“Oh, thank you, thank you so much,” I say.
As I make my way up to the floor, I turn the items over in my hand—lipstick, mascara, and blush.
I can do this, I think.
I lose track of time, and before I know it, an hour has passed. Those worthless elevators. Running up and down eight flights is exhausting. When I arrive back at her room and pull the curtain aside, Alyssa scoots into a sitting position to talk to me.
“Told you I’d be back.” I hug her.
She gives me a partial smile. “What’re you up to?”
“I got makeup!” I bounce to her bedside.
“What?”
“You heard me.” I pull the chair to her bedside. The sunlight fades as the sun sets, so the room darkens with shadows from the candles. “How about lipstick, mascara, and blush?”
“What do I have to lose?” she asks, nudging me.
I open the mascara and begin looping it through her eyelashes. Putting on makeup feels awkward. I’d never actually used it myself, but I remember watching my mother do it years ago. She’d sit in front of her mirror and curl her lashes before running the thick, bristled mascara wand through them. Her eyes looked sultry and mysterious when she’d finish. I always wanted to try but never had the chance, and my heart sinks a little just thinking about it.
“I hope you trust me.” I finish her eyes, and plug the mascara up again. Her lashes flutter as she gazes up at me. Their beauty astounds me.
“I do, silly,” she says. “I’m just a little worried about your beautician skills. That’s all.”
I snort at her reply. If she only knew how beautiful she really is. I finish with the blush and lipstick. “Do you want to take a look? Or would you rather not scream at yourself?”
“Very funny.” She opens her eyes wide, almost as if testing her new lashes. She grimaces for a moment, breathing in and out in concentrated gasps.
“Wait. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. It only hurts when I move, so I can’t complain. Don’t worry. I can suck it up.”
“Do you want me to go get a nurse?”
“No. I said I’m fine.” Then I remember she has the only morphine bag in the entire hospital and it shrinks daily. I take the tubing in my hands and examine it. “What’s this?”
“That’s the clamp. They use that to control the amount of morphine they’re giving me. Make sure you don’t touch it. If you roll the ball on the clamp toward the bag, the morphine will pour into my vein and I’d get too much too fast.”
“Let me help you to the chair, then I’ll push you to the bathroom so you can get a glimpse.”
She struggles to move, so I help lift her off the bed and onto the seat. Her body weighs nothing, even for me. The legs of the chair scrape as I push her toward the doorway. “Close your eyes, and don’t you dare open them until I count to three. One… two… keep them closed. No peeking!”
“I’m not!”
“Three!” Her face says it all, her eyes widen and her mouth forms into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. Her eyes glaze over as her hands gently trace her cheekbones.
“I forgot what I looked like.” She smiles. “This virus has been whooping my butt. And you just showed it who’s boss! Where’d you learn how to put makeup on?”
“I used to watch my mother years ago… Anyway, can’t screw up too bad with three items. There’s only so many things you can do with a tube of mascara.” I shrug the tears off with a smile.
Then the shy, black-haired nurse peeks her head in, looking at me. She gasps at the sight of Alyssa. “My God, sweetie! You’re so beautiful,” she says.
Alyssa’s smile stretches from ear to ear. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Am I allowed to keep it on, or are they going to make me wash it off?” Alyssa asks.
“I won’t let that happen.” I kneel at her bedside. “Hey, if I was a boy I’d date you in a heartbeat!” She doesn’t answer, but I can tell she’s pleased as she turns her face to view it from all angles.
Then with quiet humor she confesses, “I’ve never been on a date before and obviously I’ll never get that chance.”
I look at her and smile. “Me neither, so I guess that makes us equal.” I laugh. Her hand moves to cover her brand as she glances in the mirror again.
“Hold on one second.” I pull a sheet from the clean load. No one will miss one sheet. I rip it into a rough shape of what I want, throwing the shreds in the trash, all while she watches.
“Okay, now just work with me. Lift your head for a second.” She raises her head, and I wrap the sheet around her neck to cover her brand like a scarf. I tie a small knot and look at her. “Now what do you think?” Tears creep out of her eyes and make small paths down her face.
“Better,” is all she manages to say.
I drag the chair back to her bed, lift her, and tuck her in. She’s frail, and yet, stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. Being with her opens my heart. Good people really do exist here. That brings me to Cole—I don’t even know what to think of him. A knock on the door interrupts our conversation and Sutton steps in.
“It’s after seven. Cole’s waiting for you.”
“For me?” Alyssa winks at him. “Just kidding.”
“All right.” I give her a hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” she says, still beaming.
When he shuts the door behind us, I realize I might not have time alone with Sutton again until tomorrow, if he’s even around. “Can I ask you for a favor?”
“Depends on what the favor is,” he says.
I tell him my plan. He seems hesitant at first but then agrees it’d be the best thing for Alyssa. Now, I have to talk to Cole and I’m more worried about his reaction. After the past few weeks, I don’t want to push too much, but this situation calls for a particular kind of compassion.
I saunter up to the desk where Cole and Zeus wait. He continues talking to Amber, ignoring the fact that I stand behind him. I lean against the wall and watch until the flirting session ends. Amber gets out of her chair, stands behind him rubbing his shoulders and asks, “Do you want more to drink?”
Ugh. She might as well drool on his head while she’s at it.
She doesn’t even wait for a response. She walks to the fridge and bends over to grab his water. I swear he checks out her backside. Vomit. Her pants slip down, showing a bright pink thong. I really didn’t need to see her butt-floss, but there’s no way to avoid it. She returns with his water and he sips it casually. Her triumphant eyes meet mine.
“Oh, didn’t see you there,” she exclaims with pure joy.
Cole turns around. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough,” I say.
His face turns red with embarrassment. “I’ve been here since seven waiting for you,” he says.
“I know,” I say.
He gets up, grabs my arm, and pulls me down the hall. He stops. “What’s wrong with you?” He asks while pointing his finger in my face, and I have the slightest urge to bite it. “When I give you an order, you obey it.” He gives me a stern look.
“I was finishing up with a patient, sorry. I’ll pay closer attention to the time from now on,” I say. His expression changes and he releases his grip.
The truth is that time doesn’t matter to me when it comes to Alyssa. That girl has changed me in so many ways. Who ever knew a thirteen-year-old could teach me so many things? She’s the only one who’s accepted me for who I am. It’s something I’ve never had, and I’m not willing to let go, but I have to change my approach if I have any chance of getting him to agree to my plan.