I pulled away and opened my eyes, and Ava looked so defeated that my heart nearly stopped. I didn’t want to hurt her. “Don’t make this harder for me,” I begged.
“It doesn’t have to be hard, Kiena,” she said, and like that night at the inn, she looked so confused. She just didn’t get it.
“It does,” I countered, taking another step back. “We can’t do this.”
“Why?”
“You’re still a princess.” I whispered it so nobody passing the door would hear, but it was harsh in my frustration.
Her eyebrows furrowed as if I’d wounded her. As if that was the worst reason I could’ve possibly come up with. “I told you I don’t care about my title.”
“The world cares, Ava,” I muttered. “Ronan, Valens, Cornwall, it’s all the same.” I made a broad gesture with my arms, “When all of this is over,” and I motioned between her and me, “this would end too. It’s not our choice to make.” Her eyes softened the slightest bit with understanding. “I’m not royal. I’m not even from a respected family. We don’t get to be together, you understand? It doesn’t matter what you want, and it certainly doesn’t matter what I want.” I sighed, and now that I’d said it aloud, my voice lowered with the defeat I felt. “I don’t know if that’s even what you wanted from me, but there you have it. Rules. One we can’t break because you’ve already won my heart, and now I’m begging you to leave it be.”
Ava took in a broken breath and held it for a long moment, swallowing down whatever emotion she felt before giving a soft nod. “I’m sorry.”
I shut my eyes, because what hurt the most was that she felt she had to apologize. “It was me,” I told her. “I never should’ve kissed you back.”
She shook her head. “I know the laws. I know them, I do. I just…” She never finished, just let out a heavy sigh. “Will you still come south?”
In an attempt not to feel so dismal, I said, “I’m uptight about you. Someone’s got to keep an eye.” Ava managed a tiny smile, but it didn’t look like she had anything left to say. “Should we go and search for answers?”
She nodded, and wandered to the back of the infirmary to grab a fresh roll of linen. She strode toward the entrance with it, but stopped when she reached me. “Kiena?” Even though I was already looking at her, I hummed curiously. “Yours is not the only heart that’s been won.” And as if to reassure me that she wasn’t upset, she put the linen roll in my hand. “Here, you left yours at the inn.”
She meant my chest wraps, and I hadn’t thought for a moment she’d have been paying that much attention, but she had, and that was painful. If there weren’t so much preventing it, I’d have given her my entire heart that very moment. Gods, she deserved it. But though her admission and her attentiveness changed nothing about our circumstances, it did change something, because I knew she was telling me what she wanted from me. Her motive was pure, and as thanks for that reassurance, I leaned over and allowed myself to plant a brief kiss to the side of her head. In response to it, she gave my forearm a fond squeeze, then retreated out the door without saying anything else.
I flattened the roll and put it into a pocket of my vest, following Ava out of the infirmary and back toward the main hall of the cavern. There were more people around now, so many that it seemed a small town resided within the mountain. Some of them looked at Ava and me curiously, but most didn’t appear to notice we were outsiders. Those who looked like civilians continued carrying loads of supplies to different destinations or stood around talking amongst themselves. All the others, at least half of everyone we saw, looked like some kind of warrior. Though I hadn’t felt threatened since we’d been here, I did find myself worried about just what kind of ‘warriors’ these were.
Kingston was nowhere in sight when we reached the main entrance cave, but I managed to catch a familiar face in a small group of children that were running by. “Oscar,” I stopped the boy. His group of friends continued on while he waited for me to say what I wanted, and I could tell he was impatient to chase after them. “Do you know where I could find Kingston?”
“Probably at the armory, my lady,” Oscar said, pointing straight down a passageway we hadn’t explored yet. “All the way down.” And he ran off after his friends before I could tell him thanks.
Ava and I ventured in the direction Oscar had told us, past more tunnels and chambers until we reached the end. There was no door that opened up into the armory because the cavern widened significantly the farther we got, until we were standing in an opening the size of the massive castle doors in Guelder. It wasn’t just an armory either. This portion of the cave was immense, so large that there was a small army of men and women training with all kinds of weapons. Broadswords and rapiers right ahead of us, archers visible at the distant rear, and other areas for hand to hand and maces and pole weapons. There was a blacksmith just to the left of the entrance, and a stockpile of weapons and supplies on our right.
“What is this place?” I muttered once more.
As I studied the large training ground and armory, I caught the eye of a familiar man standing around the swordsmen. When Kingston saw me, he hurried over, giving a small bow when he reached us.
“My ladies,” he greeted. He straightened up and looked at Ava. “How was your meal?”
“Delightful,” Ava told him, but her normal cheerfulness had been replaced by a somber curiosity.
I couldn’t take it anymore. “Is this a bandit hideout?” I blurted. “Are you thieves?”
Kingston laughed. “No,” he answered, unsuccessfully trying to wipe the smile off his face while he glanced around. “Not necessarily.” I didn’t know how to respond to that, I didn’t even know what that was supposed to mean, but I couldn’t keep Ava in dangerous company, and Kingston seemed to read some of that concern on my face. “I’d be more than happy to explain.”
He made a motion for us to follow, then walked over to the armory and sat down on a wooden box with the branded image of arrows on it. Ava and I did the same. However, Kingston didn’t start to explain the moment we got comfortable. I remembered that he’d wanted to speak to me alone, but instead of saying it bluntly, he extended an incredibly polite apology to Ava.
“I am sorry, my lady,” he told her, “but these secrets are best bestowed on one set of ears at a time.” Ava glanced at me. “If you’d like to explore,” Kingston told her, “Lady Kiena is more than welcome to tell you everything afterward.”
Ava gave me a questioning look, as if to make sure I was fine with that. I nodded. “I’ll be just here,” she told me, and while I was still unexpectedly comfortable, she seemed to have grown rather suspicious.
I smiled at her to let her know I’d be fine, and as she walked away to explore the training grounds, I pointed to her, telling Albus, “Eyes.” He followed after her.
Both Kingston and I watched her wander over toward the blacksmith, and then he turned on his box to face me. “It’s brave business traveling with runaway royalty,” he said. My hand immediately set on my dagger, because he knew who Ava was and I’ll be damned if I was letting anything happen to her. “No need,” he assured me, glancing down at my weapon, “she’s in no danger here. Not from any of us, you have my word.” I loosened my grip on the knife, though didn’t remove it completely. “You’re in no danger either.” He offered me a toothy smile, full of a sudden excitement I couldn’t account for. “In fact, Kiena Thaon, should word get out around here who you are, you’d be quite like royalty yourself.”