But I had both my palms against the door again, on either side of her head so she was fitted between the door and me. When we both realized it, realized how close we were, our laughter died down and ceased. There was so much tension so quickly in the new silence between us, and I knew what it meant, but I still couldn’t bring myself to move. I wasn’t touching her, I wasn’t quite close enough to be, but it didn’t prevent the thoughts that were flooding my mind.
I hadn’t once stopped noticing how incredible Ava looked in her dress. Now she was breathing hard from the mixture of running and laughter, so that the exposed part of her chest was expanding deeply with each inhale. It called my attention to the delicate skin there, to the tempting bareness of her neck and shoulders. My palms were flat on the door, deliberately stuck to it so that I had the control not to touch her with them. But my lips… My head was bowed just inches from hers, and all it would take to explore that skin with my mouth was dropping my head a little lower.
Ava’s hands had been stuck to the door too, but at the extended silence, she finally raised them. She cupped my face, and for a long moment she did nothing but caress my cheeks with her thumbs. Then she inched upward, and though I could gauge the trajectory of her lips, could see the intent in her eyes, I wasn’t decided on stopping her. I let her shift closer. Let her get so close that I could feel the heat of her breath on my lips, and I wanted more than anything to let her kiss me. I wanted it so bad that I let her mouth graze mine. Wanted it so bad that I even parted my lips, preparing to return it the moment she finally did kiss me.
It seemed a surprise to us both when I jerked out of reach and whispered, “Don’t.”
Ava’s hands and expression fell, and she plastered her head back against the door. “I can’t do it anymore,” she breathed, meeting my eyes with such a pained need that I felt the ache pierce straight through my heart. “I can’t pretend like it isn’t killing me not to have you.”
I dropped my forehead against hers, still wanting to kiss her so badly that I was on the edge of surrender. “It’ll hurt more to have you and let you go, than to never have you at all.” One of my hands left the door to set against her jaw. Though, whether the action was apologetic or preliminary, I couldn’t even be sure. “I’ll be gone soon.”
She shut her eyes and took in a deep breath, saying when she opened them again, “I’m leaving with you.”
My hand fell from her face out of pure shock. She meant it, I could see that in her eyes, but she didn’t know what she was saying. She didn’t know the consequences. “My life’s not comfortable, Ava. I have scarcely enough food. Some days I don’t eat at all. My cottage is tiny. I may as well sleep on the ground.” I couldn’t let her leave with me and regret it. Couldn’t let her abandon everything here only to resent me for it later. “Here, the king has accepted you. His wife and children have accepted you. You have a home now.” Though I didn’t take a step back, I straightened away from her. “Is it not what you wanted?”
“It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.” There were no tears in her eyes, but her bottom lip and voice were quivering with emotion. “It’s more than I’ve ever wanted,” she said brokenly. “I’m still leaving with you.”
“You’d leave it all behind,” I asked, “just like that?” She made no motion of agreement, didn’t so much as nod, but I could see the decision reflected firmly in her gaze. “Why?”
As if the question spurred some deep pang, her eyes finally filled with tears. It was a stark contrast to the hint of a timid smile at one corner of her mouth, and she wiped the moisture away before answering. “Because,” she said, “you feel more like home than any castle ever could.” She let out a huff of resignation, smiling as her tender eyes met mine. “Because I love you deeply, and with all of my heart.”
That hit me so hard that for an entire span of long seconds, I stopped breathing. I’d known it, but it was something else entirely for her to actually say it. For her to say it and show not a hint of uncertainty. And that lack of breath seemed to create a lack of thought, and for what felt like far too long, I simply stood there, staring at her. I couldn’t move or think or speak over the incredible swelling in my chest. Then all at once I was there, pinning her back against the door and pressing myself against her and kissing her deeply like I’d so desperately been wanting to.
Unlike our first kiss, there wasn’t a single part of me that was hesitating. There was nothing in me that was screaming to stop or to not push it too far. When her arms wrapped around my neck so she could pull herself up and closer to me, my own snaked tight around her waist. When the entire front of her body pressed flush against me, I pressed right back. I tightened my arms even more because I loved the curve of her breasts at my ribs. Loved the push of her hips against mine. And when her tongue slipped past my lips, it wasn’t a reason for pause.
It was incentive. I loved the very taste of her, and wanted to know the taste of all of her. Wanted to sample with my eyes, hands, and lips every bit of her I could unveil. The feel of her tongue was incentive for my hands to leave her waist and reach for the ties that held her dress on. While my fingers worked the knot, my lips left hers for the flesh that had been teasing me all night. My mouth reached her neck, and I was so overcome with raw need that I had no capacity for being tame. I sucked hard at the smooth surface beside her throat, finding encouragement in the way one of her hands shot up to tangle in my hair, in the way her hips bucked at the abrupt intensity of it. I sucked harder still, and it drew a sharp hum from her lips and caused her to grind too far forward with her hips. So I used my hands at her torso to guide her back against the door again, holding her there firmly so I could continue working the complicated strings while my tongue nursed the forming bruise on her neck.
Half the laces were done as I loosened them from the waist up, and as I got higher, I could feel the push of her ribs against my hands. The heavy cadence of her breathing was so deep and fast that her chest strained against the restriction of her dress, and oh, how I longed to free her of it. My fingers worked quicker as the suction of my mouth moved from her neck to the muscle between it and her shoulder. And gods, I’d loved this dress all night, but now I hated it. By the time I finally got the laces undone, Ava was just as impatient to be rid of it as I was. She let go of me to reach for the front, pulling it open and shoving it as swiftly as she could down her body, until it pooled at her ankles, and she drew me back to her and into another kiss immediately.
But she still had the underdress. All those damn layers. And it was so hard with how much taller I was to pin her against the door at the same time I was trying to press myself against her and bend over to kiss her. I couldn’t keep it up, so I held her by the waist and lifted her enough to get her feet out of the garment, and I backed her all the way to that dresser just inside the door. When the backs of her thighs hit it, I lifted her again, sitting her at the edge while I stood between her legs, finally able to kiss her without leaning so far.
I’d had so little patience to begin with. Now I stopped kissing her to reach for the ties of the stiff bodice around her torso, watching my fingers work so I could get it off that much faster. It was so easy to concentrate until Ava took the opportunity to kiss my neck. Every peck was light and gentle, but her lips were so open and wet, and each one left my head increasingly thick with the intoxication of her. She worked upward, from the lining of the shirt at my neck to my jaw, and her hand cupped the other side of my face so her lips could graze me more firmly.
It was distracting enough that I lost some of my focus on the ties of her bodice. One hand continued tugging lazily at the strings, but the other dropped to her hip, grasping tightly and pulling her nearer the edge. It brought her closer to me so I could press my own hips harder against her, fitting me snug between her legs, and her tongue skimmed upward along my jawline in a beat of desperation, not stopping until she’d reached my earlobe and taken it between her teeth.