“You’re just saying that to make me feel better, but I don’t. This whole mess is my fault. When I got those orders, everything within me fought against leaving. And now, look at you.” Yeah, that makes me feel better.
“Will you get into trouble?” I don’t want him to grovel anymore.
“I don’t think so. No one knows but Sutton. He helped me take care of the bodies so I doubt anyone will find out,” he says with confidence.
“Won’t the other guards notice?”
“They’ll notice, but they’ll never know. The back stairs aren’t monitored, so they can only guess what happened and with all the violence in the Hole, it’s nothing new. Anyway, I’m betting most of the guards will assume those guys took off,” he says.
“That’s good,” I mumble, staring toward the window.
“How are you feeling? Forget about me.” He leans closer, taking my limp hands into his strong warm grip.
“I hurt,” is all I can say to describe my physical and emotional pain.
“God, I’m sorry…” he says, his eyes downcast. “If I could rewind time I would—” I cover his mouth with my hand to silence him.
“Cole, I’m only here because of you and Zeus. It just might take me some time to heal.” If I ever heal from this.
Someone knocks softly on the door and Cole hurries to answer it. Sutton drops a chart and it clatters to the ground when he sees me. The noise rattles my brain and I close my eyes. I’m sure my injuries look worse than they feel, which is pretty bad.
His hair reminds me of a bird’s nest. His clothes are as wrinkled as a rippled potato chip and his glasses slip sideways off his nose. Something is seriously wrong with this man.
“My God, am I glad to see you’re awake,” Sutton says as he sits down beside me.
“Oh, Sutton, I’m so sorry. I should’ve listened to you.”
Sutton grabs my hand and I blink back my tears. Without warning, Cole slams his chair back and leaves the room. His exit confuses me, but I focus on Sutton. His face brings me comfort.
“You’re safe now and that’s all that matters. No one is to blame here, especially you. Cole is very angry with himself, and the sight of you tore him to shreds. Of course… he blames himself. That’s who he is. Just give him time and don’t worry about him. You need to worry about recovering now anyway,” Sutton says as if reading my mind. “You took quite the beating. You cracked your skull, and I had to clean out some bone fragments. Sorry about shaving your hair. There was no way around that. I had to clean the wound and then I stapled you shut. You need to take antibiotics for ten days to help insure no infection sets in. Other than that, you’ll heal just fine, my dear.” I know he’s witnessed worse crimes in the Hole, but his face shows genuine concern. He adjusts the pillow behind me and leans me forward to assess the rest of my injuries.
He pushes the chair away from Zeus and it dawns on me—Zeus didn’t follow Cole. He stayed with me. This dog has officially won me over.
I reach my hand toward the end of the bed and feel Zeus’s wet tongue meet my fingers. I take my arm away and pat the spot next to me. Zeus crawls up next to me and lies against my side. His body takes over half the space on the bed, but I don’t mind. Sutton’s eyes almost bug out of his head.
“Uhhh, I’m not sure that’s the best idea.” I raise my eyebrows at him in a challenge and he lets it go without saying anything more. He leans over and squeezes my shoulders.
“You shouldn’t go anywhere without Cole. Is that clear, young lady? When Cole trains, I’ll arrange to have another guard that I personally trust to monitor your safety.”
“What about work? How will you explain my disappearance for a week?”
“I’ll forge the paperwork. It’s not the first time and won’t be the last time. Trust me,” he says.
“I don’t know that I trust anyone.” A wave of guilt overrides my anger when I realize that Cole and Sutton are the only reason I’m still alive. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Sutton’s compassionate eyes meet mine and he carefully pats my hand.
“Look, I know this is hard. It tore me to pieces to find you in the shape that you’re in, but you have to trust me. I’ll take care of the details. Cole’s life and yours are at stake. He could be executed for his part in this.” He continues, “The few guards who have protection orders have no room for error. On top of that, he killed other guards to save you. Do you understand what I’m telling you?” He pauses with raised eyebrows in expectation. “You think this is bad, and it is, but it can always get worse in here.” I can see the seriousness in his eyes over the rim of his glasses.
“Okay.”
I don’t really have a choice. Cole and I will spend a lot of time together as usual, and I shouldn’t do anything stupid when he’s not there. I shift my weight to my other side, gritting my teeth against the twinges of pain that shoot through every muscle.
“Ugh. I feel helpless laying here. Can I please get up?” Staying in bed only exacerbates my anxieties.
“Sorry, but you’re on bed rest for the remainder of the day. With help, you can use the bathroom, but otherwise, just lay here and rest. You might have a concussion too. I couldn’t do an MRI since you’re here so I’m erring on the cautious side.” He leans back into the chair and evaluates me carefully. “There’s one more thing we need to discuss.” He lowers his eyes, and folds his hands in his lap.
I seriously don’t want to talk anymore. I just want to be alone. I’m scared of what he’s going to say next, but he catches me completely off guard.
“I know everything about you from my reports. I know you’re aware of that part. In the report, is a detailed description of your sin and plain as day it says—‘The prisoner was caught by her mother having sexual intercourse with an unidentified male.’”
I nod my head, already knowing this. The newspapers always publish a list of sinners and their crimes. Why are we going over this now? I become tense with the reminder.
“Here’s the part that confuses me. You were found guilty as a sinner, branded, and sent to the Hole. You didn’t have to fight this in the least, did you?”
I look at him and feel lost. What on earth is he talking about? I never had a chance to plead my innocence. They found me guilty without an investigation and hauled me away. There’s no such thing as due process.
“I’m not sure I know what you’re asking me.” I scrunch my forehead in confusion.
“I performed a test to make sure you weren’t raped. Cole wasn’t certain if he’d gotten to you in time. Thank God it was negative. You were never raped—but not only will that test reveal a recent sexual encounter, it can report any sexual intercourse that’s happened. It scans the tissues and checks if anything has been stretched, torn, or irritated. It then shows us if you are intact.” He leans over and reaches for my hands. I take a deep breath knowing what’s about to come out of his mouth. “My dear, you’re a virgin and that’s a medical fact.”
I squeeze his hands hard as my eyes fill with tears. One of them travels over my cheekbone and drips off onto my collarbone. I meet his calm and caring eyes.
Finally. Finally. “At least you know the truth.”
“I don’t understand why you didn’t proclaim your innocence from the beginning. You shouldn’t be here,” Sutton says while shaking his head.
“It wouldn’t have mattered.” I shrug my shoulders and feel the pain jolt through me again.