Brighid made herself smile at the woman she had come to like as well as respect. “I was just thinking about-” She hesitated, surprised at the sudden desire to tell Etain the truth.
“About?” Epona’s Beloved prompted.
Brighid noticed that even the silver mare had pricked her delicate ears as if she, too, was waiting for Brighid to finish her sentence.
“I was just thinking about my childhood,” Brighid said softly. “It’s hard for me to talk about.”
Etain’s green eyes were wise and kind. Instead of questioning her further she simply nodded and continued to ride easily at the Huntress’s side. Slowly, Brighid relaxed again. Their surroundings helped ease the tension that thinking of her mother had automatically triggered. She and Etain were at the head of the long line of wagons, which were filled with laughing, singing New Fomorians. For the moment they were alone. Cuchulainn had ridden back to check one of the wagons reputed to have a loose wheel, and Ciara was…
Goddess only knew where Ciara was. All of the New Fomorians were excited by the beauty of Partholon and the thick wildness of its eastern forest, but since Ciara had stepped into the land she had been utterly enamored. It was as if she had been deprived of water for days and Partholon was her cool stream of salvation. Etain had said the winged Shaman was a spiritual conduit for her people, so it was only natural that the entry to Partholon had affected her more dramatically than it had the others. Brighid noticed that the High Priestess took special care with Ciara, and that Etain encouraged the Shaman’s exploration of her new land.
And the morning and evening rituals of blessing! Brighid felt a surge of joy just thinking about them. Etain and Ciara had performed them together. Once again, the Beloved of Epona had shown herself to be a kind and gracious High Priestess. She could have very easily excluded the winged Shaman, or patronized her and made her abilities look immature or inconsequential. Instead Etain had shared the ritualistic words of some of Partholon’s most ancient blessings, weaving her calm, experienced voice with that of the young Shaman’s. She had even praised Ciara excessively and publicly when she used her affinity with the spirits of fire to light the campfire.
Etain’s benevolence and love for her people, be they humans, centaurs or even hybrid Fomorians, was a deep commitment between herself and her Goddess. She truly was the Incarnation of Epona’s love.
Brighid was as drawn to Etain as she was amazed by her, but the Huntress said little. She just observed and made mental notes. She watched and waited for Cuchulainn to show his mother that he was beginning to have special feelings for Ciara. Brighid expected Etain to be thrilled to learn of her son’s affections. But nothing of the sort happened. Cuchulainn spent very little time with Ciara. He was always kind to her, but he definitely didn’t make a point to spend any extra time alone with her and, as far as Brighid could tell, he had spoken to his mother about her only in the polite terms he would use when discussing any Shaman.
Of course, none of them had time for much privacy or many prolonged personal discussions. Brighid hadn’t been exaggerating when she’d said the children left no time for anything except their care. While they were in the Wastelands, so much of their lives had been spent on survival that the youngsters hadn’t had the freedom to get into much mischief. The trip through the Partholonian forest was a different story indeed. Brighid was just glad they had been able to take small, rarely used roads and skirt the larger towns and most of the villages. The Huntress internally shuddered when she thought about the horde of exuberant, questioning, ceaselessly moving winged children descending upon sleepy, unsuspecting Partholon villages. The children didn’t understand that not everyone was as pleased to meet them as they were to meet Partholon.
“I don’t think I’ve told you this, but you remind me very much of Elphame,” Etain said, breaking the easy silence that had fallen between them.
Completely surprised, Brighid stared at her, wide-eyed.
“Oh, don’t look so shocked. The two of you have become close friends, haven’t you?”
“Yes, but…” Brighid gulped nervously. “Yes, Elphame and I have become close friends.”
“You know you and Brenna were the first friends she had outside our family.”
Brighid hesitated, thinking before she blurted something inappropriate. “I don’t think El ever told us-that is Brenna and me-in those words, but we knew it without her saying anything.” The Huntress drew a deep breath and met the priestess’s eyes. “I don’t think many people wanted to get too close to a living Goddess.”
“That’s what El said. More times than I care to count. But you were willing to get close to her. Why?”
“She accepted me as I am,” Brighid said without hesitation. “That’s why Brenna became friends with her so quickly, too. It wasn’t that El didn’t see Brenna’s scars-it was impossible not to. Just like it was impossible not to see that joining Clan MacCallan was an escape for me. It’s not that the scars and the radical centaur family didn’t matter to your daughter, it’s just that she accepted them. Easily. Without conditions.”
“And in return you accepted her-Elphame-not the Goddess the rest of the world sees.”
“Oh, I saw the Goddess. I still do. So did Brenna. It’s just that we mostly saw her. And Elphame is a mixture of both-woman and Goddess, centaur and human. And now she’s friend as well as Chieftain.” Brighid sighed, frustrated by the inadequate words. “Does that make sense? When I say it, it sounds…I don’t know…not enough.”
“I know exactly what you mean, child,” Etain said. “Which is why I said that you remind me of her. You and Elphame view the world the same. You’re both strong, logical females who don’t tolerate nonsense and don’t want to waste time on pretenses and excuses. I like you, Huntress. I like that you are friends with my daughter. And I believe that very shortly I will owe you a debt of gratitude.”
“I am honored, my Lady,” Brighid said roughly around the knot of emotion that had lodged in the back of her throat. “But you owe me no debt. I hold no voucher for my friendship with your daughter.”
“The debt is not for Elphame. It is for Cuchulainn.”
“Cuchulainn? But I haven’t really done anything-” Etain’s candid turquoise eyes met Brighid’s and the Huntress clamped her lips together, ending her protestation. “Of course you know that his soul has been shattered.”
“I’ve known since the day it happened.”
“The day Brenna died,” Brighid said.
Etain nodded. “It’s been maddeningly frustrating for me-knowing of my son’s pain and not being able to use my powers to fix it…to make it better for him.”
Brighid opened her mouth to question Etain, but couldn’t make the words come. How does one question the Beloved of Epona?
“Brighid, I am Partholon’s High Priestess, and the Chosen Incarnate of Epona, but I am also a mother and a woman who laughs and cries and loves like any other woman. There is no need for you to be afraid to ask me questions.”
Brighid looked at the beautiful, regal woman who rode beside her and was, again, amazed at Etain’s honesty and accessibility. No wonder the people of Partholon were so wholly devoted to her. Brighid drew in a deep breath before she spoke.
“Why can’t you fix Cu? Why can’t you retrieve his shattered soul?” she asked quietly.
Etain sighed. “First of all, I am not a Shaman. Yes, I can travel to the Otherworld-I do so regularly, but I do so to be in the presence of Epona and to do the Goddess’s business. I rarely interact with the spirits that inhabit the different realms. Not that I haven’t ached to search for Cu’s shattered soul. That was my initial reaction when I realized what had happened to him.” The priestess’s smile was small and quirked a little to the side. “Epona had a very different view of what I should do.” She looked at Brighid and moved her shoulders that were draped in luxurious golden fabric. “I have a tendency to want to rescue my children, even though they are no longer children. My logic tells me this is not good for them. My heart tells me something else entirely. I am grateful that my Goddess stays near to my heart, even when she forces me to keep to my logic.”