Hey guys, why don’t y’all make a lot of noise and maybe we can convince Everets to get his ass up here and play for us.” Brent was standing, clapping his hands and gesturing to the crowd behind me.
His buddy grinned. “Dude, you should get up there.”
Monroe nudged me with her leg and I glanced down at her.
“I’d love to hear you play,” she whispered.
My eyes moved from her shining eyes down to her mouth. To her lips that were slightly glossed and so damned kissable they should be illegal. I thought of the week before. I thought of our kiss.
And I thought of what she’d said.
I jumped up and grabbed the guitar that was held in front of me, but before taking the stage beside Brent, I bent forward, my mouth close to her ear.
“I’ll play for you, Monroe. Just for you. But remember it will cost you.”
She shivered a little, and I tucked a strand of hair behind her ears as I straightened. The weight that was on my shoulders was nearly gone, and the girl in front of me was the reason for it. I knew that it would come back. It would come back with a vengeance, but I was willing to forget about it for tonight.
I was willing to see where this was gonna take me.
“Huh,” she said huskily. “What’s the price?”
I chuckled, a grin in place as someone let loose a long wolf whistle.
“I play for you and in return, I want that kiss.”
“Kiss?”
“Yeah. The one you promised. I’m gonna collect tonight.”
Chapter Nineteen
Monroe
I could have watched Nathan play his guitar and sing all night.
He was that good. No. He was better than good. He was charismatic and hot and sexy and talented and…
I shivered just thinking of how he’d bent low over the mike, guitar cradled in his hands when he sang, and of how his eyes had never left me for the entire time he’d been onstage.
Not once.
He was riveting, and I was still buzzing from the high I’d gotten watching him perform. Still buzzing from what he’d said to me.
It was just after midnight by the time we pulled up to Nate’s place. There was no moon and no stars, so it was pretty dark. I stopped the car behind his father’s truck and tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
Have you ever tried to swallow something that was as big as a freaking golf ball? It’s not fun. Especially when you’re trying to act like everything is cool, when clearly, everything isn’t.
It was the total opposite of cool. It was hot. And scary. And exciting. And did I say hot?
My hair stuck to the back of my neck and I pushed at it impatiently, exhaling as I tried to wipe my damp palms along my dress without him noticing.
Nate hadn’t made a move to collect his payment yet, and I was pretty sure now was it.
I rotated my shoulders and glanced up at his house. It was as dark as everything else. His parents had either gone out themselves or they were in bed already. Either way, it felt like there was no one around for miles.
“Are you gonna shut this thing off?”
“What?” I jumped at the sound of his voice. The little bit of light from the dashboard illuminated his face—his strong chin, high cheekbones, and a mouth that made me think of things.
It made me think about the kiss we’d shared the week before. And what his body had felt like pressed up against mine. With his longish hair and that little bit of stubble on his chin, he looked dangerous. He looked hot.
And though he looked perfect, I knew that he was as un-perfect as I was. We were damaged, the two of us, in ways not a lot of people could understand. And for the first time since all the bad stuff had happened to me, I didn’t feel so alone. I didn’t feel like the freak with too much shit inside her. The one who couldn’t talk. The one who fell into herself and hid.
I felt almost…normal.
I felt like a girl, sitting in a car with a boy. A boy who she liked.
I turned the key and settled back in my seat, not sure what to do or say, and for the first time, the monumental inexperience of my life hit me in the face.
I bet Rachel would have no problem knowing what to do.
I’d seen her grab Nate at the Coffee House. I didn’t have to be introduced to know she was his ex-girlfriend. She’d looked at Nate as if he was a yummy piece of chocolate. One that she’d tasted. And when she looked my way, I could tell that she still wanted him.