But she was fighting it. She was terrified, and she was battling this new feeling so ardently that I finally realized she already had control. She had more control than Hazlitt ever did, and it was combatting my authority and my efforts so that my task was impossibly difficult. I exerted so much energy trying to gather the unchecked magic, the magic she was simultaneously trying to keep at large, that I was gasping for air.
I thought to tell her to calm down, to try and relax because I couldn’t do this if she was fighting it, but I was so focused that the words never left my tongue. In a matter of intensely concentrated moments, I felt the collection of energy implode as violently as it had been released. Before I could even open my eyes, there was a crash of glass bottles on a table across the room. Then I looked, and my heart dropped.
Ava wasn’t sitting in front of me anymore, but there was a massive black crow with dark red eyes, off balance and in such a struggle to gain its footing that it was making a mess of the infirmary. It flapped its wings, taking flight for less than a second before smashing into another table of medical supplies. The bird beat its wings to try and stand again, but was so distressed and unsure of itself that it thrashed right off the table and plummeted to the floor.
I threw my hands to my head, immediately panicked enough that I was sick to my stomach. “What have I done?” I whispered.
The bird was Ava—there was no other explanation. She’d trusted me to help her and I’d turned her into a crow. I’d turned her into the very symbol of her captivity. But I hadn’t done this. Her control had rivaled mine, and she’d done this. All I’d unwittingly done was give her a choice. Was give her the power to make that magic whatever she wanted, and she’d turned that darkness’s purpose and ability into something entirely different. It was clear by how frenzied she was that she hadn’t meant to do it, but if she didn’t stop flailing she’d hurt herself.
“Ava!” I hollered, wincing as she crashed headfirst into an already strewn table of medicines. She didn’t seem to hear me, and glass was shattered all over the floor and I couldn’t let her keep doing this or she’d be injured. As much as I hated it, I had to use my abilities. “Ava, stop!” That splitting crack went down the front of my skull, and she stopped flailing and simply laid there, chest heaving with breaths. “You can fix this.”
I didn’t know if that was true, but the crow lay there for a long minute as if taking in my words. She calmed down during that minute, her heartbeat slowed and her breaths became steady, and then I could see the focus in her crimson eyes. As I watched, wings became arms, and feathers became flesh. It happened so fast I would’ve missed it had I so much as blinked, but the crow grew and twisted and changed, and then it was gone, and Ava was lying in its place. I let out a heavy sigh of relief as Ava pushed herself up, sitting at the edge of the table with a confused but comforted look on her face.
And we just stared at each other for a while, both of us seeming unsure of what to say until she gave a soft smile. “That’s not exactly what I expected,” she said. She huffed with dry amusement. Or maybe it was disbelief. “Honestly, I’m not sure what I expected.”
“Are you…” I hesitated, unsure if I should even ask because maybe it was a stupid question given the circumstances. “Are you alright?”
I could tell by the way her eyes lingered on mine, by the way she contemplated my words deeply and for a long minute, that she knew I didn’t just mean physically. “I think so,” she answered with some reserve, adding, “I will be.”
At least she wasn’t angry about the outcome, and it was such a consolation that I nearly sighed a second time. “You’re like that story now,” I said in an attempt to stay optimistic, and I was finally calm enough to realize that she wasn’t fully dressed. I grabbed her tunic off the cot and handed it to her. “About the skin walker in the mountains of the Amalgam Plains.”
She smiled gratefully, and took the shirt from me as she slipped off the table. She clearly wasn’t shy about being exposed, but I turned my face away regardless and on account of how unpredictable she’d been lately. “Apparently I’ve got to learn to fly.”
I let out a soft laugh. “You hate heights.”
“That’s just my luck, isn’t it?” she quipped.
I’d thought she was done dressing, but she was twisting to pull the shirt on as I looked again, and I couldn’t help but notice that, while her eyes had returned to their deep blue, the scar on her back hadn’t gone to normal. It wasn’t glowing anymore, but it had stayed that shadowed shade of crimson. I took a step forward to stop her so I could examine the mark, but as I took that step, I found that my legs were wobbly. All the energy I’d exerted on helping Ava was energy I didn’t have in the first place, and I had very little left to even stand. I nearly collapsed, but managed to catch myself on a table and fall clumsily onto the cot.
“Kiena?” Ava finished pulling on her shirt as she rushed to my side.
I motioned to her back to finish my thought. “It’s still red,” I told her. “I’m sorry I couldn’t fix it.”
“Kiena,” Ava repeated, this time with a reprimanding tone behind her concern. “Are you alright?”
I wasn’t, not entirely. My head hurt, my limbs were heavy, and I had so little strength that I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to get off the cot on my own. Worse than all of it was the burning soreness in my chest that made even breathing painful. Despite that, I nodded. “I think I just need to rest.”
“Come,” she said, lifting my arm behind her neck and helping me stand. “Let me take you back to your room.”
With my arm over her shoulders and her own clasped tight around my waist, she walked me all the way back to my private chamber. I wanted to speak to her, because she was actually talking to me and I wanted more than anything to hear more of her voice. I never wanted her to stop talking, but I barely had the energy to lift my feet to walk, let alone to form words. Once we reached my room, she closed the door behind us and guided me to the bed. She threw back the covers so I could get in and then pulled them up to my chin, and it felt so good to lie down that I hardly got out a mumbled ‘thank you’ before I passed out.
Chapter 19
In the dim light of my fire lit room, I took a wakening breath and opened my eyes. I was curled up under the thick blankets, lying on my side and facing away from the rest of the chamber. It felt as though I’d been sleeping for days, but I was still so tired that I was prepared to go right back to sleep. I rolled over to adjust my position, but at seeing a figure hunched over the small table in my room, my eyes widened with surprise. It was Ava, and though she was facing me, she was so wrapped up in drawing on her leaflet of paper that she hadn’t noticed I was awake.
“You stayed,” I said, easing myself up to sit and dangling my legs over the side of the waist high bed. “All this time?” I stretched my torso by raising my arms above me, pleased to find that the previously aggravating soreness was now no more than a tight feeling in my ribs.
Ava glanced up from the paper she was drawing on, lips curling with a small smile. “I stayed.” After setting the paper aside, she stood and began to walk over, asking as she sat down next to me, “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” I answered. “Was I asleep long?”
“A few hours,” she said. “You’ve missed supper, I hope you’re not hungry.”