“I was jealous,” he said simply. “Damn it, I’ve never been jealous of anything or anybody before in my life, and now all of a sudden... I didn’t know how to handle it, Jessie. I wanted to scream at you, but I wanted to love you, too. I wanted to fight for you, but I held all the feelings in, afraid I might upset you too much. Believe me, Jessie, if you weren’t pregnant, we would have had this out long ago. I’ve never been more miserable in my life than these last months, being near you but unable to touch you, and afraid to speak my mind. And you kept encouraging Rodrigo—”
“I did not,” she interrupted tartly. Then her voice softened. “Rodrigo is sweet and entertaining, but h ... he’s not you, Chase. I felt nothing at all when he kissed me that one time. I guess just any man won’t do for me.”
Before Chase could reply, Jessie cried out again. Magdalena came in to say that she’d sent for the doctor. She tried to get Chase to leave, but he wouldn’t budge. It wasn’t proper, and she left shaking her head.
Jessie relaxed and gave Chase a reassuring smile. “She’s right. You’d better leave. It’s bad enough that I have to listen to myself yell, but you shouldn’t have to.”
“Don’t be absurd.”
“No, I really would feel better if I didn’t have to worry about you fainting.”
“It’s nothing to joke about, Jessie!”
“I’m sorry, Chase. Would you wait outside, please? I just don’t want you to see me like this.”
He couldn’t refuse such an earnest request, but he left very slowly, his face a mask of worry, looking back at the bed with every step.
“Chase.” Jessie caught him as he was going out the door. “I love you, too.”
Chapter 48
“PEDRO?” Jessie exclaimed. “Did she really name you Pedro?”
“Surprised?” Chase grinned.
“But I would have thought she’d scorn anything Spanish.”
“Actually, I think my mother enjoyed feeling sorry for herself.”
“But why did you change the name?”
“With my dark hair and a name like that, I was marked a foreigner in Chicago. Kids can be pretty tough on foreigners. I was fighting every damn day, it seemed. So I changed the name— and dared anyone to remember the name Pedro.”
“But it’s a nice name, Pedro.” She grinned.
“You start calling me Pedro, and I’ll start calling you Kenneth.”
“That’s not funny!” Jessie cried.
“I didn’t think so, either.”
They laughed together and snuggled closer on the divan. In the next room, two-month-old Charles slept. A son who looked like his father and his grandfather. Both men were bursting with pride. Jessie liked to think it wasn’t only pride that lit up Chase’s eyes when he looked at his son. Perhaps it was happiness, too. Contentment. Certainly love. He did love that boy. And in the last two months, she had felt as secure in his love as Charles did.
Love wasn’t the fairy tale she’d once thought it was. Love was real and wonderful, and she gloried in it. Love was the heart of happiness, and Jessie had found her happiness in her husband and child.
Jessie kissed Chase on the cheek, and he turned his head, capturing her lips. She sighed as his hand caressed her back. She had learned to control her impetuous passion some of the time, for there was much to be said for anticipation. But a fiery union also had its merits. She looked over at the bed and sighed. It was still early.
“Have you given any more thought to what we’re going to do when we get back to America?” Jessie asked.
“I thought maybe we’d visit your mother for a while. I think Rachel will like my father.”
“Matchmaking, are you?”
“I have no intention of messing with anyone’s life except my own.”
“You’ve done a pretty good job there.” Jessie smiled. “We can’t stay with my mother forever, though.”
“Do you have something in mind?” he asked.
“I would like to start my ranch again. If you’re willing,” she said.
“But, Jessie, we can buy a house somewhere and raise our son. You don’t have to work.”
“And I can get lazy and fat and die of boredom, too,” Jessie came back saucily. “I want a ranch, Chase.
Don’t dismiss the idea.”
“Dismiss it?” He laughed. “As if you’d let me. Oh, Lord, I never dreamed I’d end up a rancher.”
“You mean it?” she asked excitedly.
“Yes,” he sighed. “But if it’s to be ranching, then we’ll do it right this time. Never mind the nonsense about just making ends meet. And I hope you don’t have your heart set on settling in Wyoming. Wouldn’t you rather start a new ranch someplace where it’s a little warmer? Texas or Arizona?”
“No,” she said firmly. “Winter might be a little cold in Wyoming—”
“A little!”
She grinned. “There are ways to get warm, ways that can be fun.”
“Will you teach me all of them?”
“If you ask me nicely.”
“Tease.”
“Charmer.”
“I love you, sweetheart.”