“Promise me,” he said. “I don’t want to wake up some morning and find you gone. I want to make this work.”
She sighed softly, then glanced away. “I’m here because I want to be, Brody. If I didn’t want to be here, I’d tell you.”
“Would you? You ran out on your wedding. You didn’t tell your fiancé that you didn’t want to be there.”
“That was different,” Payton said.
“How? Tell me how.”
“I-I…” She paused for a moment, then shook her head. “I should have been brave enough to tell him the truth. I don’t have any excuses for that. But I’m different now. I’m not afraid to speak up for myself, for what I want. I promise, I’ll tell you if I want to leave.”
It wasn’t the promise he was looking for, but it was as good as he was going to get. Brody would have to be satisfied that it was enough. And yet he wasn’t. Until Payton faced her family and her ex-fiancé, he’d always be looking over his shoulder, waiting for someone to turn up and lure her back to the States.
Did he really want to live with that kind of doubt? A sensible, secure guy would tell her to go back and clear up the mess she’d made and then return to him, free of any entanglements. But Brody had never cared for any woman the way he cared for Payton. And he didn’t want to let her out of his sight for a moment, much less send her toddling back to Mr. Moneybags.
“Do you ever think about him?” Brody asked.
“Sam?”
Sam. There. She’d said his name. How many times had she said that name? How many times with love in her eyes and how many times with passion in her touch? She had a whole history with this man, a life that Brody knew nothing about.
“Never mind.” He pushed to his feet. “I don’t need to know. I really don’t want to know.” He raked his hands through his hair again, suddenly feeling a bit vulnerable, standing in front of her stark naked. This was exactly why he couldn’t allow himself to believe in a future with Payton.
She might be able to handle it, but he’d surely find a way to fuck it up. “I’m going to go for a run,” he said.
“But, it isn’t even light out.”
Brody shrugged. “It will be by the time I get back.”
“I could come with you.”
“No. I just need to clear my head.” He walked back to the bedroom and put on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, then grabbed his trainers from the closet floor. When he returned to the living room, she was sitting where he’d left her, her knees pulled up beneath the oversize jumper.
“I’ll be back in an hour,” he said. “Why don’t you get a little more sleep and then we’ll go to breakfast.”
Brody slipped out of the door before she could reply to his suggestion, then strode down the hall to the lift. He stepped inside, releasing a tightly held breath as the doors closed in front of him.
There was no sense trying to plan his future right now. Until he found work, it would be best to keep his feelings for Payton in check. He could enjoy their time together, enjoy the passion they shared, but anything beyond that would be a risk.
8
PAYTON STROLLED slowly through the Fremantle Market, searching for inspiration for the evening meal. She’d already purchased prawns at the fish market on the harbor and now she was studying the vegetables that filled the stalls.
Though they’d only been in Fremantle for a week and a half, she’d already settled into life with Brody. They’d spent their days touring the city and surfing and trying new restaurants. Yesterday, they’d sailed a friend’s boat to Rottnest Island and ridden bicycles over the picturesque roads. Brody had even rented a room at the old hotel where they had their lunch and enjoyed a “nap” before continuing their tour.
Payton smiled to herself. Though they’d stripped off their clothes before crawling into bed, neither one of them had had any intention of sleeping. Instead, they’d spent a lazy hour kissing and touching before they made love.
It had been a wonderful day filled with long walks and quiet conversation. Brody was a complicated man, troubled by his own doubts and worries. He’d confessed that he was toying with the idea of calling the NFL scout and talking to him about a job.
Though she could sense his tension over scheduling a tryout, Payton tried to reassure him that even if it didn’t work out, it didn’t represent a failure. In the end, Brody made the call.
The NFL scout had arranged to meet him at the Oval tomorrow. Brody had nearly canceled, but she’d convinced him she would be there when he came home, exactly as she was when he left, whether the tryout was a success or not.
The more she got to know Brody, the more she realized how vulnerable he was when it came to his emotions. He seemed so self-assured on the outside, but inside, he was a tangle of insecurities. There were moments when she caught him watching her, times when she woke up and he was clutching her hand so tightly it hurt. Was he really that afraid of losing her?
Though Payton had left a mess in Fiji, she didn’t have any plans to return home. She would have to call at some point and had resolved to do that by the end of the week. The private investigator was probably still searching for her and it wouldn’t do to waste more of her parents’ money or cause them any more worry.
By now, they should be comfortable with the fact that she wouldn’t be coming home anytime soon. They’d have accepted the notion that Sam would not be her husband and that she would not be living a comfortable life in Connecticut, raising their grandchildren and attending charity events.
She shook her head, a tiny shudder running through her at the thought. How close to that life had she come? If she’d pushed aside her fears and married Sam, it would have been her future-everything all planned out in front of her.
But her life with Brody was exciting. Every day was a new adventure. And though he worried about his career, Payton was truly convinced that she could live anywhere with him and be happy. She loved working at the station. And she loved Fremantle, too. But most of her affection for both places had come from being with Brody.
Payton strolled over to a vegetable stall and chose some colorful sweet peppers and fingerling potatoes. She waited for the vendor to put them in a bag for her. Then she moved on to the nearest fruit stall and picked out some red oranges, knowing they would make a wonderful tangy-sweet sauce for the prawns. At the last second, she picked up a kilo of strawberries for dessert.
It wasn’t a long walk back to Brody’s apartment and the weather was pleasant. She’d bought only enough for the evening meal and didn’t mind carrying the bags.
As she approached Brody’s building, she noticed a dark sedan parked across the street. A man was standing against the front fender, his arms crossed over his chest. He saw her almost immediately and Payton’s breath caught as he removed his glasses.
“Sam,” she whispered to herself. Her heart slammed against her rib cage as he slowly crossed the street to where she stood. She blinked, hoping that she was seeing things, but as he came closer, Payton knew he wasn’t a figment of her imagination.
“Hello, Payton,” he said. He reached out and grabbed her elbow, then brushed a kiss on her cheek.
“Hello, Sam. What are you doing here?”
He gave her a cool look, his icy blue eyes cutting through her. “What do you think, Payton?”
She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. She didn’t know what to say.
“Don’t worry,” he muttered. “I’ll wait for your answer. I’m used to that.”
His words dripped with sarcasm. She hadn’t realized until now, but that was one of things she truly hated about Sam. When he was angry, he got nasty. She’d always just accepted it as part of his nature, but now she realized there were men who didn’t feel it necessary to patronize the women they loved.